Tuesday, November 2, 2010

someone to fall in love with who I am


unknown

...I'm eager to find love.

Why is it that even the prettiest, nicest, most out going people can't find love? Or don't have it? I'm still baffled to this day why the last boyfriend I had was 2 years ago. It kills me to know that there are people right now so happy and in love with their significant other and I have no one. I'm alone and I hate it. I just want to be someone's something, is that too much to ask for? I'm tired of being just the friend you talk to about your 'girl problems', and I'm tired of being just good friends. I want to show someone the love I have weld up inside of me and to make someone feel happy and the receive the same. Guys these days it seems just want someone because they don't want to be alone, not because there are any feelings involved and that's not what I want. I just want someone to fall in love with who I am, as I am. I just want to share my love with someone special and have someone I can think of before I go to sleep and wake up knowing things haven't changed.

So for whoever you are, I want you to like me of your own accord. Not because I drop hints or dye my hair to suit your favor. Not because your friends tell you to or try to talk me up to you. Not because I wear the clothes I know you like and not because I make excuses to text you every day. Not because I’ve always been around and not because it seems like the nice or right thing to do. I want you to like me because you do.

I don’t want to chase you like everyone else I’ve had around just to be knocked back down. I want you to like me for me. And if that means you never will, and that I need to sit around and work on burying these feelings deep enough that I eventually forget about them and give up. I will. I guess I'd rather be alone than have you, whoever you are, here just so neither of us had to fall asleep alone at night. I just want real, true love.

But one thing I learned from love and from craving it is, if you don't expect it from anyone then you'll never be disappointed.

-Taylor

65 comments:

  1. It's hard to find true love, you know.

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  2. I've always found that love kind of blindsides you. You get to the point of why can't I have love!?!? But just as you think you can give up hope, there is that person you were looking for. Good luck man <3

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  3. Good luck wit that ehh..

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  4. Well put.

    http://justtravistran.blogspot.com/search/label/Novella

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  5. hear hear. I feel the exact same.

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  6. Totally Know what you are saying...4 years single and going strong :) But this is the point where you realize that once you do find love, you will be more ready than ever and it will be WORTH it!

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  7. love this. and i'm facing this situation. you know. we need to hands to clap. if only one sided love. I guess. he dont deserve you.

    enjoy ur life!

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  8. Oh my gosh. Thank you for posting this. This is exactly what I'm going through.

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  9. i am dying to love someone, even if she's on the other corner of the globe. distance doesn't matter, looks doesn't matter, i just want to shower my love out to someone :)

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  10. God, it's like I'm the one who wrote this text.

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  11. "Dont it expect it from anyone then you'll never be dissapointed". This thought is true but goes against all of my romantic notions... if in your dreams you expect love then don't stop dreaming that - disappointment can be beautiful if you embrace it but also know when to let it go.

    x
    x

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  12. Searching for the true love. This is exactly what I try to do, even if it is so hard...

    http://carrouseldelamode.blogspot.com

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  13. Me too, I want to love, but I'm afraid. I failed and was hurt and I don't want to be hurt again. Check my post about this :)

    Lovers' Shore

    http://lovers-shore.blogspot.com/

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  14. i want love so badly, but im also afraid. it sucks:(

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  15. A love poem for the sad

    http://beyondjane.com/relationships/friendship/an-ode-to-a-girl-who-has-turned-you-down-time-and-time-again/

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  16. Thank You...I was waiting to hear that someone has got the same situation...it's sad but true that is hard to find love...I hope that You will meet Your second half
    P.S. Sorry for my English...well it's not good enough;)

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  17. It's horrible to feel this way because you get hurt even if you only want is to just give everything you have to someone and what did they do? They just left you for the most cruel and selfish reasons. It's unbelievable! I don't care how long I'm single; I'm determined to live my life to the fullest even without having someone to share it. Who cares anyways? What's the point of finding someone to love only to find that they're a jerk in the end?

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  18. On the same boat. My best friends all have someone in their life, and I'm the only one left standing. &even now, college friends are starting to get together. I feel alone in this world. Somehow, its relieving seeing I'm not alone.

