Tuesday, November 2, 2010
someone to fall in love with who I am
...I'm eager to find love.
Why is it that even the prettiest, nicest, most out going people can't find love? Or don't have it? I'm still baffled to this day why the last boyfriend I had was 2 years ago. It kills me to know that there are people right now so happy and in love with their significant other and I have no one. I'm alone and I hate it. I just want to be someone's something, is that too much to ask for? I'm tired of being just the friend you talk to about your 'girl problems', and I'm tired of being just good friends. I want to show someone the love I have weld up inside of me and to make someone feel happy and the receive the same. Guys these days it seems just want someone because they don't want to be alone, not because there are any feelings involved and that's not what I want. I just want someone to fall in love with who I am, as I am. I just want to share my love with someone special and have someone I can think of before I go to sleep and wake up knowing things haven't changed.
So for whoever you are, I want you to like me of your own accord. Not because I drop hints or dye my hair to suit your favor. Not because your friends tell you to or try to talk me up to you. Not because I wear the clothes I know you like and not because I make excuses to text you every day. Not because I’ve always been around and not because it seems like the nice or right thing to do. I want you to like me because you do.
I don’t want to chase you like everyone else I’ve had around just to be knocked back down. I want you to like me for me. And if that means you never will, and that I need to sit around and work on burying these feelings deep enough that I eventually forget about them and give up. I will. I guess I'd rather be alone than have you, whoever you are, here just so neither of us had to fall asleep alone at night. I just want real, true love.
But one thing I learned from love and from craving it is, if you don't expect it from anyone then you'll never be disappointed.