Sunday, September 12, 2010

long distance


I met my boyfriend when I was at vacation. At that time I had no idea that this man were going to be the love of my life.

I went to Chile with my family in January. I couldn't wait to see my friend and when I finally met him, he was with he's best friend.

We were talking a lot, but his friend was very shy. I was curious at him and begun to ask questions about him. I could barely hear what he said, and i'm not that quiet girl so I find it hard to talk with shy people. But I get to know this man better.

It begun to be late so we went back to our houses. I logged into Facebook and saw a friend request from him. I accepted and he was online and we begun to talk, very much. He said he wanted to meet me the next day, and so we did.

We went to a park and were just sitting at a bench talking. Or, I was talking and he listening. He didn't say much, just like the other day. I started to get nervous for a awkward moment, so I was honest and said to him that he need to talk more. He just laughed and begun to talk.

After that day we begun to go to same park, the same bench everyday to just talk. After a week I begun to realize that i'm about to get feelings for him. How could I be so stupid to feel something for him? I live in Norway, he lives in Chile. It is impossible to have relationship with this distance. But i couldn't stop thinking about him, and the next day when we sat on the bench, we kissed for the first time. I had the best feeling inside my body and it felt so right. But now i'm thinking that all maybe was a mistake.

One day Lucho asked me if I wanted to spend the night at a apartment that he borrowed from a friend, and I said yes. That night we made love. It was a intense moment that I will never forget.
Two hours later we woke up because the floor were shaking. Everything was shaking, and when I thought that the earthquake would stop, it only got worse and I was very scared. He held his arms around me while he said "relax honey, just relax. It will stop". Thank God that nothing happened to us or our families.

When it stopped, we ran out from the block and to the street. Everything was dark and everyone was at the streets looking for friends and families. 27th of February is a date I will never forget. And from that date, we were together, as boyfriend and girlfriend.

I had to leave the country in March. It was hard to say good bye, but we knew that we would see eachother again, because I said that i'm going to buy a flight for him for July to August. The time we were separated, we were spending almost all the nights talking at phone and Facebook. I went home from school, slept and woke up at the night to talk with him. I've done that until now.

When we finally met, it was a fantastic time. We spend every single day loving eachother more and more. When he had to leave, it was so hard. I cried and cried at the airport. If I knew that this maybe would be the last time I saw him, I wouldn't let him leave. But I didn't. We talked about this. We said that this time it would be more tough to be separated from eachother. And it is.

The next week i'm going to buy a flight for him, so he can spend December to March with me.
But yesterday Lucho said he can't live without me. And he said he is going to study and work in March. That means that he won't have time to talk with me, and that means that we must break up. He also sent me a message and said that I deserve better, that I deserve a man who lives near me. I cried my heart out. I feel like I don't have a soul.

This nine months have been the most beautiful months of my life. I love my life because of him, and i'm so happy to be he's girlfriend. And I won't give up. Never.

I have the chance to move to my grandparents in he's neighbourhood. I'm also thinking that maybe the right thing to do is to let go, for some years. Because I will never stop loving this man, and I know that it is meant to be us, so I will wait all the time that is necessary so we can be together forever. He will study for three years, and that's three years i'm willing to wait.

I want to call him and say this to him, but he says he needs time to think. But what if he thinks too much? What if he decides that it will be better to go ours lives separated? I won't let him think that. But I want help to choose the right thing to do. So I ask you. What should I do?


  1. Oh girl, i'm soo terribly sorry for that. I really know what you're feeling. Because i'm in the same situation even if the girl i love lives near me. but she doesent seem to know, what she wants so it's kinda difficult for me to understand what to do. i think the best is, you're telling him exactly what you think and what you feel. then you just have to wait to see what's he answering. i know your heart could be broken with his answer, but you cannot do anything else.

    i wish you all the best.

  2. This makes me so sad. Love is something extremely hard. I'm 14, and I live in Australia. If I fell in love with a girl from half way across the world, intensely, I wouldn't do anything to give it up. If you have a deep passion for this man, never give up on love. Never. But you never know what Lucho will do. He might fall in love with his work, another woman you never know. Think it through. But if you're willing to wait for three years, after these 9 months of intense love, then do it near him. See him everyday, so your love never fades.

