Monday, May 2, 2011

keep coming back to you


unknown

Sometimes people ask me why I like you but I never feel like explaining everything with us. And when I do try, it never comes out right so I can't blame them for not understanding.

We've never been together, the closest we've had is a one night hook-up, completely sober, just because we wanted to. And that was over a year ago. I just keep coming back to you.

We met the first month of freshman year on a Thursday night when you came back drunk and I was studying. We got to talking and exchanged numbers and I gave you no further thought. The boy who I liked had just broken my heart and I went home for the weekend, even though you drunkenly told me I should stay. That Sunday I texted you with full intentions of getting help for my music class but we ended up talking until 4 in the morning about everything. We talked about everything; heartbreaks, friendships, family, and then stuff that was much deeper, that nobody really knew about us. Maybe it was the anonymity of it all, we barely knew each other and it was so easy to just keep talking. But both of us knew that that night wasn't normal and there was a weird comfortableness that we never discussed. We would see each other in the downstairs lobby from time to time but only occasionally would we be alone enough to talk like that first night. I had a massive crush that was like being on a roller coaster; one look from you and I was happy the whole day but I often saw you talking to other girls which was enough to drive me crazy. You were too cool to care and while I hid it well, I was hopelessly nuts about you.

The heartbreaker reentered my life and my crush was on the backburner for awhile. And you noticed that I wasn't around as much. You mentioned that you didn't like the guy to my roommate but I knew it was in a friend way and nothing more like I so desperately wanted. But right before winter break, we went driving. We talked like that first night and we felt that connection. We hooked up and I was foolish in thinking I wouldn't fall for him but I did. But we were away for a month and a lot changes in a month.

By the time we got back, you had a girlfriend and my best guy friend in the dorm had fallen for me. And as unlikely as I thought it could be, I fell for him too. You were no longer on my mind as I got caught up in this amazing guy. He was perfect by all standards. He was brilliant, romantic, sensitive and treated me better than I thought possible. But you started to creep in. I wanted to text you but repressed the thoughts. I didn't talk to you when I saw you and for the longest time, we had our significant others and didn't think of each other. But one night over summer, you chatted me, drunk of course, about how angry you were when I started dating the other guy. You said that even though you had your girlfriend and I had my boyfriend, that I couldn't deny that we had a connection. I couldn't deny it but I lied.

The next year came and with time, both of us broke up with our significant others. We had late night talks in the library, mostly you helping me get over my relationship. We run into each other and randomly hang out and then go our separate ways. I want to text you but our lives have gone different directions. I feel like we had a small margin of time to get it right and I know that we missed it. But I keep coming back to thoughts of you.

25 comments:

  1. love your blog ! every pics which you found is fantastic !

    xoxo
    http://kamilciiia.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh my god, you are amazing, and your blog is just fantastic!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I totally understand! This is so my life right now, it crazy how alike it is. You really should follow your instincts and text the guy! Give it a shot. WIth lots of love from someone who is there too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Beautiful post! I think almost everyone can relate to it..

    ReplyDelete
  5. I can really relate to it. It's sort of my life right now. Keep writing!
    Your blog is also amazing, I love it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Amazing
    Like this
    http://brillenmode.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is exactly how I feel now. Every time I tried to write it down, I couldn't find the words. I wish I could pluck up the courage to tell him that my memories and thoughts of him keep coming up and I have no way of stopping them.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This is exactly where I am, and have been for the past year and a half. No matter what I do, he always finds a back.

    ReplyDelete
  9. It's sad. I mean to care about somebody when he doesn't care at all. I understand you and the sadest think is: there is nothing to do, just live on. Tak care, xx.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You set words to my emotion

    ReplyDelete
  11. I almost started to cry. I recognize every little thing in this story. So damn beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  12. If there's one thing I've learned recently, it's that it's important to fight for love. You can't be afraid of getting hurt by what negative response may come out of the other person. It's a small price to pay for what could be something amazing.

    My boyfriend and I parted ways recently. He began to neglect me and started talking to another girl. We eventually broke up and he hooked up with her once or twice, and all the while I thought he was an asshole. He tried to talk to me, but I'd just ridicule him for how he made me feel and tell him to leave me alone.

    And then it hit me.. Just fight for it. He obviously got attention from this girl I couldn't give him, so give him that attention.

    And now we're working on things. Just talk to this guy. Fight for him and let him know you're ready. Don't get all creepy stalkerish of course, but work for it because not doing it may be something you regret.

    Boys like confidence anyway!

    ReplyDelete
  13. beautiful. love is so confusing, it's insane..

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm glad you're doing well, T. And we do like confidence.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I experienced something like that... when he and I hardly knew each other and our exchange of stories were so spontaneous, I didnt want it to end.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I don't know who wouldn't be able to relate to this...now how do we move on? :(

    ReplyDelete
  17. Well, I think we know what the verdict is! Don't let it go, girl! Seems like you and Mr.KeepComingBack have a real connection. That's something I always wished I had with my ex but it's really one of those things you can't force. If it's there, it's there and if it's not, it's not. With Mr.KCB, I'd say it's worth the trouble to see if you two can make it work :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. this is the exact same thing as me, i try to move on and so does he but we always find our way back to eachother, yet we're never boyfriend and girfriend!

    ReplyDelete
  19. please for the love of love itself, make a leap, take the chance and tell him exactly what you told us here.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hey, there's a lot of helpful information here!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Well, I don't actually consider this is likely to have success.

    ReplyDelete
  22. This won't succeed in reality, that is exactly what I think.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...