Tuesday, September 14, 2010

it's not you, it's me.


weheartit

You're beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me.

It's hard to fabricate lies when you don't want to make someone sad. When you really really like them...but not in that way. You can't just blatantly lie to them and pretend you love them...they're too beautiful for that. The thing is, they're also too beautiful to lie to. Too beautiful for you to hurt because you don't want to hurt them.You don't want to make them cry, to ruin their beauty by making them feel pain. The problem is...you can't not. You have to do one or the other......the pain...or the lies? Which is the best for them? Break their heart now.....or later. Later when they find out you never liked them like that. That when you kissed them you had to try you're hardest not to be disgusted because, yes they were beautiful but they weren't who you wanted. They were perfect but they just didn't have that special something. You don't want them to feel like it was their fault. Like they aren't perfect or beautiful. You want them to know that it's you. You're the one with the issue and you wish, wish that you could love them......but you can't. And it's killing you. You don't want it to be like that. You want to love being kissed by them. You want to lust after them. To give them your heart and soul.....but you simply just can't. You're incapable of feeling like that and it sucks. They're incredibly beautiful so beautiful that it hurts. And you can't hold back, you just have to tell them, you can't not. Because you know, you know deep down that this is for the best. That this is what you need to do and you do it. You don't want to and you despise yourself for it.....but you do it. You can't handle the pain that is shown upon this beautiful person so...you leave but just before you go you say those five dreaded words.....it's not you, it's me.

47 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. this is what i feel like people think when they try to think of me as someone they could be with. It hurts a lot, knowing that your best isn't good enough for someone to love. It is incredibly painful and makes me wonder what my fault is. Thank you for sharing this post.

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  3. This is equal to what I'm going through right now.

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  4. Wonderfully written. Simplicity of words yet complicated story. Exactly what I'm feeling.

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  5. Very well-written. Looking at the words and the photo, they reminded me my last time being with my ex-boyfriend. I held on to him the tightest I possibly could but at the end, when he still decided to go and said "it's not you, it's me", I know he is determined to let "us" go. It is still very painful but you have written beautifully what my ex had said to me that night.

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  6. A bit off topic: but is this picture from a movie?If so can any of you tell me which movie please?Thanks in advance.

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  7. Don't say 'it's not you, it's me.' Even if it's true. that shit causes rage black-outs. You're a lot better off saying the truth, which in this case is pretty much the entire post so to explain.

    It's a wonderful piece, beautiful.

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  8. Truth is, I don´t think it is the case that "you don´t want to spoil someone´s beauty" by ditching them. You just want to leave the situation looking good. Oh come on! Who the hell wants to walk out of a relationship with a huge DIRTBAG sign on their foreheads? When they say "it´s not you, it´s me" it´s a ridiculous lie. It should be "it´s not me, it is you. I can´t handle you. I can´t love you and it will be best for both of us to stop now before we kill each other violently." Speak the truth for once. You´re hurting the person either way, even if you´re sugar coating it. So, be honest with YOURSELF. Be coherent with your attitudes. Don´t be afraid to be an ass, because in the end of the day that´s what we all are... one way or another...

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  9. I'm afraid that my boyfriend feels like that about me , it sucks :'-(

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  10. I ve been feeling like that from recent break up, it hurts so bad I have the worst depression, he just erased me from his existence as if nothing ever happened.

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  11. Nabiha, just the fact that he makes you feel unsure about his feelings for you is a huge indicator that things are not well... Don´t wait for him to take a coward attitude and leave you saying "it´s not you, it´s me". Be the brave one and think what´s best for yourself. You don´t need to be in a relationship that makes you feel afraid of whatever...

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  12. Can´t see the photo!! why¿?

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  13. i love this so much. its exactly how i felt when i broke up with my boyfriend, its so true, but so hard to explain. i wish i could just show him this and try and make things as good as they were before we were together, but i dont think it would make things better. beautiful people like him deserve better, deserve to forget i ever happened.