    I've been following your blog for quite some time now. Don't give up.

  3. Girl. I feel so sorry for you. But the best thing to do is to not talk to him. It's the hardest part. But do not write him or text him or chat w him. He knows what you feel right?
    He will come back if you just let him breathe for a long while.
    So be strong. Do your thing, while waiting for him. Do what makes you happy,, travel. And try to be happy. He will come back.
    good luck.<3

  4. There is no point waiting for something that isn't going to happen. Honestly, it is better to now and be disappointed than to wait around and always wonder. Therefore my advice is to plunge head first into the deep end and tell this man how you feel. Tell him that you don't want anyone else but him and that you are willing to move across the world just to be close to him.

    There is nothing worse than having your heart broken, but then again holding on when it is time to let go hurts just as much. Listen to your heart, but be smart enough to use your mind.

    goodluck xo

  5. This isn't an easy situation. I'm also going through something like that. It's hard. We wonder what to do, and really we can - only wait.
    Hugs from Poland. Monia.


  7. I'm in a long distance relationship myself, he's from another country too and I have to travel by train for 6 hours to meet him, so we only see each other in holidays. But we phone (skype) or chat each day and I sometimes visit him even though he is busy studying. It worked out for two and a half years now (I'm 19) and after I finished school this year I will move to him. I would say it's definitely worth it. Or how Marylin Monroe put it: "Anything worth having is worth waiting for!" :)

  8. Well ... you can say , we're in the same situation , my boyfriend lives so far away , and it tears me apart even to think 'bout it , but the only thing we can do is waitin' =(
    He'll start workin' , I'll start studyin' , both of us we'll be busy with his own life , like You and Lucho , you just have to live your life and see what will happens .

  9. If he's worth your sacrifices, then wait for him.

  10. i too am in the same situation, my boyfriend lives in the middle of the States and I live in Sweden. Time change sucks and we are both busy during the days so talking is difficult. We met at college 8 months ago when he was doing his exchange semester. I knew the whole time he of course wasn't going to be staying here, and only here for five months, but if you can agree on an end to the long distance, like say in three years for you, same for us, it makes it a lot easier. In a year he is moving back to Europe and in three I will move to him wherever in Europe he is. In two months I am going to see him for Thanksgiving. It's complicated, it might feel impossible, but if you can agree on what you want to do, together, you can make it. My friends ask me how hard it is, not feeling "warmth" for such a long time. They don't understand... i dont want anyone else. I know he is it for me. And he knows it too. Good luck girl!!!

  11. good luck girl:) i hope for the best to you and i hope you will be together with him:)

  12. do it. tell him what you told us.
    don't let him start thinking that you should break up "forever"...
    hope you have a great life with this man:)
    and remember, no matter what happens, it happens for a reason.
    always think of that:)

  13. Love is sacrifice but from both sides,
    in todays world one can not say-dont expect just give, its give & take.

  14. I am in the same situation almost. My boyfriend moved to scotland to study and i am living in finland. We desided that we would still be together and that we would visit each other as much as we can.
    Now that he is living there he said to me, that he can't live without me, and he wants me to move there.
    He would wait so long that he has to, to get to be with me.
    I had a long time that i didn't know what to do, but now i've desided that if im most happy when i'm with him, then i should move there.
    So i think you should do what makes you happy.

  15. My husband and I started out as an ldr when I was 15. We did this for 10 years before we finally moved him here to Australia (he was from the US). Over 20 hours by plane.

    There were times I wanted to give up, he fought for me. There were times he wanted to give up, I fought for him. It was so incredibly difficult being apart and having to say goodbye at the airport every time.

    All I can say is that you open your heart to him and tell him how much you love him. Tell him it can and does work out if you work and work towards it. The rest is up to him.

