Sunday, September 12, 2010

long distance


I met my boyfriend when I was at vacation. At that time I had no idea that this man were going to be the love of my life.

I went to Chile with my family in January. I couldn't wait to see my friend and when I finally met him, he was with he's best friend.

We were talking a lot, but his friend was very shy. I was curious at him and begun to ask questions about him. I could barely hear what he said, and i'm not that quiet girl so I find it hard to talk with shy people. But I get to know this man better.

It begun to be late so we went back to our houses. I logged into Facebook and saw a friend request from him. I accepted and he was online and we begun to talk, very much. He said he wanted to meet me the next day, and so we did.

We went to a park and were just sitting at a bench talking. Or, I was talking and he listening. He didn't say much, just like the other day. I started to get nervous for a awkward moment, so I was honest and said to him that he need to talk more. He just laughed and begun to talk.

After that day we begun to go to same park, the same bench everyday to just talk. After a week I begun to realize that i'm about to get feelings for him. How could I be so stupid to feel something for him? I live in Norway, he lives in Chile. It is impossible to have relationship with this distance. But i couldn't stop thinking about him, and the next day when we sat on the bench, we kissed for the first time. I had the best feeling inside my body and it felt so right. But now i'm thinking that all maybe was a mistake.

One day Lucho asked me if I wanted to spend the night at a apartment that he borrowed from a friend, and I said yes. That night we made love. It was a intense moment that I will never forget.
Two hours later we woke up because the floor were shaking. Everything was shaking, and when I thought that the earthquake would stop, it only got worse and I was very scared. He held his arms around me while he said "relax honey, just relax. It will stop". Thank God that nothing happened to us or our families.

When it stopped, we ran out from the block and to the street. Everything was dark and everyone was at the streets looking for friends and families. 27th of February is a date I will never forget. And from that date, we were together, as boyfriend and girlfriend.

I had to leave the country in March. It was hard to say good bye, but we knew that we would see eachother again, because I said that i'm going to buy a flight for him for July to August. The time we were separated, we were spending almost all the nights talking at phone and Facebook. I went home from school, slept and woke up at the night to talk with him. I've done that until now.

When we finally met, it was a fantastic time. We spend every single day loving eachother more and more. When he had to leave, it was so hard. I cried and cried at the airport. If I knew that this maybe would be the last time I saw him, I wouldn't let him leave. But I didn't. We talked about this. We said that this time it would be more tough to be separated from eachother. And it is.

The next week i'm going to buy a flight for him, so he can spend December to March with me.
But yesterday Lucho said he can't live without me. And he said he is going to study and work in March. That means that he won't have time to talk with me, and that means that we must break up. He also sent me a message and said that I deserve better, that I deserve a man who lives near me. I cried my heart out. I feel like I don't have a soul.

This nine months have been the most beautiful months of my life. I love my life because of him, and i'm so happy to be he's girlfriend. And I won't give up. Never.

I have the chance to move to my grandparents in he's neighbourhood. I'm also thinking that maybe the right thing to do is to let go, for some years. Because I will never stop loving this man, and I know that it is meant to be us, so I will wait all the time that is necessary so we can be together forever. He will study for three years, and that's three years i'm willing to wait.

I want to call him and say this to him, but he says he needs time to think. But what if he thinks too much? What if he decides that it will be better to go ours lives separated? I won't let him think that. But I want help to choose the right thing to do. So I ask you. What should I do?
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