Saturday, April 9, 2011

the thought of us having a label...


5 years ago I first laid eyes on you.
Time passed, we grew stronger and closer. But we remained as friends.
We argued, made up, joked around, had serious conversations, kissed and cuddled, went for late night drives, knew everything about each other. But yet this label of boyfriend and girlfriend was never there and it always confused you.
So here is the truth:

You always asked me the reason why we had never got together and that it confused and frustrated you, it confused our parents too. The reason is that, us being together terrifies me. The thought of us having a label means that we have something to loose and I never want to loose you. That label means that you have the ability to hurt me. I don't know what this is, whether it's love or not, because I've never been in love before. But every time I'm in your arms, I feel safe, I feel like there's no place in this world I'd rather be. You can stop the tears rolling down my face simply by smiling at me. The moments we spend together I cherish and although we're different in so many ways, we're so alike. We've been with other people whilst we've had our "friendship" and it gets me jealous but I'd rather see you like another person, than live without you for a second. You're like the air I breath and when we have our arguments it feels like a piece of me is missing. I don't know how much longer we'll have this friendship before you get frustrated that we're nothing more. I'll cherish this while i can.

Much love


  1. You get hurt either way, so why does the label matter?

  2. Alice of LovelandApril 10, 2011 at 1:28 AM

    i used to have the same sort of thing going on, but it was long distance. so we would talk like we were in a long distance relationship, various times a day over phone and video chat.
    and i guess i learned that you cant just assume that someone who you want to be with you wants the same. i guess i can see it from his perspective now...

  3. This has to be one of the most beautiful things I've read in a while.

  4. exactly exactly exactly!

  5. this is nice...but seeing him with other people and being with other people would be difficult??

  6. this made my heart beat faster

  7. If they get frustrated then you lose them that way, too. It's worth the risk.

  8. I don't think the absence of a label diminishes the risk of getting hurt by someone you love. If you love someone, as you seem to obviously love this person, you can get hurt in a million different ways despite them not being your official 'boyfriend/girlfriend'.
    And I understand that if you two aren't officially labeled as anything, you might not feel as betrayed when he/she likes someone else. But, and this is just my musings about it, if you WERE official, he/she might not like anyone else. I'm not saying it's automatic : you don't just say 'hey, we're together now, and now I'll never look at anyone else again!' because it doesn't work that way. But a lot people do stay monogamous, and that would, you know, eliminate the jealousy.
    I'm just saying that you run the risk of losing this person either way. Refusing a label, though I understand your reasoning, does not change that. Love is always a risk. Hurt, grief and loss is the price you might pay for loving someone and that cannot be changed no matter how many - or how few - labels you put on it.

  9. Amen to Kajsa's comment!

  10. Everyone deserves a chance. Give a chance to that guy, to let him prove that he's yours, and you won't loose him. Make things official is the only permenant way to maintain the love, having a vague relationship doesn't.

  11. feel the same here

  12. I cant speak perfectly in english ,but ur text takes my breathe away!! it is always scary, when we found the person . OUR person. when u can easily give him ur hand and also whole ur life too !!
    love makes us live

  13. you're being selfish. Give love a chance. He's stayed at your side because he loves you, recognize it.

  14. Have Courage!
    Give him his 'label' as it will make him happy and nothing between you two will (hopefully) change.
    He actually already has the ability to hurt you and i think you know it as well - with or without your label.
    So, once again. Have courage. Believe in you two.

  15. Give this a label! I feel like either way you're risking your heart, but not making him your boyfriend is hurting both of you. Let go and jump, all you can do is know that if he really does love and care about you then he'll catch you!

  16. I think you should just enjoy your moments with him like there's no tomorrow. And if there's too much pressure on you because of a simple label, listen to your heart and do what's right and better for you both.

  17. If you truly love him fight to be with him even if it means fighting yourself...

  18. Wow, this is beautiful! I had a similar experience, and in the end you will regret if you don't ever open up and experience something! Take the risk, the pain may be immense in the end, but the love and happiness you will feel in the mean time will make it all worth it...
    Best of luck!

  19. I can relate to this. Except for me I'm on the recieveing end. I feel like I'm not good enough and I'm being punished for things that may have happened to him in the past. Take a risk. Someone always ends up hurt either way...

  20. Answer: Nothing is.

  21. I can really relate to this... I love him so much as my best friend but if we became something more then things would change, because they always do and i dont want to lose what we have... but it hurts to see him flirt with other girls even though im the one who said no...

  22. Love it
    "The thought of us having a label means that we have something to loose and I never want to loose you. That label means that you have the ability to hurt me"
    Congrats for writing it.

  23. I promise, that when the real love, or the dream love happen to me, I will share it with you all here...Such a nice blog, I read it sometimes.
    Im 24 years, and one of those girls who dream about true love, but hardly find it...
    Im struggling over boys, and my attitude or my life through them...
    I have had similar, but long-distance friendship, which sometimes for me it was close to relationship... It lasts for four years...
    Now, there are other plans in our lives, so we dont speak that often. I still have hopes and day-dreams about him. Almost everything I do, I do it for him. Or it is just an excuse in life, like a leading star. He really knows me, but Im afraid that the tough moments in my life, has changed our relationship. When I read your text, I thought that he always liked me, but he never tried to be near me, like he did with other girls, who at the end were not what he really wanted or expected. I knew that from the start, but i kept being nice. Maybe circumstances were different and more difficult, I just hope that our days, or my days will come...
    And to you, I wish that you tell him, and finally start a real relationship with him, because it might be a real special love.

  24. you say you don't want to be together because you're afraid (more or less) that if you are eachothers, girlfriend boyfriend, you have something to lose. but still, you seems to be very close friends, right? what about losing that? losing one of your best friendship?

    i'm in almost the same situation, where i am the boy. i know i should do whatever it take to get the chance to call the boy i love mine. and go to him every break in school and wrap his arms around me, because i know he is mine. i don't need to care about what everyone else thinks.

    sooo, ofc, do what's best for you, but in this case you are 2 persons, it's not just your feelings that can be hurt (or happy...)

  25. listen to janis joplin's song get it while you can. i think it might help you.

  26. My english is ... light. But i want to say you: that you live is extraordinary, but... be more generous of yourself!
    If this man is the most important person of your world, you must be open to his soul. He love you. And you refuse to make him (and your) joy.
    Don't live with the fear to lose him.
    Love is generosity. Give.
    And you will receive more than you never could thinking or dream.
    Love is an expanding mystery.

  27. Tell him. Tellhim,tellhim,tellhim,tellhim!

  28. LABEL HIM! Don't be afraid. I'm with you ;)

  29. I have been in that situation for three times already..
    I can relate to that kind of relationship and I must say that I have exactly the same reasons...

    It's really hard to take the risk of labelling that special someone when u are not so sure how would he react when u label ur relationship..

    well, as it is.. I would gladly ENJOY and SeIZE the moment that we have each other..

    only TIME can tell.. heheheheheh.

  30. This will not actually have effect, I think so.


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