  16. I really, really, really hate a situation like this. 'cause is impossible to understand why a boy seduces a girl ( in a good meaning,) do she fells deeply in love and then leaves her. Damn it. I guess you need to tell him that he is inconsequent like a teenager, that he is making you suffer because the lacking of self-confidence of him. Tell him you love him, that you will do everything to stay with him. But if he continues with his lack of maturity to say something significant for you, kick him. You deserves a grown up man to stay with you.

  17. I am in a pretty similar situation as you. I am studying with 3 more years till graduation, plus 3 years working bond after, that gives me 6 more years till I can be with my bf.

    It was tough at the beginning, just like you and Lucho. There were many times we wanted to leave each other because we thought it would be the best for the both of us. But we love each other and over time, although it has only been over a year, the distance made us stronger. We are willing to wait and help each other overcome any insecurities and second thoughts that comes with LDRs.

    If you let him know how you feel, and if he feels the same way towards you, it can work out.

    Sometimes I think LDRs are actually the best form of relationships. It tests the strength of your love and how much both parties are willing to give, take and trust. And everyone gets enough space and time to do their own things (:

    Good luck to you I hope it works out!

  18. Jeg var utvekslingsstudent i fjor og møtte verdens fineste gutt. Nå som jeg er hjemme er alt slutt, men jeg savner ham hver eneste dag og det gjør så vondt.

    Håper alt ordner seg:)

  19. OMG!!!

    This is exactly how my relationship is. Long distance. I will study for three years, he will be working (and is now in the military). I met him when I was on vacations and from that day I haven't been with anybody else.

    crazy. We're still going strong, even after 14 months. I'm going to book a ticket to Greece (where he lives) today, to go and see him in November.

    This is amazing, and I hope everything turns out good for you! Me and my boyfriend have also talked about breaking up and spend one, two years apart. We know we will meet again someday in the future. Our love will never die. We're not tired of each other, we're just a little bit tired of the situation sometimes. But we love each other and so far so good. I'm positive!


  20. why don't you, if you're able, go and live with your grandparents for a while and see what happens ? If you don't take this chance you will regret yourself and think "what if" all your life. take this chance. (I'm sorry if it isn't spelled correctly, I'm swedish and tired...)

  21. All the best. I sincerely hope that everything would work out for the both of you <3

  22. I'm in the exact same situation, and it'll be this way for four years. I'm wondering the exact same things. I don't have any advice, but now you have one more person you can add to the list of people to sympathize with. *hug*

  23. Don't let him is the most important feeling in life...fight! Good luck.

  24. i´m from Chile. he is in love with u, but he wants something more for u, because he knows this is a hard situation, think the thing well, don´t do anything until talk to him, and find a solution together, he loves u, u love him. the distance is nothing when the love is bigger.

  25. This is beautiful. True love is hard to find, so do not give up and fight for it until the end. I was in the same boat as you, in love with a wonderful guy and he was in love with me. We both knew we wanted to be with each other just at that time in our lives it wasn't right. So he did his thing, and I did mine. Knowing we would both come together at the end of the day. He ended up passing away about a month ago. So i'm telling you life is too short. Do not wait until tomorrow, or next week or next month. Be with the one you love every single second you can get.

  26. Du som har skrevet dette, du er fra Norge, ikke sant? Ja, jeg vil bare si at jeg er akkurat i samme situasjon som deg! Jeg møtte drømme gutten min i sommerferien, og han bor i Italia. Jeg får så vondt inni meg når jeg tenker på avstanden, jeg vil så gjerne være i hans armer nå og bare tilbringe dagene mine med han... Jeg savner han noe helt sykt! Men som du sier, både jeg og han har mye å gjøre på skolen, mye å jobbe med.

    Det er så rart, for alt det du skrev der, er akkurat det samme jeg tenker og føler. Hvis du vil snakke, legg meg til på facebook! :) Nicole G. Kotseva. Håper du ser denne kommentaren her. Det hadde vært fint å få snakket med noen som er i samme situasjon!

  27. My boyfriend and I were also in a similar situation for a long time. In the end, I decided to take the plunge and attend university only a few hours away from his, as opposed to days away.

    Are you willing to take the leap, or are you both willing to wait it out? Either way, if it is meant to be, all will be well in the end.

