Wednesday, August 11, 2010

either way


I’m really at a loss as to what I should be doing, perhaps because my mind is clouded by emotion.

I recently began seeing this beautiful person from Peru, who happens to be one of the nicest men I have ever met and dealt with. He reminds me of the kind of man straight out of the 1940’s. He never allows me to pay for anything, he opens every door for me, takes my hand when we are getting on or off vehicles, and when we are with his friends he always stays by my side. I have never experienced anything quite like it and it is wonderful! In addition, when he looks at me with those big brown eyes of his and begins speaking to me in Spanish, I go weak at the knees.

However, I happen to work with him. He is one of the head chef’s in the restaurant I waitress in and our involvement has become highly apparent to the staff because of how flirtatious we are with one another. Due to us being around one another inside and outside of work, we have both become highly attached very quickly, and this is where the problem comes in.

I’m so head over heels for this man. When I’m with him, I feel like a genuine woman, which is something I have never experienced. He came to America to learn about our culture and find a better opportunity for himself. So he went through the proper channels, applied and received a working Visa, and has been here for 4 years. This is good, right? I thought so until a coworker told me that he is apparently looking for someone to marry in order to gain citizenship and move up within the company, but I have no way of proving whether or not this is true. So, it got me thinking, am I setting myself up to be a sort of stepping-stone?

I’m white and he is Peruvian, and I cannot help but feel I’m being ridiculous because I know the stereotypes people hold when they see couples like this. Should I even care because our relationship is somewhat new? Even if it is true, I’m so incredibly happy with him. He is patient with me. When we spend time together, it is as if no one else in the world exists. He is the first man I’ve ever been with that showed me what it means to be passionate. He really is one of a kind.

Maybe I’m not at a loss, maybe it’s just a case of cultural differences becoming apparent. Either way, we make one another happy and I feel lucky that our paths have merged and created something uncommonly beautiful.

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