Saturday, January 1, 2011

same old thing


shimmerlikegold

2011.

A new year, a new beginning, a fresh start and change, four things most and many people say. Thing is when it comes around... it’s just the same old thing, just a different day in a different year, and your still there, in my memories, in my heart. You were my first love.

I did start too believe that I was over you... Things were going good, I was somewhat a little happier than I have been in weeks.

Then you have to text me.... you said ‘happy new year, hope you get all you deserve x’ doesn’t sound a big deal, I know, but to me it is, the last time we spoke you was awful to me,

I was horrible back and we left it at that, and then you text me, it bought memories, feelings and heartache back to the surface.

I wish you never texted me, because I realised that I actually aren’t fully over you and I’m starting to hate the fact that I do miss you, I don’t want to miss you anymore.
You have hurt me so much... you pushed me out of your life like I wasn’t worth it, carried on to crush me into little pieces each day, and you just didn’t have a care in the world.

You promised me our future, you promised you would never leave me, you promised that you would never hurt me, but you broke them promises as quick as you made them.

Guess i was just silly to believe them.
So even though part of me does still love you, and part of me probably always will... right now i just can’t bring myself to forgive you. I’m sorry.
Sometimes, I wish things was different between us, that we made it through our problems, that i grabbed our last shot at being happy, that i didn’t let you go but it’s too late now.

I’m starting to believe that we are better off apart, plus you have a new girlfriend, you told me yourself and I said I didn’t care...

Truth is saying I didn’t care was so much easier then admitting that I’m hurt.

Me and you, us, doesn’t exist anymore, they say everything happens for a reason, so maybe we are better off apart and this is for the best.

I want you to know and i hope you do know, that I did love you, I really did, with everything I had, it was always just you, you had my heart, just you.

I tried so hard at times, i know i should of tried all the time, but you should of done as well, we both gave up on each other in the end. I am sorry.

-sr

51 comments:

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  2. They never know when to stop. Nor does the heart.

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  3. Know the feeling. I know all about it. One little text can really turn the hole thing upside down.

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  4. I really can't read the stuff on here without getting a lump in my chest and stomach and having my tears burning behind my eye lids. I'm not over him yet and I can't read these lovely posts. I hate it.

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  5. I know it feels so bad to be away from the one who loves you , from the one who hurted you.. You might have felt the burning pain in your heart .. He broke his all promises and left you ... I can understand what is going on your mind right now. Just delete all his texts , all his pics etc JUST ERASE HIM COMPLETELY FROM YOUR MIND AND HEART.. He dont deserve your love and he dont have any right to hurt you like this..... DO CHECK MY BLOG www.defectiveseven.blogspot.com if you like it then be my follower.

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  6. thankyou for leaving comments.
    to anonymous: your right, just one text can turn it all upside down, i honestly thought i was over him then by him just texting me, it made me think that he still does think about me, it just made things hard again. i was in tears because im so confused on how im feeling. and to Thoreau's girl, i have deleted all his texts, i deleted his number to, he has hurt me so much, why is it so hard to get over somebody you gave your everything to, i wish i could just erase him from my mind and heart, it would make me so much happier, but i cant, theres always something what either reminds me of him or just the littlest thing like a text that brings it all back to me. i guess only time will be my only healer.
    -sr

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  7. i know the feeling of both giving up on each other. sad. but it's for the best. xo

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  8. same thing happened to me..
    oh god, it had been so much better if i had asked him to delete my number

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  9. Demasiada belleza en tus palabras, ojala algún día pueda vivir eso!
    Un beso grande!
    Feliz 2011

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  10. Same exact thing.. Im still holding on and he's already let me go. A little text gives some sort of hope for what you had

    On new years a friend told me that one day, some guy is going to thank your ex for letting you go

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  11. i wish love wasn't so painful, but life is not easy sweetie, but don't waist your time thinking what could of been because theres somebody else out there who one day will make you a whole lot happier and show you that your worth it and give you everything you deserve!

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  12. I had that also, i had my special someone, who gave me promises of the future, but i didnt care enough then, only when he found another one, i noticed how i much i really loved him, but it was too late already. i was so angry at him and it took me 9 months to forgive him, and then when im finally happy again, he texts me and out of all the people in the world, he tells me that he is misses me still, that was so unfair! my 9 months erased just like that, i was angry again, but he was still with his girlfriend and i was alone..

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  13. Maya -
    hes already found another one.. after only 3 weeks of us splitting up, yet it was only 2 days before he got with her that he was telling me that he misses me more than he should and that he will always love me, and even though he was with her he was still getting jelous that i was speaking to other lads. i think we was both messed up as much as eachother to be honest, but i carnt forgive him for what hes done. maybe one day i will forgive, but i wont forget. i dont know what goes through mens minds sometimes!

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  14. He's so cruel to you. Nobody ever deserves that. Some people don't realise you have morals, pride, confidence that can be knocked hell of a long way down. You still have a life to live. But obviously that's unimportant to his desires.

    To have you heart broken, shattered and stamped on really isn't enough for some. They actually just don't care. Then you wonder whether they must have ever cared at all.

    That person you fell in love with all that time ago may have been beautiful and had a true heart. There must have been something, for love to be there like that. He can't be the same person now - I suppose the only way you can think off how he is now is to know that person you fell for is now gone. That was a different person. And I realise you're still in love with that person. But the one thats there now hurting you really isn't him.

    New year though :) Hope it brings happiness to you, you'll definately get there.

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  15. He promised he wouldn't leave me too but he did.

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  16. This is beautifully written. I honestly feel as if you took the words from my head. Just know that you're not the only one going through this, and things do get better. <3

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  17. this is exactly the same condition with me

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  18. May each day of the coming year be vibrant and New bringing along many reasons for celebrations. Wishing you a fabulous 2011!

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  19. I am really with u. I can feel and understand, what u r feeling.it takes a long long time to come over this. but u need the time, u need to mourn.

    huges from berlin

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  20. I am so much impressed by your blog. Its so impressive and the words and images are just a unique combination.

    Its just awesome and I think love hurts, makes you feel strong, makes you happy and I mean everything. :-)

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  21. I've been there. Exactly at that point where you are. My boyfriend went on to an new girlfriend after 2 weeks. We'd been together for 1 year. He was my life, he was everything. I loved him with all my heart and soul, and he took all of that and left me. Just like that. We haven't really talked since, he was with her. We broke up and, after just a moment, there he was with another, new girl. I never wanted to see him again. I hate her. I hate him. It's been several month now and I have got a new boyfriend now, after four months of crying, hurting and crying again. A bleeding heart. I still see him, them everyday. And it still stings a little bit in my heart. Even though I love someone new now. I just wanted to say, it'll always hurt a bit. Your heart will always bleed a little bit. You'll always care about him, even though you try your very best not to. But it'll get better, and someday you'll also find somone new. And learn to love him instead.

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  22. Aw. Similar texts. Similar hurt.. the hurt will be there for a long time, but keep going forward, things will work out.

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