Monday, August 23, 2010

i don't know what's going to happen.


ffffound

Yesterday morning when I woke up I was still pissed off. So I decided do stop by his house and give him a piece of my mind. I was going to yell, scream, hit him, make him feel like shit. I had it all planned out. I drove to his house and rang the doorbell. He opened the door with a surprised look on his face. "Hey...?" he said, and gave me a hug. Damn, I thought. Why'd he have to hug me? I couldn't hit him then. I couldn't yell or cry or be angry with him at all. He has such influence over me it's disturbing.

We stood on his porch and had a big talk. I can't remember everything exactly but I told him how horrible he made me feel sometimes. How I felt like he was trying to replace me and memories of me with his girlfriend. I want him to have new memories, but I want him to remember old ones, too. I know at one point I started crying and he hugged me close to him. Then he told me that I made him feel like shit, too. A while ago. I told him to tell me everything that I had done wrong and everything that he was mad at me for... So he got it all off his chest. Everything came out. He was on the verge of tears, too. After we got all our anger out, things got softer. We talked about how we liked each other, how he's scared to be with me because he doesn't want to get hurt again.

As we talked, I was kind of flirting with him on purpose, like playing with his jacket strings and zipper and tickling his neck. At one point I put my hand on his chest, right over his heart. It was pounding. I let out a small laugh.
"What?" He asked.
"Remember when I used to rest my head on your chest and listen to your heart?"
He smiled.
"Yeah, I remember. It was your favorite thing to do."
And so I did again. He moved his jacket and pulled my head to his chest. His heart beat even faster. I smiled into his shirt and turned my head so that I was breathing him in.
"Are you smelling me..?"
I smiled again.
"Yes. You smell good."
He laughed and asked what he smells like.
"Magic," I said.
I stepped away from him so that I could see his face.
"Do I have a smell?" I asked.
"Yes."
"What do I smell like?"
"Good. Really good."
I sniffed my hair, and he chuckled and said, grinning,
"No, not your hair..."
He pulled my hair all to one side so that the left side of my neck was bare.
"Right there.."
He leaned down and smelled my neck, then began kissing it. He kissed my neck, each kiss getting closer and closer to my face. He was about to reach my lips when I turned away,
"No. I'm not going to be that girl again. The girl that makes the guy cheat on his girlfriend. I hate that feeling."
He looked down and nodded. We continued talking about each other. How much we loved each other's eyes, stuff like that. We reminisced on the night of our first kiss. He remembered what I was wearing, what the date was, everything. I started playing with his ear, something I do that began that night and which I have done ever since. Eventually both my hands were worked up in his hair and his were pulling me closer to him. Our lips were an inch apart. He leaned in closer and I put two fingers on his mouth to stop him. He groaned.
In a whisper,
"Come on..."
We gazed into the eyes of the other and it overtook me. In that moment I no longer cared that He had a girlfriend; it wasn't real, their love. But our moment was. I let him lean in once more and his lips brushed mine gently. For some reason I turned to go to my car and leave.. I was scared and embarrassed but as I tried to walk away he took my hand and pulled me back to face him and kissed me again. It went on like that. I would tease him, making him want me even more than he already did, and rarely give it to him. After a few more kisses, goosebumps, and dizzying amounts of butterflies in my stomach, I really did have to go. He walked me to my car and I stood leaning against it, talking to him for at least ten more minutes. This time, it was his turn to tease me. I wrapped my arms around his neck in an attempt to pull his face towards mine but he was able to lean back and resist my desperate attempts.
"Please..?" I asked, with my best puppy dog face.
"On the cheek," He said, smiling.
So I gave him a kiss on the cheek. I got in the car, started it, and the song Sing To You, by Table For One, was playing. I rolled down the window and took his hand.
*Would you let me sing to you, dry your crying eyes for you? Let my words take you away to a better view. You don't have to say anything about yesterday. If you listen, I can take your pain away*
"This song is really cute," I told him. And so he listened while I held his hand and kissed his fingers. When the song ended, he told me he'd miss me. I tried to kiss him but he turned so that I kissed his cheek.
"One more?" I asked. He leaned in through the window to kiss me, then said goodbye. I drove home, smiling the whole way.
(:

But that was yesterday. Now I'm just confused. He's with his girlfriend right now. Their families got together for dinner. He hasn't talked to me all day... I don't think he's going to tell his girlfriend about what happened... and I don't think he's going to break up with her. The situation sucks for all three of us.
His girlfriend: has been cheated on and doesn't know it. Her boyfriend likes and wants to be with me, his best friend. She doesn't know this either.
Him: likes and wants to be with two girls. Wants to be with me more than his girlfriend, but is scared to because I hurt him in the past.
Me: I'm in love with my best friend, but he has a girlfriend and even though he cheated on her with me he's not going to tell her because he doesn't want to break up with her because he's scared to be with me because I hurt him in the past.