    I want to feel love again. I miss love. I just want that special someone, knowing I can turn to him anytime, and he'd be there. But if in the end, it doesn't work out, its okay because, I felt love. Thats what I want to feel. Love. I miss it. I think I'm going crazy without it.

    xx

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  19. Not as well written as the previous ones but truly captivating.Story of my life.
    -xoxo-
    http://becauseitrocks.blogspot.com

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  20. Just knowing that someone else is feeling as troubled as me about this, makes it feel a bit easier being around, if you know what I mean. You put it down in words so well, tnx for sharing!

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  21. So perfectly said... "I just want real, true love." My sentiments, exactly.

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  22. 'But one thing I learned from love and from craving it is, if you don't expect it from anyone then you'll never be disappointed.'so sad, but so true.
    i know exactly what you mean. at least i knew - now i have buried all my feelings. i guess it happens to everyone who has never really felt anything and gave up waiting at some point in their lives due to loss of faith...
    i wish i'd be different. so fuckin different...

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  23. I agree 1 million% with everything you posted. I don´t know how some people just get so lucky and so fast or so often. It´s like.... what did we do or what invisible sign are we holding that says ¨not interested or Shooo!¨

    It´s crazy, but I think that by being solo for so many years and not having anyone knocking on your doors or calling you non-stop...after a while you just accept it and you stop EXPECTING much of anything and this lack of expectation brings about a sort of peace.

    I´ve always heard you don´t LOOK for love, it finds you. It´s lurking outside somewhere and you never know why the wait is so long. You can´t RSVP for it or pre-order you just have to ride the tide and most importantly maintain your inner tranquility.

    You, like so many of us, has a lot of great qualities that perhaps some have overlooked but that surely cannot go forever unseen.

    hang in there!
    good luck!
    what a great post!!!!

    -kelly

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  24. i share your sentiments. it's frustrating, but yet, i believe. in love.

    i would like to share my blog with you.

    aspotofjooja.blogspot.com

    it's semi depressive but i hope you find that you're not alone.

    i heard that (i'm not religious) God would not have created soulmates for us if He didn't intend for us to meet them.

    *hugs*

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  25. I feel YOU. I feel YOU. I feel YOU.

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  26. Everything you wrote hits home for me. I'm exactly where you are. BUT, you need to be honest with yourself. You're lonely. You're sad. Do you want a relationship to fix that?

    Because no one will make you feel less lonely. Only you can do that. I realized that I was looking for a man to fix everything wrong in my life. And that was foolish. Too much to ask of another human.

    Amen to wanting someone to like you for you! But I'm worried about your last sentence. Yes, you won't be disappointed but what is life without love? Why hold all that in? Yes, it hurts to love and love and be rejected. It's called courage. Being brave enough to believe in your heart full of love. By not expecting love, by hiding your feelings and your heart, you are shutting down the beautiful part of yourself. Please don't! You are amazing!

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  27. as bad as it may sound its good to see there are people out there who can relate to how I feel :/

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  28. I as well want to believe in love so bad, but i feel like love has stopped believing in me..

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  29. That's exactly how I feel. I swear that I can't stop thinking to this stupid thing. Why can't find love, like others do?

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  30. Story of my life. Hang in there, one day we too will find the 'one'.

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  31. I'm exactly like you.
    I don't want just anybody.
    I want THE ONE. I want THE ONE who is going to love me and be with me for the rest of my life.
    The past doesn't matter.

    I'm waiting, and the wait is tough. But I'm 100% confident that the wait will be worth it.

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  32. preach on. i feel your pain. grabbed my attention right off the bat, because ive been single for two years and i consider myself a good person but i dont understand why i havent found someone i can give all my love to. i have faith though, someday... i like to think that someones out there for me, looking for me too. we just havent found each other yet. youll be okay, true love finds us all someday. i believe it.

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  33. Hi, I'm the Taylor who wrote this (bondgirlz4@comcast.net) and I just want to say thank you to everyone who has read this and can relate. I want to say thank you also to this whole website because just 2 days after sending this in, I think I met someone. Or, someone has found me. I don't know yet if he's the one. I don't even love him. But in conclusion to all of this, I really think that it just takes time. It sucks waiting, but like one person said in comments, our individual greatness won't go forever unseen. Thank you so much for reading this and posting this, it means so much to me.