    My best of wishes to you, dear. I understand your pain.

  28. For six months I lived your story, travelled back and forth to Mexico, he to Sweden, even if it was only for a week or two. I stayed up every single night to talk to him for an hour or two and we just knew that we were crazy in love and no matter the odds we would try everything, literally everything, to make it work. We had met under the most coincidental circumstances and somehow we always knew that it was a dream too good to be true. And I guess it really was. Yeah sure people end up marrying the guy they meet on their vacation half way around the world, but those are the exceptions, not the rule. I realized somewhere along the way that this amazing person that I had fallen in love with deserved better than someone who 99% of the time was only a blurry slowly moving picture on his computer screen. I didn’t want to let go but I didn’t want to quit everything here at home and just leave to live in Mexico even though I couldn’t bear not spending every second with him. Maybe it was only because I didn’t dare to risk it, but I ended it with him a month ago and although it still hurts I know that we’ll both be happy with someone on the right side of the Atlantic.

  29. I met my wife one day before I went overseas. We wrote letters for months, I came home and married her - it's now more than 29 years later of happy marriage. It does happen! (of course, it also takes a lot of work).

    - David

    Aloe Vera 101
    Holistic Health Info.

  30. o my girl o my !
    just like the others my heart goes out to you
    being in love is rare and finding that one is too
    but also sometimes in life you have to let go
    you and Lucho will always be lovers of eachothers lifetime
    but maybe...just maybe this was a love and let go for you
    maybe god wanted you to know how it feels to love so the next time when you do love... you'll know
    good luck girl good luck <3

  31. I can´t stop crying. This is so beautiful.
    Love shouldn't be hard, it's so unfair. I know exactly the panic you feel right now, that you think he are going to end it. I really know how you feel, and the worst thing is that you can't do anything about it. Just tell him how you really feel. Exactly how you feel. And then, if he feels the same way, he wont leave you.

    I wish you the best. Hugs from Sweden!

  32. I wish you all the best.

  33. I am in a long distance relationship. I could have made a choice to study in his city or do it my way. I've chosen to do it my way. Although, its freaking difficult, we are the happiest people in the world. We are just 2h of flight apart, and soon he will come to spend 3 weeks with me... I just know that you should never give up on your dreams... if moving to Chile means that for 3 years you will be just loving him and doing nothing productive with your life, do not do this. you will regret it. Go for it, if you can work or study there... I was watching my friend crying every morning and thinking that her boyfriend was a jerk and all of that just because she was stuck in his country, with no prespectives. she was bored and she was overthinking her relationship. Fortunately they work the things out. good luck.

  34. I'm from Chile and I can´t read and speak English very well... but, I can say, fight for he, don´t give up, just don't give up.

    please, you can, don't give up.

  35. You need to back off. Give him a chance to miss you or you'll have no hoping of him feeling the same way you do. He needs to realize that you're a precious thing that is in jeopardy, who could potentially meet someone else at any moment, and that he might lost you forever. If you're always around waiting for him, he'll continue to string you alone and take you for granted.

  36. Ask him if he's willing to wait for you and if he does, wait and love because every single moment should be lived as if it was the last one.

    I wish you the best

  37. in ldr, time, space n independence is important. give both of u a certain time to think abt it agn. do what your heart tells u to, fight for things u think is worth fighting for. even if all fails, u'll still live w no regrets. it's a 2 way thing, talk things through, communication n understanding is the only way to get through situations. all the best.:)

  38. i cried to read this.coz i have foreign boyfriend too and he and me are in own country now. he is not in here.
    we dont know when we can meet next that's why i cryied seem to die in front of him at our last night. now,he and me talk at face book or yahoo messanger chat.
    honeslty,im crying everynight without him..;)

    i dont know what to tell to u. i cant advice to u well..
    but i wanna u trust n believe yourself and him.

    i support you!

    ps/im sorry coz my english is no good..but im glad if u can understand it..thank you.

    from Japan.

  39. let him go. if he wants to be with you he'll back.

