Monday, April 18, 2011

i miss you like hell


Dear best friend,

I miss you like hell. Every single day I miss you, your smile, hugs, laugh and jokes. I need you in my life like I need my sister and mom. You just have to believe it yourself, and not to mention believe in yourself. I don’t say this just because I feel like I have to, it’s because I need to, and I want you to know this. I miss you so much. And to the things that I told you last summer, I must say that it was a total mistake. I don’t love you like that. Or, I do, but I don’t want to be your girlfriend. I just want your loving friendship, our loving friendship. What really hurts me, is that you never answered, never even texted me. You could have said something, just left a text saying you were sorry that I felt like that or whatever. But the thing was, I never felt like that. I just missed you so much that I thought I loved you. I thought the feeling I got was out of love, the real love. I was so wrong, and I lost you because of it. It’s the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. They say that you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Well, now I do. It kills me to see you now, the way you act around other people, around my friends and me. I don’t see anything of the old you, only a new and totally insecure you needing a real friend. I want to be that friend. I want to help you. I know this sounds really creepy, but sometimes I even dream of you. We’re friends again, everything is so good and peaceful, and I don’t even have to worry about your uptight girlfriend. Then when I wake up, I’m sadder than ever. I try so hard to fall asleep again and just picture us together laughing and feeling so safe and calm. But it’s just a dream, and I go to school and you don’t even look at me. It breaks me inside. I want what’s best for you in your life. I hope you know that. I just wish I could be a part of it.

Yours always.


  1. I can totally relate to this..thanks for sharing :)

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  2. I dont think your seeking frienship with this guy, i think its the only thing you saw that was good, maybe you just see the good things in him and not the bad things. A good guy would never do that, even if he does not feel the same for you, he would respect your feeling and not make you guess like that. Im sorry to say you need to sit down and realize for yourself that this guy hurt you and your blaming yourself for something you said, something that alot of people are going to love to hear from you one day, a guy that will respond to those feeling and make you feel complete, your holding on to a memory, and sadly, i say this because i used to do the same. It hurts really bad, I know.

  3. I felt the same way, i thought i wanted to be friends but i did love him.. and we tried being friends and it didnt work..

  4. It's sad, but maybe I understand you. (:

  5. Ah, I miss my bestfriend too :( He fell in love with me and told me 'bout it, and I didn't have the same feelings. Because of that, he couldn't be friends with me anymore. It sucks...

  6. 3:fifty5hi
    OMG is getting hot in hear...

  7. I can relate to this post. Friends can be lovers, but lovers cannot be friends.

    Homeowner Insurance

  8. it is really hard to preserve the friendship you once had when there is something more to it, that is the glory of love, it strikes, it hits and its painful

  9. Totally have been in the same situation. I liked my best friend for a year before I told him, and he had a girlfriend at the time. I would NEVER usually do such a thing typically, but he talked to me way more than he talked to his girlfriend, texted/called all the time, etc. I felt like he was emotionally cheating on her with me.

    Anyway, he never was man enough to say he didn't feel the same way or would never consider me a "girlfriend" - instead, he just led me on while they were dating and DEFINITELY after they broke up by non-stop texting/calling/hanging out with me, and hookingup with me when drunk a few times post-break-up. Right now, we're great friends, but we literally pretend nothing happened. We feel uncomfortable talking about our dating lives with each other, though, but that's about it. It's kind of ridiculous. So though I am grateful to have him in my life still because he really is one of my best friends, I wasted almost two years being led on, when it almost would have made it easier for him to stop talking to me so I wouldn't have had to keep wondering "what if" for 2 wasted years of my life.

    Anyway, now I realize I could NEVER date someone that isn't man enough like him, and am glad to say that my boyfriend after him treated me 100% better than he did. You will find somebody that will respond to you when you tell them you love them too, don't sit around and feel bad about someone who can't express it back!

  10. This is so cute! It brought a tear to my eye!

  11. I can relate to this post so much...

  12. I totally agree with sara. He is not a good guy. A good guy would understand that you have those feeling and if he didnt share them would still be there to be your friend. you cant blame yourself for what you said cuz you did nothing wrong.
    right now i am going through what elana is going through. My best friends told me he loved me. I told him i loved him but as a friend. in a second our 22 years of friendship is gone. we were in dipers together and now he can stand talking or seeing me. its enough to break your heart over andover again. you are a beautiful soul... i feel bad for saying this but i think you have to let him go until he feels that he is ready to be friends agian becasue you did nothing wrong and he did everything wrong in the way he reacted.

  13. when i was together with my ex, i was so sure he wouldn't let me go no matter what happen. sometimes i though "what if i disappear, will u look for me?" . after we broke up i saw; he didn't.

  14. I agree. I tried to be friends with the person who I loved, who I considered my best friend. It just couldn't happen. I always think that if I don't call or see him, would he think of me or even think about the times we had together? He didn't .I tried hanging on to him as friend, but it was just too hard. I had different feelings about him then him of me..He loved me as a friend, but I still can't seem him as just a friend. I wanted more , but realized that it's only a dream. He has moved on, but I still haven't . It truly hurts. Now we can't even see each other.

  15. "It breaks me inside. I want what’s best for you in your life. I hope you know that. I just wish I could be a part of it."

    I completely understand, and it's the hardest thing ever when you can't have closure. You just have to love them and wish them well, and pray that one day you'll be as okay as they are.

    This really hit home for me. thankyou. x

  16. I totally understand hw u feel. Been thru that too. Occasionally I would think of him and miss him. Well, I treated him like a friend and it became more than that. He likes me. He treats me totally different with other girls. But I dint want this cuz I wasn't sure bout my feelings for him and afraid to hurt him in the future, so I told him everything. It didn't just hurt him but also myself. When this year came, he act totally different to me. It made me miss him more. I wrote letter to him, he wrote back. As time pass he never replied me anymore. He used to randomly text me. But he doesn't do that anymore. We're like strangers now. But I'm okay with that cuz I'm over it.
    It will take time. around this moment you would suddenly miss him. It just takes time till you totally get over it. You hang in there alright? :)

  17. I lost my best friend for 1½ year ago. He was "the one and only". Without him I was nothing. I was deeply depressed in 6months. I have never felt so much pain.

  18. This won't have effect in reality, that's exactly what I think.

  19. Ces articles écrits par des blogueurs, j'ai des sentiments forts, pensez que votre style est conforme à populaire, je voudrais, je vous remercie de partager....

  20. I wanted to thank you for this great read. Your blog is one of the finest blog about the relationship Thanks for posting this informative article.
    make him miss you


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