Thursday, November 4, 2010

i want to move on..


ffffound

every time i want to remember you..
i close my eyes..
i haven't seen you in so long..

i close my eyes..
remembering images..memories..pictures..
the first thing that i remember
is that picture of you..
wearing that dark blue hat..outside of starbux...
u were wearing a beige sweater..
and had a thicker beard then usual..
i remember your gaze in the picture
i feel like that picture spoke to me..
calling out for me..
i longed to be there with you
i long to be with you..

i daydream all the time..
most of my day im thinking of you..
my mind keeps drifting to you..

i get mad at myself..
im forgetting
i dont want to forget..
i dont remember anymore..
it was so long ago..
it hurts so much that i dont remember..

i forgot so many things..
but what i will always have is the way that u made me feel..

i feel small and inadequate now..
no one has ever made me feel that special..

i close my eyes again..
thinking of you..
looking so handsome.
you hugged me so tight
that u cried..
i couldn't believe it u cried..

i long for that hug
i long for that day

its not healthy to think about u like this..
i cant help myself..
i try
i try

till today songs on the radio remind me of you.
i cant even listen to them..
it hurts so bad..

i wish that one day you pick up the fone and call me..
and tell me
that you miss me
and that you will always love me..

its pathetic that i still have hope..
i wait for news that you guys ended ur marriage.
i know thats mean..
but i think that we are meant to be..
and that we are destined to be together..

so naive..
i think deep down im still that naive girl..
yearning for love and attention..

in my sleep i usually wake up with tears..
another day without you..
do you know that ever day i look at my fone
hoping for a msg a call anything from you

every day i wake up a little bit disappointed
every night i dream of you and hope that you come back..

i am lost without you
i am not complete..

if i hear someone talk like that id think there so corny
im not usually the romantic mushy type..
this is from my heart..

i dream of you
i wait for you
i long for you
i am still madly deeply in love with you..

to my sadness and despair..this is still the case..

dear god..please get me out of this..
i want to be ok
i want to move on..

i will go to bed..
still with hope in my heart..

25 comments:

  1. ""Romantic love is a passionate spiritual-emotional-sexual attachment between a man and a woman that reflects a high regard for the value of each other's person.""
    --Nathaniel Branden

    i think you lovein deepely, you willtrymore, sure you will get

    allways with prayer

    bestvwishes

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hope you get passed this rough patch, I hope you realise that you deserve that you are worth more than all of this. You dont deserve to be someones second best. I hope you find someone who will knock your socks off and make you believer in all thats wonderful about being in love. I hope you get past romaticising this person, youre so focused on the good you forget why things ended. And then the person becomes this perfect figure in your mind, and you compare everyone to him, Its not fair.

    All the best! I been there before too, it gets better with time and someone else in your life.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You can have this feeling again, with someone who you will be just as in love with. It is possible to have intense love with another person, it will just be a little different than the love you had with him. You're a great catch for the person who does come along...

    www.TheLoveBlogger.Blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh my god ... I'm crying right now, I'm hurt, I can't move on , I just can't .
    Seeing him happy with her torn me apart, when will this stop, I hate him for not letting me having him, I hate him .

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is so sad, and so beautiful.

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  6. i recognise this exactly, :(

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  7. that physically hurt to read.

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  8. Every word is what I've wanted to say...but one part. I'm the one married still - he is you, but the words you penned are mine. So, from the one who is the person you miss...know that you are missed too, as much. Life is unfair, unkind. --pollyanna
    www.becomingpollyanna.blogspot.com

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  9. you need someone to get you out of the mess you're in. You need to love again. I don't want to disappoint you, but i tried and failed :( maybe you can do it.

    http://lovers-shore.blogspot.com/

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  10. Darling! I feel the same way. I can't get him out of my mind. Hate that hope, hate to remember, hate to long. I do understand you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. he thinks of you too.
    love that deep doesn't exist without feel it returned.
    he can move forward and find love different than yours.
    but it doesn't mean you still don't hold a piece of his heart too.
    the memories will continue to fade because time does heal.
    just don't ever lie to yourself and say you're over him when you're not.
    you'll just have to find someone to love differently.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I think that it isn't pathetic, is exactly what you feel for him.. And i think too, that we (womans) have always that spectative that a man will love us, as we love they. But, is so hard to can find a boy like that today :/.

    You have to continue with your life, and maybe one day, he come back, and you will be so happy in that moment, and he will feel the same that you are feeling now :).

    Sorry for my english, I know that it isn't good, but i'm from argentina (:

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thank you, you have just spoken for me. I love him so much and every night I go to bed "still with hope I my heart" that we'll be toghether.


    -P.

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  14. It's terrible how we can still love someone so much even after it's done with. We'll always have those fond memories of someone that completely diminish all the bad memories we have of them. I'm still struggling to get over someone even though I've found someone new and am happy with this new person. It's a long and difficult process...I don't think we ever really stop loving someone. I think we will always love that someone or love the memory of them anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  15. it's incredible how your words are describing what's on my mind...
    I used to say that, after my first love broke up with me. It was the first time my heart suffered, in such a deeply way.
    I've never felt that way, and now i know what is it like to be in love with someone.
    All of you are right, we have to slowly let someone else get in our life, our heart. Letting them love us, letting ourselves love them back... any love stories will be lived the same way, but we're only humans. We are just humans, and we can't do anything about all this suffer. Just time, and new faces. Until we smile again, until we can finally wake up and realize we moved on!

    In my case, my firstlove came back two months later. I couldnt tell myself it was real, he came to see me for my birthday. Now, we both know something has been broken, and can't never be fixed, but we're so happy to know our love won't die. we try to deal with what is left, it's another version, fragile, but i dont care.
    I love him.
    Does it ever die?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ohh I've been there. Yes I've been there. Beautifully written. feel better!

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  17. i hope you find your soulmate very soon! and forget the guy who broke your heart...

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  18. This is exactly what I'm going through right now... Help me, help us.

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  19. I just discovered this blog, and I just want to say thank you! And please dont stop writing ..:)

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  20. that's so sad, i feel like crying.

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  21. you will find someone out there trusttt mee...life cant be planned your a great girl...and deserve more then life itsself and if this is me your talking about im sorry! live your lifeee one day at a time and things will just happen for the better... someone once told me thiss

    As hard as it may be to let something in your life go or justify why you are where you are, always remember the decisions you made were for a reason...a reason which made so much sense at the time and should not be regretted.

    ReplyDelete
  22. i doubt its you
    he would never go on this website..


    but thank you for the encourging words..

    but why would u think that u r the person mentioned in my post??

    ReplyDelete
  23. Thank you for your article, really helpful material.

    ReplyDelete

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