  40. This is kindof like the situation I'm in. We are 11 hours apart and has been doing ld for 5 months. In 6 weeks time he'll come and see me for 2 weeks which I'm ecstatic about but I worry when we will meet again after that...Tell him how you feel and listen to how he feels. Talk it through with him. xox

  41. All you can do is let the person know that you love him, that you want to be with him, and do everything you can to stay with him. If that doesn't work all you can do is let him go if that's what he wants. If the relationship is meant to be it eventually will be. That person will find his way back to you at some point if the love is there and it's meant to be. If not, there is someone else out there for you. Sometimes it's good to be alone for a while. You learn more about yourself and grow as a person. You will have more to offer that person if he comes back to you or a new relationship down the road. :)

  42. Flytt til Chile og se hva som skjer! :)

  43. if it's really meant to be, it'll happen. the boy i will always love is in the navy and i only get to see him about once a year so i know how you feel. Create a life of your own outside of him. This doesnt mean giving up on him, it just means it may be better not to move just yet. give yourself some time and if he really loves you like he says he does, then he'll wait too.

  44. As they say : what was made to be yours, them it will be ;)
    Fight for him, fight for this love!
    Good Lucky! <3

  45. Hopp i det, grip sjangsen! Det er så mye bedre å våge - for tenk om du aldri finner ut om det kunne være dere for resten av livet. Bare gjør det :)

  46. omg.. i feel this.. the love of my life lives in chile too and I'm from Mexico.. I can't say long distance relationships work or not.. just follow your heart :)
    be happy

  47. you only meet a soulmate once, keep it as long as you can, because wherever it ends, you won't regret the moments spent.

  48. Yours is a true love story, it could be one from here..!

    I hope you find the path of true love

  49. you can learn the difference between "he's" and "his"

  50. Oh shame sweetie,
    Thats such a heart breaking story and I really feel for you.

    The only advice I think anyone can give is that you follow your own heart and do all you can so that at the end of the day you're able to say you have no regrets. No matter the outcome ;)

    I wish you all the best of luck and wisdom in this matter of the heart.

    Your posts are beautiful!


  51. Just finish everything you have to do in Norway, like your studies or school. Then, when you're both still totally in love, you could move to Chile to live with your grandparents. But not just for him, also for yourself because you want to. Get a job or something there and spend time with him. If you two keep loving eachother I'd say you should stay in Chile. If the love ends, you can move back to Norway or stay in Chile, whatever you want!

  52. Hey girl, don't give up. I've been in a long distance relantionship for almost 2 years now (I'm from Brazil, he's from Germany), and we see each other 2 or 3 times for year, when we spend a month together. It's not easy (not at all!), but I can tell you it's worthy. He studies (Master degree - yes, busy!), and me too (Law!). We don't have time to talk to each other everyday, but we happen to write each other every single day. He's more part of my life then many people who are close to me. He's considering working in Brazil until I graduate, or I could go to Germany to spend 6 months studying, and both options are possible. If you two want it, you'll find a way for it. Trust me!:)

  53. I live in Sweden, my boyfriend in Australia. I haven't seen him since may, and won't see him until hopefully new years but perhaps not until june next year.

    We have had numerous fights during the summer, we have given up so many times. Only to realize we can't there's no other way to live than together. I am still young, and I always imagined myself "living life to the fullest" until I am at least 25, but life doesn't always work out the way you imagine it to, does it?

    To start with, my friends said just forget about him. It's too hard. But i ignored their advice, cause I believe in unconditional love. Now, they no longet try to stop me, they just ask me how I can do it. And the answer is, i just simply know he is the one. I think back now to our first (sober) kiss when he told me he liked me, and the feeling in my stomach. I knew right there and then this was something special.
    This makes it all worth it.

    If you have that gut feeling he is the one, he probably is. I don't know yet myself if this really is gonna work out, but it's worth a shot isn't it?
    Good luck.