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  34. Maybe you're not that pretty then?

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  35. When they do finally come along though, all that waiting is completely worth it. Love is always worth it.

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  36. I know how that feels. But we have to understand that we don't force love because when we do, it ain't love that we get. Let love find us and when it does, I'm pretty sure it is what we are looking for.

    http://lbpenmaster.blogspot.com

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  37. perfect entry for me at this time.

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  38. You took the thoughts out of my head. This is so true about love today.

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  39. @wine; it isn't about how pretty you are...get a life.

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  40. im in the same situation...
    im pretty, im funny but that person havent come yet... and its annoying that people ask me why im single... i dont know if im so picky because sometimes a boy asks me to date him but i just dont feel anything for that person and i dont want to waste my time or his... or maybe im too picky beacuse at the end im scared of love...
    good luck with this ney boy!

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  41. I want to love someone but i did stop expecting someone will give me the exact love that i give, it will never be the same. Not expecting is much more better..

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  42. I want to love someone but i did stop expecting someone will give me the exact love that i give, it will never be the same. Not expecting is much more better..

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  43. i believe everything you say is true. but for me, i've stopped looking. if whoever wants me all they have to do is ask me out. instead of looking for that special someone, i've decided to "date" myself. i make myself feel pretty, i take the time to care about myself and make sure i'm happy. i've been in love and had my heart ripped out, and i have so much love to give. i'm just waiting for someone to come around :)
    in short, i love what you wrote! you're amazing and beautiful and you will find love. it will just be unexpected like it should be.

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  44. Reading this, and these comments makes me realise im not the only one in this situation.
    4 years single. attractive, nice, not too picky yet contiunually shut down and never chased after. Surrounded by beautiful (like stunning stunning girls) friends who are all in relationships.

    Good luck to you and everyone else out there, it'll come soon enough :)

    www.btwimobsessedwithyourblog.blogspot.com

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  45. I know this comment won't help you anymore in your way towards love. But I am feeling the way you are right now. Exactly! and it helps to have all the points put out there, especially cuz i'm not good at words. Love is all i've ever wanted but it seems like it's the furthest thing from me. So thank you for sharing that and I am truly sorry for your ache. It's comforting to kno you feel the same but i really wish you or anyone had to feel this way. just keep thinking soon... is about all you can do.

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  46. great! totally what I have been feeling for dayssssss..

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  47. 7 years of being single..and still counting...this entry shouts out everything i had bottled up in my heart all these years...there are days i would be so depressed thinking if there's something wrong with me that i can never find love...and if its normal for someone to be single for that long...but then deep down i always know that i would rather be single than be with somebody just to be with someone..like u...i just want love...one true love..someone who i can spend the rest of my life with...someone to grow old with...its that simple..but yet...love is never simple..
    it takes time...and i hope i wont have to wait 7 more years...

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  48. i feel exactly the same as this post at this point in time, glad someone else is feeling it too, not just me

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  49. At least we're not alone in that boat ;)
    Thank you!

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  50. totally relate, thank you :)

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  51. ONLY TWO YEARS. LOOK AT THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE.

    Instead of wishing things were different why not embrace what may possible be the last few years of single life you'll EVER have (assuming you're going to stay with the next one you meet forever)?

    It also shows guys you aren't just sitting around waiting for them, you have a life, and you are enjoying it.

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  52. I am right there with you. Perhaps our soulmates just aren't ready for us yet....but it will happen :)

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  53. ive been very single for 2 years too and been dating heaps... i cant find that special person.

    :-(

    it really sucks.

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  54. i hate feeling forever alone. the last time i had a boyfriend was 2 years ago too, since then ive had a couple 'almost' boyfriends who hurt me deeply, and ive never been in an actually healthy, happy relationship.

    it sucks.

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  55. This is the most beautiful post I have encountered on this blog yet. Very well written! Sick as it may sound I am kinda teensy weensy bit glad to go through your entry and other people's comments to see that I am not alone in the sea. I feel for your my friend. God Bless!

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  56. This can't have effect in actual fact, that is exactly what I consider.

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