I don't know what's going to happen. I asked him if he was going to take a chance and be with me, and he said, "Baby steps. I'll get there. Slowly. It might take a year; or more, or less. I don't know." But I told him I'd wait for him regardless.

Sigh. I'm just wondering how long it's going to take.

89 comments:

  1. If he wants to be with you, he will be with you, regardless of how much you've hurt him in the past. Waiting will only end up hurting you. Cause you're the one sitting at home wondering if he'll ever come back while she's the one holding his hand across the dining table and sleeping right next to him at night. All you'll ever have are a few stolen moments and you deserve more than that.

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  2. In my experience. Sometimes its hard for one to let go especially if they are currently in a relationship... no matter what history you have with them. I've been the one thats done the waiting. sometimes its worth it other times not. I admire your trust in the universe to let life take its course but I would also be careful. Sometimes waiting... you let other opportunities pass you by. Day by day. you'll figure it out. but don't be afraid to stop waiting because you deserve more.

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  3. its a hard situation and im sorry your going through this..although i can say ive been through it myself..i say let go..and continue with your life..you cant be waiting around forever..because whats meant to be will always find its way..<3

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  4. uhh.. I'm sorry, but this story makes me sick. I understand that he's your best friend and you love him, but you being the "other woman" doesn't make this any easier. Put yourself in her shoes.

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  5. Dont wait for someone who cant make you a priority in his life. If he doesnt feel bad about doing this to his current girlfriend, he probably isnt the kind of guy that you want to be with. Dont blame yourself for what happened in the past, we all make decisions and we have to be responsible for it. You said he cheated on you cos of the things you did, he is just making excuses. Whats his excuse for kissing you when he knows he has a girlfriend?

    Show him you are better than a back up plan, that you deserve more. this whole situation is so sad, i have been there before, and you only get strung along and end up being hurt in the end. Its not worth it and you should let yourself know, that you're worth more than this.

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  6. this is soo frustrating to read this because i totally went through the same thing except his current girlfriend was the girl he cheated on me with. I refused to believe their relationship was real. I didn't take them seriously at all. But if hes still with her...then imagine how much longer those baby steps will be?

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  7. i can't feel sorry for you because this was incredibly selfish and weak willed, on both of your parts.

    the only person here i have sympathy for is the girlfriend. grow up.

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  8. wow. your writing is breathtaking. your story is breathtaking.
    keep up the updates, im officially addicted to your life!

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  9. Oh My God! The guy is a complete jerk for cheating on his girlfriend! I don't have any sympathy for you or your "boyfriend". This is ridiculous!

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  10. I have been in this situation before. And to tell you the truth, the end for this mess is not easy. Me and the guy confronted to his girlfriend about what actually had happened, since his girlfriend apparently know me *the guy introduce his girlfriend to me*

    Obviously the guy cheated on his girlfriend and it's a very bad thing to do. But the guy also in confusion why did he did all that. Give him time to decide, he must choose only one.

    If the guy choose you, ask forgiveness to his girlfriend, it's like you are stealing her boyfriend away and this thing might happen to you.*what goes around comes around* But if he choose his girlfriend, you really need to grow up, and move on.


    I really like the way you tell your story though :)

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  11. Noone has the right to judge! Everybody makes mistakes, right?

    My advice: you deserve, as every person, to be loved unconditionally and truelly and someone who is going to love you for who you are and be committed to you and your relationship!
    Best of luck

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  12. I despise people like you.

    I feel sorry for his girlfriend to be with such a disgusting pig and not know it.

    I was with a guy that did this to me, sneaking around with her behind my back. I would've preferred for him to break up with me but he was too much of a coward. And he wanted the both of us. This went on for several months and when I found out, he ditched her and came crawling back to me. I didn't take him back and even then, he never went back to her.

    I hope karma comes back to you and bites you in the ass. Selfish bitch.

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  13. Do not be with him....he is playing you. He will make you wait forever and on a string because he knows you will now.

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  14. no one deserves to be cheated on. i think you should come to a conclusion that if he's capable of doin this to his gf,he can do the same to you too. i just feel so sorry for his gf.

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  15. Imagine how you'd feel if your best friend was pulling something like this.

    Would you like the guy? Or would you think him to be a little sketchy?

    Would you condone her behavior? Or would you tell her she should keep in mind who she is going to hurt?

    I am not judging, nor am I saying that you're all completely horrible people for getting here. Sometimes these things happen and sometimes things ARE as complicated and heartfelt as they seem.

    But keep in mind how it looks. Things that look bad, usually -not always, but usually- are.

    Having said that, this is beautifully and romantically written. Excellent.

