Monday, August 30, 2010

pick me


You have always been ambitious and i love that about you. Your only 20 but you have already started up your own business and it is doing so well, i couldn't be more proud to call you my boyfriend. and you know that, i helped you set it up. i came up with the name , and i did all the design and advertising for it.

i understand owning your own business , especially when your so young is stressful and you have to work a lot, i try and make it easier for you by helping out as much as i can. i make dinner for you , do your washing and clean your house when you've been too busy .. the list goes on and on.
But one thing that upsets me , is that sometimes you work when you don't have too.. Your mum calls you a workaholic , and id agree. although i didn't think it was a bad thing. Until i started feeling less and less important. and realised that in the last 6 months , Ive been finding myself up the mountain, staring at the ocean alone, our little place we used to go every week at least once and walk the dogs.

Ive told you about this, we have even had fights over it. How your work always comes first and how i always have to wait till everything is done before i even get a "hey babe how are you'. But you always say sorry and tell me you don't mean too and your gonna start leaving work related issues behind when the doors close at 5 o'clock. i always believe you, cause i love you and i want to take your word for it.

But then things like tonight happen : i ask if you would like to have dinner with me and my parents at 7. you say yes although you have a few things to do before hand but you'll be there.. great, I'm excited.

its then 7 and your not here, i call you and you say your still working and you'll be another hour, but your so sorry and you'll make it up to me.

its now 8.53 and your still not here. Me and my parents have already eaten. i go to call you to ask where the hell you are. and my mum tells me to stop nagging you, your busy and you'll come when your ready.

Why is it OK for you to always let me down and put work before me . Why doesn't everyone else see how frustrating it is to have to fight for your own boyfriends attention .

i love you , but just once i want you to forget about work and dedicate one night to me. i don't think its too much to ask.

is it?

Please, pick me. i'm tired of waiting.

♥ Claud


  1. i'm in a similar situation where the boyfriend is extremely dedicated to his career.

    i have to remind myself that love can always wait. and if he doesn't put you first, then do it yourself. focus on yourself, do what you've got to do, and the good will follow.

    it'll be hard, but love is wonderfully complicated. nothing worthwhile is ever easy.

  2. Darling, what are you worth? Let Esmeralda tell you -- you are only worth the value you place on yourself. If you decide to put up with this shoddy treatment then that's what you'll get, in this relationship and every subsequent relationship until you figure out that you're worth much, much more.

    If you were 3 weeks in the answer might be different. But you know, and Esmeralda knows, that this is a pattern of behavior. You get what you settle for. Don't sell yourself so short.
    Esmeralda tells you truly -- if you walk away from this person he will pursue you with hearts and flowers and promises to do better. As soon as you're back in line, that will end again. If you like the drama of it all, then this is what you should do!
    But if you're truly looking for Love -- do yourself a favor. Walk away and don't look back. It is the best insurance policy that you will never settle ever again for less than you deserve.
    Blessings E

  3. this photograph speaks so many words.. i love it!

  4. This is such a sad piece.

    I hope you find the courage to pull through with the right choice.

    To me, you deserve soo much more than what he is willing to give you.
    It's blaintly obvious he is taking you for granted.

    In love, no one should ever feel second best.
    Sounds like he isn't going to be changing anytime soon. And one day he will realise what he has lost if you decide to leave, but that day will be too little too late for him.

    Best of luck sweety, hope happiness comes your way soon.

    Love Lola Doll
    xo xo xo

  5. I don't know what to say. This is exactly what I don't want to happen in a relationship. For me, negligence and indifference are major relationship "sins" that most tolerate or gloss over. Sure, his job is important. But can't he at least devote two evenings a week just for you? It's the least he can do. Plus, you already do so much for him.

    Remember, love that is not fostered does not grow. Does he still love you? More importantly, do you still truly love him as he is now?

  6. Aw sweetie, this sucks. He should pick you but I agree with the first Anonymous, be sure you pick yourself too. Take care.


  8. Love, love is not always a bed of roses and easy. Sometimes the priorities of our lovers change, we have to realize that we have to adjust and embrace that change as well. Love is not static. What we loved yesterday we may not be fond of today thus we need to be cameleons in the dance of love- able to change without losing our authenticity to fit the situation. Support your man! There are plenty of guys who are not ambitious or have a dream! You are blessed to have yourself a guy! Most guys cannot balance work and home-- help him to balance it! Additionally if you need to get yourself involved in YOUR dreams as well then do soo. Nothing beats two lovers working on their dreams and goals and coming hoem to each other. Make your home his place of refuge, his sanctuary so that work would just be an accessory and not the main ingrediant in his life. Now doing all the right things does not suggest that he will remain with you forever. He might walk away, he might get colder, he might treat you like how you deserve but do what you must so that at the end of the day no matter what happens in your heart you knew that you did all you could have done and it was enough in your eyes! Ill pray that you gain understanding and patience and strong. I was in a similar situation expect I was the workaholic. I am still the workaholic --- He was my support system and I took him for granted. He walked away because I took his kindness and love for granted. I have never felt more hurt than I am now. We workaholics though choleric in nature need love too. Decide what YOU want and make an informed decision. Dont allow emotions to make your decisions for you. Allow principle and commitment. Love you!