  54. eres joven, hazlo, ¿qué puedes perder? el terremoto de febrero pudo separarlos, pero no, pueden darse un tiempo, pueden separarse por completo, pero la mejor opción es intentarlo, puedes perder lo mismo en las 3 opciones, pero con esta también puedes ganar (:
    saludos desde chile

  55. Kjære deg, jeg forstår så alt for godt. Min andre halvdel er i New Zealand, og jeg har ikke sovet 8 timer i strekk siden han dro, fordi jeg aldri vil legge på. Det er så tungt og hjerteskjærende og vanskelig å elske noen tusener av mil borte, men jeg tror det er enda verre å gi opp og bruke resten av livet på å tenke "hva om?". Ring ham og forklar hva du føler, snakk igjennom hva du mener mulighetene er; å slå opp, langdistanseforhold, du der, han her, eller du der i noen år og så dere sammen her i noen år - hva som helst, uansett hvor umulig det høres ut, snakk igjennom det som en realistisk mulighet og finn ut av det sammen.

    Lykke til, kjære!

  56. Oh, long distance love... It really is a bitch, isn't it?

  57. hey, i know its hard
    i also fell in love at the age of 16 while on vacation i went to Ecuador for 6 months and meet the love of my life (i live in Canada and hes from Ecuador but lives in the Ukriane )i know how you feel your friends telling you to just forget ...its not easy not listen to them but its also not easy to love one so far away...i spent 4 years of my life lovingso one that was so far away and it sucked to have him far and see all my friends around me happy with there boyfriends right there ... unfortunately i was unlucky with the whole long distance and our relationship failed not because we didnt love each other but because as individuals we grow and the more time you spend apart the harder it is .... after nearly waiting 4 long years to see him, we saw each other and things were no longer the same .... and now i look back a realize that i spent 4 years for something that now is no longer mine ... it hurts but its always nice to look back and be able to say yes i feel in love and he was someone very special to me and that the love i had for him there will always be there ... because you can never forget the love you have for a person ... so fight for him now.. dont wait 3 years to see him.. its to much time away no matter how many times a day you may talk, you need that closeness in order to keep things going... simple things like a kiss in the morning, a huge when they have a bad day .... looking into there eyes ... as humans we need that ...

  58. I have the same problem as you, I love him and he loves me a lot, we'r like twin souls, but we live in diferent cities that are very far from each other. We talk everyday, but its hard to study while i'm thinking of him each second, we spent 1 year in this situacion, i really love him but our studies are more important to our future, so you should say what you want to do and leave this for a while,then you'd be able to concentrate much more better in your studies and personal life, you can see each other after this time, and nothing would change, you just have to freeze this time and then take it again.

  59. I live a different country from the love of my life since 3 years now. He doesn't know that I still love him because I never had the courage to tell him. I'm so proud of you being able to believe so strongly in your love for him. :)

  60. i love someone who lives so far away. i live in indonesia and he lives in canada. we havent even met face to face. we only talk and share picture on yahoo messenger. he said he loves me but he never shows up and reach me, its been 3 years. he said he dont know when he woll see me and sometimes i think its bcos he doesnt love me. but still i love him anyway. he will never understand my feeling, i know. but this stupid girl is still waiting for him. so for you, i guess you better follow what your heart says. that is the highest truth. at least you are more lucky then me right? i never touched the one i love :)

  61. One of the most interesting and worth reading blog I read.

  62. Hei, søte deg!
    Tårene bare triller når jeg leser historien din, og jeg håper virkelig det går bra med deg og Lucho!

    Jeg kjenner meg så igjen. Kjæresten min bor i Belgia, jeg i Norge. Jeg har aldri møtt ham, men jeg vet at han er den rette. Ingen kjenner meg bedre enn ham, og ingen har fått meg til å føle slik jeg føler når jeg er med ham.

    Han har planlagt en tur til neste jul (altså, om 11 måneder), så vi får se om vi er sterke nok til å vente. Har kjent han i et år snart, og det har vært både det beste og det verste året i mitt liv. Det er hardt, men det er verdt det.

    Håper du har fortalt han hvordan du føler, og at det går bra med deg.

    Det finnes dager da jeg bare vil gi opp, men jeg vet jeg aldri vil finne noen bedre enn ham.

    Vær sterk, det ender nok bra om det var ment til å være dere. Klemmer fra Bergen!

  63. I suppose one and all should browse on it.


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