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  16. I've been you before.

    It isn't going to be easy for you to get over the guilt when you finally realise what you did was so selfish. Control yourself please, sometimes it has to be mind over heart. All the best.

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  17. this story is how my relationship now started.. it took him ohhh a week to figure out i was what he wanted. we have been together over a year now. am i a home-wrecker? maybe. but im the happiest girl in the world. and in love.

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  18. I have been in this situation. And for all these people who have left such judgemental comments, you didn't need to, be sure that those hurtful things will already have been said in this girl's own head. It's so hard when you have been with someone, never stopped loving them, and circumstances have meant that they have ended up with someone else. The problem is, if you have emotions that last like this for such a long period of time it's almost impossible to get your head round the fact that the guy in question is not equally loyal but can't let go of either of you. The fact is it's irrelevant ultimately who he has the srongest feelings for, trust me I have been in a situation like this going on for six years, the other girl doesn't know. Only now am I finally able to realise that whether he loves me or not it is preferable to be without someone who doesn't make you feel you deserve to be chosen. If you still love someone with such a passionate loyal love as you obviously do then you deserve to be with someone who will love you in the same way. Not someone who doesn't love you enough to choose you or even let you go. That's not discounting the possibility that he has feelings for you, it just sounds like he is incapable of love as valuable as yours. Can you withstand the mental damage of constantly not feeling good enough to be the one he's chosen? Break out of the vicious circle and don't see him anymore. He's not your friend or he wouldn't play with your emotions like this. It's the only way you can move on and find someone who will love you in the way you truly deserve. Detox yourself of this selfish bastard.

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  19. OMG ... I'm just thinkin' about his girlfriend right now , I don't feel bad for you , what you've done was selfish , I have a boyfriend and I wouldn't like that he cheat on me like that !

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  20. First off... those before me who have left harsh comments, let's take a deep breathe. This isn't OUR life. I remind you of the Bob Marley quote
    'Who are you to judge the life I live?
    I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be.
    But, before you start pointing fingers,
    Make sure your hands are clean.'

    That being said, I'll be completely honest and say I've been BOTH girls in this situation before. And I don't think it was karma getting back at me since I was cheated on first before I was in our author's position.
    I feel for everyone in this situation.... probably least of all for the guy but still. I agree with Genesis who said 'sometimes things really are as complicated and heartfelt as they seem.'
    The girlfriend deserves the right to know. I know I wished I had found out a lot sooner about my boyfriends actions. It's a big betrayal, but it also made me realize how much we weren't right for each other, which I'm very thankful for.
    And being the other woman: sometimes you don't even realize you've gotten yourself into that situation until it's too late. I'm not using that as an excuse, it really happens that way for some people. And it didn't matter how ashamed I felt about it, I still couldn't shake the feelings I had for the guy. It was like my heart had gone rogue from my head. I was for all intents and purposes 'mental' over the situation. Only time for me fixed things in my own heart.
    So to our author: your story is beautifully written and you sound like a beautiful person who's stuck in a bad and hard place. Keep your chin up girl, and don't wait. He may be the love of your life right now, but anything worth waiting for won't give you that much heartbreak.

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  21. my heart broke reading this... for you... for her... for him... if only it was as easy as turning off a switch... i can see each perspective... how one can get caught up in the moment... how devastating the outcome will be for someone... my heart breaks for the confusion love creates... you are more important than you realize... you matter... never forget that... ever

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  22. put yourself in his girlfriend's shoes. What he's doing isn't fair for either of you, but it comes down to the fact that she's his girlfriend...and you're not. And she's being cheated on.
    but I do fee sorry for you and the situation you're in, and I think you deserve better than that. You deserve someone who doesn't need baby steps to come down to the conclusion he wants to be with you, you need someone who wants to *BE* with you.
    best of luck to you.

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  23. some reasons are just convenient excuses.

    if he really does love you, he would break up with his girlfriend just to be with you, however difficult it may be.

    and the reasons to not be with you will perpetually exist if he does not do anything about it.

    we dont get the best of both worlds but work for what is worth it.

    is it he worth it for you? and you for him?

    think about it.

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  24. omg.. this is so beautifully written! i love it! xxxxx http://improcrastinate.blogspot.com

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  25. Beautifully written!
    If he's worth waiting, you should definitely do that. He'll come back.
    xxx
    http://www.hushforfashion.blogspot.com/

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  26. Send his girl to this site. She might start thinking.
    xxx

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  27. this all sounds so eerily familiar.

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  28. you write well. but you use your beautiful writing skills to try and cover up the guilty thing you did, which is really sad. but no matter how romantic you make it seem, the fact is: you WERE that other girl, and you could have said "no don't kiss me" but you seduced him instead.

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  29. I hope one day the same thing happens to you.

