Thursday, November 18, 2010

i want him to be the exception


unknown

After years of disappointment, I finally decided to give up on the male species. No dating, no boyfriends, no love. I mastered the art of causality, distance, and feeling-less flings effortlessly. Anything emotional was always left in a mess, and someone's heart was always broken. I no longer wanted to, or I no longer could, be apart of that binge eating, tearful cycle of the broken hearted. So, I decided to never allow myself to fall into that vulnerable position of actually feeling something real ever again.

And then I get to college. You move in across the hall. We laugh at awkward run-ins on the elevator. We bond over our oddly similar favorite bands. You play me your guitar. It was much too surreal, how easily we clicked.. And it scared me. I knew where things were leading, and I wasn't completely comfortable going there. He saw my hesitation, but it did not stop him. And then the night came when he kissed me. It was halloween weekend and we were out dancing with friends. In that instant, all of my cynical beliefs on love, or really caring for another, completely disappeared.

I've never felt so happy, or excited to be with someone before. It was just so easy for us, so comfortable. Until his ex-girlfriend calls, exclaiming she wants to get back together, she really misses him. They had been together for 2 years, so I know she was a big part of his life. They had only just broken up a month before, and she also goes to school here in the city.. So a relationship would not be too hard to maintain.. He tells me it means nothing, it's just that she knows how to mess with his head. But, if she's still capable of messing with his head, that means she still has at least some of his heart.. right? Which makes me worried. I know it has only been a few weeks since we started hanging out, but with how things are going now, I would love to see those few weeks turn to months. I have never been so infatuated with someone that I was willing to get involved in a relationship, and risk the chance of getting hurt in the end.

The last thing I want is for him to be the confirmation of my prior beliefs– that boys are only made to disappoint.. I want him to be the exception, my exception.

- anonymous

40 comments:

  1. Oh so beautiful! I'll pray for youuu <3

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  2. Does this situation sounds pathethic? If yes, I am pathethic then because I dont have any love life yet. For the time being.

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  3. who is it who writes these storys? :-) Just wondering. Anyhow its such a sad situation... :'O wish her all the luck^^
    xx

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  4. I hope everything'll turn out okay :( all luck to you!

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  5. God, that is so sad. I've been through the same thing, and unfortunately it worked out for the ex. I sincerely hope that doesn't recur here. It is so hard to put yourself out there, and then to be hurt again...He's a n00b if he goes back!


    -Anna

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  6. go for it! i was in the exact same situation. i wasn't so lucky, they got back together. in the end, although our time together was short, it was so worth it.

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  7. the same situation happened with me, and it also turned out that it worked out for the ex in the end. but my time with the guy was really special and what we had was real. don't hold back just for this fear, if it's meant to be it will work out. i wish you the best!

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  8. i agree with Christina Rose <3 much love is sent, dont give up <3

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  9. Oh God.... when I started to read the Ex-girl part, dejá-vu o_o
    The exactly same thing happned to me :S Well in my case it didn't end well, we broke up. But I hope that in your case things go well.
    Your quote of "I want him to be my exception" it reminded me of the movie "He's not that into you".
    xoxox

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  10. Agree with previous, it reminded me of He's not that into you, but also of a song. The only exception by Paramore. It's a beautiful song.
    I wish you the best of luck!

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  11. Good story but this is written extremely poorly. You keep referring to him as you and then you switch to he. Idiot

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  12. She is young and scared. Give her a break!! You're going to pick on her writing ability? UGH.

    Anyway, he will probably go back to the ex if she is the one who broke up with him. It will be his fear (and ego) that leads him to this. He knows her. He will want the satisfaction of knowing it wasn't him, she made the mistake. And, guys side with comfort. He hasn't had the chance to establish any real feelings, "love", trust with you yet. Don't take it personal. It is timing.

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  13. wow this hits so close to home for me...I met him my freshman year in the dorms as well. The difference is i let my fear stand between us...and he did the same. It's one of my biggest regrets...I know it's scary but without going all in you'll never know what will happen; what's supposed to happen.

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  14. oh. i feel for u, know the feeling u know :(

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  15. OH I really hope everything will turn out fine..

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  16. He will always be the rule. No one is ever the exception. If you have a feeling he is going back to his ex, he will. Follow your intuition before you get hurt again.

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  17. Girl, whoever you are, good luck, truly <3

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  18. Hey, I think that you shouldn't over think it right now. Right now he likes and wants you , right? His girlfriend is a possibility but that doesn't mean he's just going to jump when she says jump. Enjoy your moments together and see if you can build the emotional attachment. There are always questions when you have a romance but you have to keep the faith that everything will work out for the best for you. Don't go and feel defeated because of one phone call. She may be in the same city but you are right across the hallway. Geography is in your favor... :)

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  19. My heart aches for you. In situations like that, we feel insecure because the longevity of their relationships is really long and we often think we're in a rebound relationship or we're the rebound girl/boy.

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  20. Hey everyone! wondering if you guys wanted to check out my blog and maybe be a follower? It's sorta like this xcept i get submissions about all sorts of things, i just transitioned over from a different blog site and now trying to get new followers and my old ones back:) check it out! <3

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  21. no worries this will goes well..:)

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  22. She IS the only exception... Faith, Hope and Love: Love being the most important. No Fear: Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all. T.O.E.<3

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  23. Okay, after reading the one month break up part, just make sure you're not some rebound to him. I mean, two years is a long time. Be sure he's really over his ex and not using for comfort, which he may not even realise he's doing until someone gets hurt etc. Or maybe I'm reading too much into this, either way, good luck.

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  24. Yes I'm going to pick on her writing ability because now that she knows, hopefully she can improve it. The 'idiot' part was uncalled for though so I apologise to the OP.

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  25. Wow I really connect with this i have have had a very similar pattern with love as this girl, whoever she is.. I wish her luck as us girls are not so fortunate with this, but she can never doubt what ever happens as long as she stands true to herself.. With love Daisy xo

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    www.aclassicfashiondiary.blogspot.com

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  27. You had me for the first paragraph. When I got to the line "And then I get to college," I could read no further. Live it up, girl. Stop trying to secure the "right" one while you are so young.

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  28. I appreciate your sentiment but it is only college. If this guy is someone that is really special he will be there for you no matter what but college is a totally life changing experience. You should take the time to focus on growing yourself instead of another boy's past problems. You will never get college back and it goes so fast!

    Please, don't do what I did. My college years were defined by a boy, ups and downs, even still, 6 years going.

    Open yourself up to all possibilities :)

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  29. OMG, i'm actually in the same position. When i read this, i saw myself in your words. I met this guy a month ago. We started hanging out and we kissed at a party halloween. Since then, we started seeing each other, but he is still texting his ex and everything. Im scared cause i never felt this way before and we're so comfortable together. I don't want him to be like the other one. You just put words to my mind. how did your story ended ?

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  30. really? i put $100 on the fact that she probably JUST watched "he's just not that into you." less television and more college my dear...

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  31. Id love some views on my stories. Just started out.

    mywaytofixme.blogspot.com

    -J

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  32. I was exactly like you. I didn't want anything to do with 'love' until I got to know him. I was in a similar situation and let it bother me and I became distant. Now he's with someone else. Trust him and good luck!

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  33. why when everything's perfect has to come an ex to screw it?

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  34. Really effective info, thanks so much for the post.

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