  9. Dear baby, I don't know if you'll read this, but I hope, from the deepest place of my heart, that we would be the happiest couple together, and that we would solve all our problems and work things out, hand in hand. I may be upset, I may be tired, I might even be thinking of giving up sometimes, but don't you give me up. Don't you let me go. Don't.

  10. Well ...
    I think we're in the same situation , but my boyfriend always puts his family and his friends and his life first , then I'll be the last one who He'll think 'bout .
    I love him to death , so I'm alright with that , what we can do ?
    Just be supportive , that's what I'm doing , 'cause it's the only thing I can do .

  11. I am afraid I disagree with Denise. I don´t want to sound too harsh, but that little text seems like something you might find in a 50s magazine... "take care of your man", while cooking and cleaning and being a perfec wife? I agree with the goals part, nothing is more pleasing that having passions and work for them. But I keep wondering... are you the kind of girl who is happy being a shadow? what will happen when/if you have a family together? Best of luck, babe, you surely deserve it.

  12. @ Esmeralda, I don't like people like you. It's not like you lie, you just don't say the truth. get it? that is what you do with people.
    Luckily, it does help people to give them the attention/advice they are giving themselves, so no need to trigger a gun. :)

    yes I just admitted you do make a difference, isn't it nice? I just don't like the way you do it, that's all. I feel sad that there are so many people who buy that crap, but I'm glad that so many people are being helped with it.

    About the story, it's a bit sad. I would let him come to you by not going to him.. Cus you can't let him take you for granted, but of course you don't want to end it just like that, without even trying. If he feels the same way, you'll notice.

  13. Claud, I understand what you're saying, but please:

    It's "you're", not "your" for "you are".

    It kind of takes away from your story for me because all I can think about is your grammar...

  14. Honestly girl, I feel like you and this girl have a ton in common.. She's only got two posts but they're unreal

  15. I feel you. Worse, my fiance's that way... AND he's a million miles away. So I don't even have I'll-make-it-up-to-yous. Instead, I have sparse phone calls and rare messages. And whenever I get them, I feel like I should be grateful. And then I feel stupid for thinking that way. Cos I deserve his attention.

    When you're in a relationship, the other person should mean more to you than yourself. Or your career.

  16. My boyfriend has his own business and it seems like he's working all the time. He's a lawyer. He's 25 and I am 23. Even when we went away for our anniversary he had to set aside an hour to do work stuff by the computer.

    It frustrates me because it sometimes seem that he does not have time for me, and I wish he would have more time for me.

    But I know it's only the beginning of his career and the money he makes is to set up for our future. So I try to be patient. I do believe him because we just bought a house together.

    It pains him when I tell him that I feel unloved, because he says he truly does love me even after 8years. But he just has a lot of work to do.

  17. I agree with Denise. While we are young and healthy it is good to work hard for our goals, as long as we end up coming home to each other and still appreciating each other. The hard work will pay off. And it will be all worth it when you reach your forties and live contently and are financially stable because you know you worked hard to get where you are. And you know you have survived through the tough times together.

  18. I agree with Denise. RPGirl, I don't think Denise necessarily means 'cooking & cleaning & being the perfect wife', she just means to make the relationship something worth 'coming home' to. Instead of kicking up a fuss about not meeting much etc which would only cause more tension & frustration, focus all your angst & energy into just giving pure love & support. Claud, WHY are you hurting right now? Because you love him. & since you do, just Give love. Anyhow, I'm sure your boyfriend is working for the sake of a brighter future for you both. It's showing love in a different way.

  19. Dear Girl who waits,
    Love can't wait and I am not here to say that he can't love you even though he puts work before you.
    I'm just saying you can't love yourself if you are with someone who will dissapoint you so much.
    You need love too, don't leave yourself hungry for love.

  20. ah, bless! its no fun coming second! hope he learns how to balance work and lovelife! xx

  21. Dear Claud.

    If he doesn't even call you to tell you he's not coming to dinner, something is very wrong.

    You deserve better.

    He may be working a lot, but one phonecall to his girlfriend isn't hard. I hope that the one thing I'm not going to regret when I die, is working to LITLLE.
    There are tons of people who can handle working and having a relationship. In fact, most people do.

    He needs to give credit where credit's due (for everything; your patience, your ideas for his company, your love and understanding), and he doesn't.

    You're still young. Find someone worthy of your love and attention, and who returns it.
    Pick someone else.

  22. thats a pretty common problem in relationships... iots difficult because he's working... he's not doing anything bad but the problem is that he's not payung attention to you and he puts you in second place... its frustrating that you speak with him about what is annoying to you about his attitude but he is not listening... i think that you should pay less atention to him... dont call him, dont email him... he will look for you, its the best advice that a can give you.

  23. I don't know what to say. This is exactly what I don't want to happen in a relationship. For me, negligence and indifference are major relationship "sins" that most tolerate or gloss over. Sure, his job is important. But can't he at least devote two evenings a week just for you? It's the least he can do. Plus, you already do so much for him.

  24. What namely you are writing is a horrible mistake.


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