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  30. I LOVE your blog =D

    Kiss by red balloon *

    www.docesemente.blogspot.com

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  31. I don't know what to say... first part is so romantic that I didn't notice that he has girlfriend.he is jerk,because he is cheating on his girlfriend,he kissed you,when he knew that hi's got gf.he give you false hope. if you want wait-wait,but i think that your love will be difficult in the future. if he is cheating on his girlfriend, he could cheat on you too. think about that. is he still worth waiting?i hope you'll find true love.
    good luck

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  32. what the fuck woman?
    HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CHEATED ON??DO YOU KNOW THE FEELING? i don't care about your hugs kisses,romantic bullshit.that girl loves him with all her heart,has faith in him and u want to steal him from her because u BELIEVE that you can offer more?
    You know why fair people's hearts are broken?Because of selfish greedy people like you and your best friend,and i hope both u and him get what you deserve.I'm sorry to be this honest but relationships started this way,in my opinion,cannot be called pure and RIGHT

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  33. Hmmm, this is very interesting....

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  34. oh my god. this is such perfect timing because I'm going through a similar situation. My best friend/ex boyfriend hasn't cheated on his girlfriend with me; however, he tells me he misses me & still cares about me a lot. He keeps saying things like "you never know what the future will bring", etc. and every time I try to let him go, he refuses to let me go anywhere.

    Honestly, people who haven't been in a similar situation wouldn't understand, at all, so in my opinion don't take their advice too much to heart. I realize there's another girl with feelings that is involved & that's really shitty, but no one can understand until they're put in that exact situation. If my ex would kiss me while he has a girlfriend, I honestly would not be able to resist. Now, I'm not saying that you should let him take you forgranted, either, because that's not right if he's just stringing you along. I've gotten advice from a lot of people, but no one can really understand it except for the 2 people in the relationship (in your case - you & this guy). You can take everyone's advice into consideration, but in the end you're going to be the one dealing with whatever you decide, so follow your heart & what you believe to be right for YOU.

    It's so hard; I truly feel your pain - it's like your stuck in limbo. You know you'll wait for him for as long as it takes, but what if he doesn't come back? That's how I feel, anyway. ...I finally decided today that I'm going to let go & act as though we'll never be together again. I gave him back everything he's ever given me, pictures of him, etc. today. We both cried - it hurt like hell. It's the hardest I've ever done, and probably will ever have to do because I love him to death, but this way I won't miss out on anything else that comes my way. And like someone else has said, what's meant to be will always find a way. Just believe that.

    Good luck with everything, and just try to have faith that everything will work out perfectly eventually - no matter what the outcome is. Keep your head high, and chin up.

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  35. I just read more of the comments saying that you're horrible for what you did. They just don't understand - you're not horrible or weak or anything along those lines so don't listen to them. You're in love & love can have one of the strongest powers over you. Stay strong, girl.

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  36. Do NOT wait for him. It'll just be a waste of you time and more heartbreak. If he wanted to be with you he would've taken action and dumped her. He would only be concerned about your feelings and not hers. Since he doesn't really know what he wants then that's a clear signal that you're being played.
    Either give him a deadline or waste your life away waiting for a relationship that's never going to happen.

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  37. I'm sorry but I can't feel sorry for you.
    You are very, incredibly, selfish.
    I hate this world.
    Why is it so corrupted?!

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  38. I was you, even though they have broken up we are still not together but friends with benefits. It's been going on for 2 years and trust me ultimately @ the end of the day it's not worth it because you'll start questioning. It will have a detrimental effect on your mental state, let one question their confidence and self esteem. You deserve much better dear, after a while it seems addictive and it's hard to break out of this circle but you have to try :) no one ever deserves to be waiting and let someone else choose, that's just plain selfishness.

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  39. I was you, even though they have broken up we are still not together but friends with benefits. It's been going on for 2 years and trust me ultimately @ the end of the day it's not worth it because you'll start questioning. It will have a detrimental effect on your mental state, let one question their confidence and self esteem. You deserve much better dear, after a while it seems addictive and it's hard to break out of this circle but you have to try :) no one ever deserves to be waiting and let someone else choose, that's just plain selfishness.

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  40. dear you,

    I totally can relate myself with you. I am in love with best friend too. I remember he told me he like my smell. He like to sniff me at my left neck as well. And I begin to like his smell too.

    I understand those magic smell, his smell. Smelling it make me so in loved.

    We just broke off, after 1 week ++ in the relationship. But no 3rd party involved, is just that we sense something was amiss.

    dear you,
    i know is hard. I am going through it as well. Those sudden thoughts of him keep bugging you on and off. However have a deep quiet thoughts of it, if he like you, he shouldn't act like this. Keeping you waiting and guessing the next step.

    dear you,
    do move on with me. Will pray for both of us.