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  14. Could have written this myself, I'm in the darkest place right now and can really relay to your feelings. This happened to me and my very first love. He is the best boy I've ever known, and he deserves someone great - someone better than me.

    At first, I loved him with all my heart, without ever telling him. His picture was in my mind, day and night. Then, as it turned out, he had grown the same feelings for me, and one night I'll never forget we kissed under a starlit sky. It had never existed a more perfect moment in my life and my whole body exploded in a bright light as he smiled into my heart and stole it. We had the most blissfull months together, I had never been in love before and couldn't believe it, couldn't believe that it was so strong, in every vain and every breathe, I felt him. In every dream he was there. But then something changed between us. And I tried to fight it, I did for so long, didn't wanted to see. But I have never been able to lie to him, I care too much, so at last I had no other option than telling him.
    And it burns so much to know that you hurt the person you - still - care about the most. Love is a fragile thing. And when it goes away, there's really nothing you can do to stop it. It's not your fault, and it's not the other ones fault either. It just hurts. And I blame myself so much, I don't know what to do. Does it ever end? I feel so lonely in this, nobody seems to understand. You're two in a breakup, I want to scream. It hurts for both.

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  15. Wow is all i can say, well written

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  16. THANK YOU! Thats exactly how i felt when i dated a boy. I liked him very much, but i just did'nt love him. That broke us both.

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  17. Were going trough this...
    I was the one, that was pretending.
    after month I broke up with him.
    I don't think he got over, even after 8 months.
    I think most important after all that is not giving the person second chance.
    My ex were trying to get me back. It's so hard to tell no, feeling fault all the time.
    Last time we were talking in real life after broke up I was trying to explain him, that we are to different and I don't know him. He told "You were not trying to know me". And you know what sucks? It was true.

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  18. o my god, this is was i've been feeling for the past 6 months. the most beautiful boy in the world, he is everything, fantastic & perfect. he says im the one for him - but he's not the one for me.
    :(

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  19. sad.. love this blog.

    / http://pepprat.blogspot.com/

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  20. think that was how my ex felt about me at the end.

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  21. Wow, this is probably one of my favorites on here. Absolutely beautiful

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  22. This post is lovely. In the end there is nothing wrong with her or you. Love just left the door.

    xo
    la-passion-life.blogspot.com

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  23. this year i met a friend and we started to hang out LIKE FRIENDS, but then things changed, we kissed but then he confessed that he was talking with a girl that he was dating in the past, and things were weird between us... i wanted to clear everything and i wanted to talk to him but he ingored me, and now he is dating with the girl... in front of me and my friends (they didnt knew about us)... and now im suffering a lot, because he only stopped talking me without any explanation... and i felt identified with this... maybe he just like me but love me not.

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  24. Such a sad post..
    I've been through that.
    Best of luck to you.

    Lola
    xo

    http://loveloladoll.blogspot.com/

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  25. I can't believe how similar this is to my situation. I feel exactly the same way about my boyfriend and cannot bear to let him know. I continue to suffer in silence. I don't want him to fall apart. Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one.

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  26. i love this post so much, totally speaks of what i'm going through

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  27. Anyone that feels like this is a monster. You can NOT LEAD SOMEONE ON you have to break it off in the very very beginning. If there is anticipated pain on the other side, YOU AND YOU ALONE HAVE LEAD THAT PERSON ON. And for that.... for that... you are a MONSTER.

    And that's all there is to it.

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  28. ugh...this is SO who i am.

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  29. That's exactly what is going on in my life right now!...

    And tonight is the night I must say these words to someone... And I hate that!

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  30. this is exactly what i just heard from the man that i love. and it is impossibly difficult for me to understand. because he did love me. we did talk about getting married. and then within the last year, it was gone. i was left head over heels for someone who needed to let me go. heartbroken.

