Thursday, March 31, 2011

our fire never went out


I've always been a die hard fan of true love. I've always scoffed at people who said love didn't exist or love left you with nothing but a broken heart, a carton of Ben & Jerry's, and too many used tissues. I've always hated people who brought up the divorce rate in my face when I mentioned how in love my parents are and how rare at is. I've wanted to punch people in the face who told me that my parents would probably end eventually.

The thing is, I kinda have hard love life shoes to fill. My parents met when they were 15 at their mutual summer resort destination and since then they were head over heels in love. They have been married 24 years and I've never seen two people so crazy about each other. They wrestle and tickle each other and make out all the time, you'd think they were 17-year-olds. They are two of the most passionate people I have ever met and ever since I was 5, I've wanted what they have.

I've always thought that it was a 1 in a thousand chance of finding your true love at 15 and being together for all that time. That is until I met you.

We started dating in sophomore year of high school and god were we in love. We were the biggest abusers of PDA but the truth was we just couldn't keep our hands off of each other. I just didn't think I could be that in love with someone and have it last. Maybe that's what broke us in the end. You didn't trust me with your heart really and I took you for granted way too many times. I assumed that our love could withstand wild fire and you were sure that I'd never leave. But there were other problems too. Your parents were horrible and they caused you to have issues that I wasn't fit to deal with. I didn't know how to make you happy, to make you comfortable in your own shoes. I wanted to know that if I wasn't around you'd be okay.

And like all passionate romances, we ended in the summer a year later. I made the mistake of thinking I wanted to be wild and free and you made the mistake of never moving on. We stayed together off and on forever but we both knew we weren't going to get back together. Something had just changed in us that neither of us knew coming until it bit us in the ass.

I met him and he was sweet. He was nice to me. Not to mention he seemed to be completely stable and something that I could not feel worn down by during the ever tiring junior year. I sound like a bitch writing this and it sort of makes me hate myself, but I guess love can bring out the worst in you too. The truth is I've been with him 8 months and I still can't live without you in my life. Don't get me wrong I love him. Or at least I think I do, but then how does that explain that my heart pounds when you tell me I look beautiful or when you tell me you're mad I go into a frenzy and panic.

People say that true love never really goes away. I believe that the reason I can't live without you is just under my nose, I just haven't come to terms with it yet. Maybe we're done for good. Something tells me we're not. Our fire never went out, trust me. And the sad thing is, I don't know if I'll ever be able to move on...



  1. The people you really love and really hold on to, they will be there for you, or else you will realize you never really loved them. I believe in true love girl. Its been over 8 months since I have seen the girl of my dreams, the girl who was forsaken to be with me. Love finds a way, bc nothing is more powerful than love: than God. Its all connected. Enjoy where you are at bu never forget and have the decency to let all members know how you are feeling, even if it is a confusing one. All the best. I love you T.O.E. xoxo

  2. I believe in true love, with all my heart. I too have had people question true love, but I never let it change my opinion.

    I hope you find it within your heart, whether it be with that guy you met when you were 15 or someone else. I really do believe we all can find it, and it can happen when we least expect it.

  3. Very nice. I too believe that finding a true love is very rare . Your parents are really lucky. I know in love these kind of problems arise. But REMEMBER, ONE DAY YOU WILL FIND YOUR TRUE LOVE. I have heard that "TRUE LOVE IS HARD TO FIND BUT ITS THERE FOR EVERY BODY." Please visit my blog and plssssss be my follower.

  4. About the parents, it sounds great. I wish my parents would have been in love like that, but sadly they're a part of that divorce-statistics... Although I do believe in love, kind of, but not in marriage.

  5. I met my true love at 14 and we dated for 2 years and went separate ways for a few different reasons - mainly we were young and had many lies thrown our way and just weren't mature enough to sift through the garbage. We've been married now for 7 months after 27 years apart. The moment we saw each other again for the 1st time in over 15 years, we knew we never let go and had been in love with each other since we were 15.

    He is the love of my life and always has been.

  6. i dont care if I'm your true love or not. i just want you to believe me when i tell you that you ARE beautiful. id like you to know that i would give my life to protect you because i do love you. i fucking love you. i miss you more and more each and every day and there has been times where i was a second away from total heartbreak, but i tell myself that it doesnt matter if you do not want to be with me, it matters that you are happy. ive always told you how all i ever wanted was for you to be happy.

    i miss and love you more than words can describe, and i'd like you to know that you will always be my Reason.
    ~That kid you met when you were 15


  7. Whert was idoing when we were 15'd?! OMFGUCK

  8. i love what u write here.. expressive and feeling full. true
    love definitely stil exists

  9. Stuff like this is poisonous to future relationships. This includeds the comments about true love always being there. Why would I ever want to marry someone who can't stop thinking about another person from a past relationship be it 1 year or 10 years ago? I've been in that sort of relationship. The truth is that the person who is still attatched needs to learn to move on before they can find true happiness again.

    Like the article says. Love like that isn't beyond reach. It's very easily 1 in a thousand, or even 1 in 100. You just need to try and find it. And avoid poisonous relationships where your partner can't let go of their past.

  10. my parents have been together since they were 17 they were each others first love its a lot to live up-to i get it, i feel like i never will.

    esther xx


  12. I consider every person should read this.


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