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  41. HE IS STRINGING YOU ALONG. run for the hills. fast.

    a relationship started on lies and deceit will remain as that. you'll never trust him fully because if he does it to her, he'll do it to you. don't play yourself. move on.

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  42. Being the other woman does not do anyone any good. Walk away, find someone who is single and wants to be with you. He's weak, if he really wanted you he'd dump her. Because he hasn't shows he's weak, and indecisive. He could easily do it to you. Walk away, and get on with your life. It'd do you good.

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  43. i feel how you feel... damn... were just love suckers

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  44. To those who said that people wouldn't understand unless they were in a similar situation - BULLSHIT.

    To the original poster of this story - you are weak, you are selfish and you need to really stop and think about you are doing. Put yourself in the girlfriends shoes. How would you feel if your boyfriend was kissing another girl behind your back?

    You really need to grow up. This is not a game. You claim that you're in love? Do you know what it is? You sound like a manipulative little whore.

    I've been in your situation (sort of). I was in love with my best friend - but he already had a girlfriend - but we had morales so nothing ever happened and we walked away from each other. He couldn't leave her for his own reasons and I wasn't going to be the other woman. I didn't ask him to leave her - I respected myself, him and the girlfriend does not deserve to be cheated on no matter what my feelings were.

    Turns out, they broke up two years later. We had gone our separate ways - I had a boyfriend at that stage. Things between the boy and I didn't work out and we broke up after four years together.

    One year later while travelling, guess who I should bump into but the guy I had loved and walked away from almost 5 years ago. We were both single, both available - now we are getting married next year.

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  45. Why guys you are writing so cruel comments? I am not defend anybody but this is just a reminder that NOBODY is perfect.
    Even you are making mistakes!
    Nobody knows how this girl feels, what she went through..
    To the girl that wrote this story: you have to realize that you deserve more than this.. a man who is going to chose you and only you for his life!

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  46. nobody is perfect. when love is involved it can make you weak in the moment, but it doesn't mean you are weak. You two also weren't just friends before - there's a history involving love. it's tough, and seriously don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

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  47. It sounds like you guys never had a real relationship - based on trust, love and respect. That's what real love is all about and no relationship can work without it. I really feel sorry for his girlfriend, and I hope she dumps him because even though I don't know her, I know she deserves better that that scum.

    And btw, I thought this blog was about love not some cheating asshole and his whore. Stop posting stories like these! It gets me depressed, and cheating is NEVER EVER love.

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  48. u both are in love dammit just go ahead .. wid each other

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  49. Get out now. Seriously. If he's willing to cheat on his gf and then act like nothing happened when he sees her, if he's willing to kiss you and tell you how much he likes you but then tell you it may take more than a year(!!!!) to quit his relationship, GET OUT NOW.

    It's terrible to cheat, I know. I was a cheater back in the day, and I feel guilty about it, but I will tell you this: I NEVER dated anyone I cheated with. Never.

    He's playing you. Get out.

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  50. wow, way to be a selfish and cruel human being. my intention is not to be mean but to knock some common sense into you. where are your morals? where is your self respect? i don't know what it is like to be cheated on, but i can only imagine the heartbreak and pain it must bring. i have a boyfriend whom i love with every fiber in my being, and he goes to school up in northern california, while i go to school in southern california. and if he ever cheated on me, it would devastate me, DEVASTATE ME. are you listening? it would absolutely crush my world and break my heart. you need to stop what you are doing and move on because right now, in this moment in time, you are not a nice person. you are hurting others. you are hurting yourself. i don't know you personally or maybe i do, maybe you're some girl my bf is cheating on me with right now. but i don't know you personally, and i'm ok with saying that i'm glad i don't.

    "the best decisions, the ones we never regret, come from listening to ourselves."

    can you live with yourself?

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  51. He cheated on his girlfriend - if he ever leaves her for you - what's to say he won't cheat on you? Because you think he's in love with you? I'm sure his girlfriend thinks the same.

    Shame on you - you're disgusting.

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  52. I know this, it's quite the same situation as mine. It took 10 years so far, and I'm still waiting

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  53. @ Affable Anna-Grace: amen. (but for me, it took him about a year, and only after it was clear she was going to cheat or dump him.)

    jeez, harsh comments, people. to everyone saying "have YOU ever been cheated on," have YOU ever fallen for somebody knowing they have a girlfriend, and honestly trying not to fall for them but end up doing it anyway? THAT is something that sucks. also, it gets hard to not hold yourself back when he's the one making the first move.

    Okay! finally, to the advice: please try to get over him, for his and her sake but most importantly for yours. if he isn't going to choose you over her, then there is no reason to stay out of a relationship with a someone who will really put you first and make it clear that he does. good luck with everything.