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  31. This is sadly what I'm going through. She just wants to be friends cause Im a great friend, she doesnt want to be in any relationship right now, she doesnt see me in that way, she wants what she wants. Yet we spend so much time together, we spend hours on the phone every night, I'm her first call when leaving work, texting off & on all day. She loves talking with me & hanging out together though she has a best friend & other friends to talk to, I seem to be on her mind the majority of the time & Im the one she calls. And yes, I got the 'Its not you, Its me speech! It sucks! Anyway, loved this and thank you for writing it.

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  32. Though it seems like we're the villain in the story to end such a beautiful scene, lies will always be a lie.

    Thanks for this post!
    This is exactly what I wanna say :>

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  33. At some point in our lives , we're all going to go through this. Whether we're the ones who can't love them, or they're the ones who never loved us. The truth is, we don't go into relationships knowing the future. You may hit it off great at the beginning but gradually realise that something core is missing. Or maybe even actually fall in love with the person, but having that feeling fade. No one is at fault. These things simply happen. Not all relationships break down due to raging infidelity or dramatic arguments. Sometimes all it takes is that lack, or loss of something.

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  34. Heather, thank you oh so much. Really, your words helped me. And to be so wise and objective when you're been through this incredible painful thing, to still se it from his point of view, that's something to look up to. Just by reading that comment I know that you must be an incredible intelligent and beautiful person. You will find love again, I believe that what you give is what you get in return. And you seem like a giver. I hope for you!

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  35. I just had to end it with someone who I had a similar problem with. We had broken up and been broken up for about 3 weeks, then got back together on the basis that we'd missed each other too much and that we could make it work. The after a few days reality hit me and I realised I no longer felt the same about him and that it would never work, no matter how badly I still wanted him. It was hard feeling so doubtful and different to how he was feeling. But it had to be ended cos it was killing me, and it killed me knowing i was essentially lying to him whilst he was all happy in love.
    I miss him but it was for the best. No point wasting time on something that doesn't feel 100% right.

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  36. Too beautiful to be true.

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  37. Oh my god, this is like i've written it, exacly my life at the moment. THANK YOU

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  38. I just had to tell a girl this a week ago. It hurts like hell, but it's better to do it before it gets worse. And sometimes you want the person so bad, but you just know it's not happening on a deeper level. I've done this a couple times, just starting a relationship and realizing it's not there. I've gotten worse with how attached i let it get before sensing the real situation, but better at how to approach it. I'm still not able to say exactly what I want to when the moment comes. Do any of you girls have advice at how best to approach this?

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  39. Could I see myself more in this text? I dont think so.
    hate it when you really want that person to be that special someone, cause they´re perfect. But it´s not just there...the "it" is missing. Havn`t felt "it" for three years now. Think i´m broken or something. The last "it" person was my friend´s ex...so that did´nt work out. Yeah I suck...still love him though

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  40. Thanks a lot for your advice guys, it helped me a lot, I went to www.saveabreakup.com and followed their step by step instructions and it worked perfectly, now me and my girlfriend are back together.

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  41. I was able to get my ex back after I followed the instructions at www.saveabreakup.com I totally recommend this site, saveabreakup.com helped me a lot, all I can say is big THANKS!!! I'm so happy now...

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  42. This is bullshit. Stop pretending you want to be with this person and they are beautiful. If you can't lust after them,it is clear you don't even find them remotely attractive. You talk about honesty, yet you couldn't even be honest with this post. But ultimately, with yourself.

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  43. Hi, I recently broke up with bf 5 week ago and i missed him so much, he said he just doesnt have feelings for on anymore but the day we broke up , he kissed me. And i think he is leaving me cause he thinks i have high requirement and that he doesn’t deserve me.
    He is very good at controlling his emotions and just for me he will not get back with me cause he think i can do better. But he didn’t seem to understand that i love him only.
    I understand that I have no chance for get him back in normal way, and I decided to ask for help. I order love spell from website http://magical-rituals.com , I was waiting 3 months, and my lover back to me.

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