    ...also, i saw someone had said that the other girl (his girlfriend) "loves him with all her heart"...not saying she doesn't, but how could you possibly know that? nowadays so many people don't date for love...just for "fun," popularity stuff, or sexual gratification...it's stupid. don't date just because you "want a boyfriend/girlfriend," people...

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  54. I've been in love with my best friend while he had a girlfriend. But I never ever tried to seduce him, tried talking about our emotions for each other, because as a best friend, I respect he has a girlfriend, and even though he did flirt a little, I stayed hopelessly in love, not flirting, and I never wanted to make him cheat, because a real best friend respects their choices and help them make the best of it all.

    And later I've been cheated on by the boyfriend I now have. It was pretty much like this, but much more emotional cheating, not sex or kissing. It was 1,5 years ago and it went on for four months during our relationship. And he begged me to take him back after it, because he had just taken me for granted. A life without me wouldn't be worth anything, he said. And I did take him back after hours on the phone, because I loved him, and no matter how bad he hurt me, I would always want him back. However I'm still sad and I still feel very betrayed and that I can't trust him yet. He regrets what he did so bad, and he has changed. He has morals now, and whenever I'm sad about what happened, he hates the person he used to be, that immature, inconsiderate guy, and he hates the girl for manipulating him. But we keep trying to patch things up, we keep hoping that some day we'll be happy together all the time, because neither of us can imagine a life without each other.

    So reading this tore my heart apart, because I knew that somewhere out there the story repeats itself, and some innocent girl gets hurt because people (like the writer) are selfish and others never think before they act and just take things for granted, and it's so damn upsetting that people keep doing these things to each other. They keep hurting each other, keep betraying each other, keep beating each other down and keeping each other down. What does it take to make people realize that the things they do have consequences?

    And really, you mean, inconsiderate whore, why would he go out with her, why would their families meet if they did not care much about each other? They may not love each other yet, but please stop living in the past and let people go on with their lives! Remember that you created this whole situation, you reminded him, you wouldn't let him move on when he tried to, you are the bad guy, and you are the reason three people are now hurting. And also, if he really loved you and had no affection for the other girl, he would take you back, but he doesn't. Hope you end up miserable and alone. You deserve it.

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  55. I've been in love with my best friend while he had a girlfriend. But I never ever tried to seduce him, tried talking about our emotions for each other, because as a best friend, I respect he has a girlfriend, and even though he did flirt a little, I stayed hopelessly in love, not flirting, and I never wanted to make him cheat, because a real best friend respects their choices and help them make the best of it all.

    And later I've been cheated on by the boyfriend I now have. It was pretty much like this, but much more emotional cheating, not sex or kissing. It was 1,5 years ago and it went on for four months during our relationship. And he begged me to take him back after it, because he had just taken me for granted. A life without me wouldn't be worth anything, he said. And I did take him back after hours on the phone, because I loved him, and no matter how bad he hurt me, I would always want him back. However I'm still sad and I still feel very betrayed and that I can't trust him yet. He regrets what he did so bad, and he has changed. He has morals now, and whenever I'm sad about what happened, he hates the person he used to be, that immature, inconsiderate guy, and he hates the girl for manipulating him. But we keep trying to patch things up, we keep hoping that some day we'll be happy together all the time, because neither of us can imagine a life without each other.

    So reading this tore my heart apart, because I knew that somewhere out there the story repeats itself, and some innocent girl gets hurt because people (like the writer) are selfish and others never think before they act and just take things for granted, and it's so damn upsetting that people keep doing these things to each other. They keep hurting each other, keep betraying each other, keep beating each other down and keeping each other down. What does it take to make people realize that the things they do have consequences?

    And really, you mean, inconsiderate whore, why would he go out with her, why would their families meet if they did not care much about each other? They may not love each other yet, but please stop living in the past and let people go on with their lives! Remember that you created this whole situation, you reminded him, you wouldn't let him move on when he tried to, you are the bad guy, and you are the reason three people are now hurting. And also, if he really loved you and had no affection for the other girl, he would take you back, but he doesn't. Hope you end up miserable and alone. You deserve it.

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  56. @jett black. What the hell?? You don't even make sense. You question a girl that says she loves her boyfriend with all her heart? But it's ok that this whore is ruining a relationship and people with harsh comments don't understand?

    @OP There is no excuse for being the other woman whatever your feelings are. What the fuck? Where are your morals?

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  57. ... and maybe one should ask, who are any of us to judge?

    empathy, compassion, LOVE is a way of being without questioning another's choices... without bringing another down because we lack a bit of understanding for their situation... maybe that is something to aspire to... may be that is something to believe in... maybe that something is to try and come at this from all sides and find the heart of the matter... remembering we are all flawed and human...

    dear writer... be good to your heart and know you are enough...

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  58. You don't kiss other girls' boyfriends. Don't make yourself feel better by telling yourself that their love isn't real, because how could you possibly KNOW what these two persons feel for each other? You are not in a relationship with neither of them. You might feel like he should be yours, because you are his best friend, but seriously: he already HAS a girlfriend. Do you have any idea what you are doing to this girl? How worthless she will feel when she finds out? I know that feeling, and it is not something I would wish for anybody. Think twice before you go on and destroy the love this girl knows. And by the way: if this guy is cheating on his current girlfriend with you, why would it be any different with you?

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  59. He doesn't want to be with you, he wants to be with his girlfriend. If he wanted to be with you than he would. Men are simple not complicated like we would hope in these situations. Only advise I'd give is stay away from him and let them move on don't be the desperate ex! No one likes " that girl". Stop throwing yourself at him or you'll end up hurt worse than ever because really, he seems happy with his girlfriend.

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  60. I've been the girl that was cheated on and I'm asking you to stop.

    I was naive. My view of love was once innocent and pure. Then the harsh reality set in when *you* (or at least someone like you) came along.

    I'm still reeling from it. Still hurt and betrayed and it has been a year. I don't feel the same way about love any more, don't trust any man out there.

    All because someone like you, couldn't keep her paws to herself. All because someone like you had to throw herself at him because she said our love wasn't real and that he loved her.

    It has been a year after I found out and broke up with him. And he is still trying to get back together with me. He said doing what he did was the biggest mistake of his life. That she meant nothing. That he could never be with someone like her because she was is a girl with no morals. Much like yourself.

    I will never get back together with him. I will never love the same way again.

    Because of you.

    Know this - he loves her. Not you. If he didn't love her, he would've broken up with her to be with you already. Right now, he's stuck in the middle, confused on what to do. Right now, he just wants to have his cake and eat it too. But in the end, he will choose her.

    You're nothing but a little side piece.

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  61. In this story, I am the guy.
    But I'm a girl.
    I'm with a guy who I love but my ex keeps coming back to me. Whatever that my ex have, my current bf does not have. Whatever my current bf have, my ex does not have.

    But I think I want my ex back.......... It's cheaper love & it's purer.

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  62. BTW, that does not mean he is in love with his GF, too. If you really feel that there is hope in the future for both of you, go ahead.

    Because the guy probly will let the rel with his current gf be, see how things goes 1st. Or maybe the work done is too tideous for him to break up with her & that he is afraid to hurt her just like how he did to you/ you did to him.

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  63. Stop fucking judging people. I don't approve of cheating but it seems this girl has been punished enough. Everything happens for a reason. True, that guy was a jerk but if he could bring himself to cheat on his girlfriend, their relationship was probably insecure anyway. I'm not saying people with insecure relationships are allowed to cheat, but I believe when you are really in love, you can't bring yourself to commit actions that will harm your loved one.

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  64. Unfortunately, it's in (some) peoples nature to judge. So if this whore didn't want people to judge her, she shouldn't have submitted this apparent love story.

    She's interfering in a relationship and hurting an innocent girl. I know it's wrong to judge but I just can't help hating her for that.

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  65. Some comments above one person said:

    "True, that guy was a jerk but if he could bring himself to cheat on his girlfriend, their relationship was probably insecure anyway."

    WTF! You can't reason like that! Many relationships START with cheating, just because some desperate ex won't get her hands off the guy who's trying to move on. Maybe they would get married, if only this whore would let them involve more.

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  66. You disgusting little whore. People like you doesn't deserve to be around other people. You have no morals and absolutely no respect for other people. Don't you feel guilty? Don't you realize what you have done? You make me sick! I hope you will be treated the same way you treat others, you disrespectful little punk.

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  67. I think that you write really well, but I hope his girlfriend finds out and kicks your ass.

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  68. dont wait for him.

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  69. I waited almost 7 years (and through two girlfriends). Then we had the chance this summer. He blew it. Big time. After almost seven years of thinking, that this is something special and worth waiting for.
    But seriously, waiting for someone to love you back the same way you do? This cannot be it. Maybe for others but not for me. I hope you won't go through those piles of shit I became so familiar with. I really do. The feeling of: Why didn't I do domething better with all this waisted time?! Is something I will never wish for someone. All the best to you. Honestly.

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  70. you're really cheap. and the way you say he wants you reveals how dense you are. obviously he is with her because he wants her, not because you hurt him or whatever. what an idiot you are. gosh.

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  71. Well, first the condom will pop
    then,white stuff will be all over your face and then the rent man is going to bang on the door"
    Knock, knock, knock!!!
    "PAY YOUR RENT!"

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  72. God, I had tears in my eyes!
    It's the same with me, i met a boy who had a girlfriend to and we had a carry-on together!he broke up with her, not because of me. i dont know why he did it.. we didnt saw us for a lot of months, because he has a new flat in another town..

    last weekend we saw us, he was so different. i thought my heart will be exploding, he talked to me, he was so lovely and at the end he said: call me and you can come to me. after it he gave me some kisses on my cheek.
    i love him, i always think of him and of these kisses..♥

    YOU CAN MAKE IT ♥

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  73. At first when I read this text I felt sick. Sick for the girlfriends sake. Couldn't feel any sympathy for you at all. Imagining myself in her position; I'd be completely heartbroken if my boyfriend did this to me and I found out, and thinking of him doing it without me finding out is even worse.

    But at second thought I imagined myself in your position. If my boyfriend and I broke up and he got a new girlfriend and I still had feelings for him, I'd probably do the same thing in an attempt to win him back. I'd probably consider my own feelings before her's. So I kind of do feel some sympathy for you.

    But then again, until this day, I've never been cheated on and I've never been in love (or done anything) with a guy who had a girlfriend, it's not in my interest. So I don't really have any good advice for you. Hope things work out anyway.

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  74. You are a disgusting person.

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  75. It might take a year, or more, or less. Start waiting. And if you really think you should have him, prove yourself and don't f@ck up.

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  76. this story is sad, yes
    but think about how sad your supposed "best friends" story will be. you are a selfish person and what you are doing has to stop

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  77. LOVED YOUR STORY, I am experiencing similar thing, trust me, waiting will be worth it <3

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  78. you make me sick, that poor girl. think about her, how could you do that. could you not just wait. tell the girlfriend

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  79. If you ended up being with him and thats a BIG IFFF, how would you feel if he cheated on you? He;s already done it once. Yes, everyone makes mistakes but you wouldn't like it done to you so don't do it to someone else. I have been cheated on and its the worst feeling and very very bad for one's confidence and makes future relationships more difficult AND waiting is pathetic.

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  80. I also have been in a similar situation but the guy had a gf and I thought, well no i wouldn't want it done to me. Plus he's been in her, then you, then her - gross. I agree with gabriela and to the person who said "have you ever been in love with some who is with someone else" honestly you're a f*ckwit as that is completely different to cheating. Cheating is basically indirectly telling someone they are worthless, don't deserve honestly and they are unattractive. Honestly, you're trying compare this shit to cheating. I've been in both situations and cheatings fucks you up completely. So i suggest you stpo talking shit and attempting to justify it, trying to say its worse than cheating. It's not.

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  81. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  82. A month ago I was exactly feeling how you are feeling now, in pain, crying, heart broken, and then I found this site saveabreakup.com and I followed their instructions, I had my girlfriend come back to me in no time so fast!! I was so so happy and I'm still very happy, don't give up! I suggest you view the free videos that tell you what to do on saveabreakup.com

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  83. Waiting is NOT worth it. If he truly wanted to be with you, then he would. I have been in your place, and for 3 years I waited. I wasted so many tears on him. He married her a few month ago. Trust me, move on now.

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  84. I don't blame you at all....you love him! and he is unfourtunately leading you on. make him choose...you don't deserve to sit around and wait while he sees other people..!

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  85. Beautifully written, but oh my goodness are you behaving in such an immature and selfish way. I hope you grow up a bit. Soon, hopefully, before you wreck each one of the three lives you talk about. Good luck.

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  86. Attention Haters:

    This girl was writing about ONE MOMENT, one day, one situation. You have no idea what the back stories of these three people are.

    I happen to know all three of these people personally (including the author, but she doesn't know I'm writing this comment), and I also know for a FACT that the girl writing wasn't really trying to seduce him (or did you miss all the parts where she tried to stop him from kissing her?), that the guy wasn't trying to play her but was truly emotionally confused, and that the "poor" and "innocent" girlfriend (whom you know nothing about from this story, by the way)… not to say she DESERVED what happened, because no one deserves that, but let's just say there are significant reasons their love "wasn't real," as quoted in the story.

    I'm not trying to say everyone here is completely innocent, just that you shouldn't make such snap judgments from such a limited perspective.

    Anyway, for those who may still be concerned, boy and his girlfriend broke up (though she did eventually learn what happened here, they didn't break up 'til some time after finding out), boy never got back together with narrator girl, and narrator girl actually became good friends with boy's former girlfriend. Everyone's still on good terms; I just hung out with them a couple weeks ago. It sounds pretty ridiculous, but it's actually true. Happy ending to this story, as crazy as it may be. :)

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  87. bottomline: GIRLS SHUD HAVE BESTFRIENDS WHO R GIRLS.
    haha.
    sigh

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  88. Thank you for your post, pretty helpful material.

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