Wednesday, August 25, 2010

by accident


To put it plainly.... I'm in love with my best friend....NOW lemme explain. I'd like to call this piece.... I TEXT MY BEST FRIEND I LIKE BY ACCiDENT!

So we met briefly 2 years ago when i was about 16 going on 17 because he was my bestfriend's boyfriend's bestfriend (confusing I know). First appearances, he was cute and he was the kinda guy that would listen to you when you spoke.... Very attentive. So I decided to call him up more and start talking to him properly. I eventually told him I liked him, but that didn't go very well because he didn't reply..... he apparently didn't know what to say. It was really weird for a few weeks because we had the same circle of friends and he would act really awkward when we all got together. Like he would give everyone a hug except me... As if I had a disease or something (very childish). But this childish acts became the basis of our best friendship.

Wait there's more..... So the tables turned after a few months he started calling me, and properly explained why he never gave me a proper answer. He said he wasn't in the 'right head space with girls and wasn't really one to show emotion' so I accepted his 'apology', and from on we started talkin about anything and everything. We'd talk almost everyday, we were so close, after a while I didn't even see him as someone I could be initmate with. Whenever I was upset he was always there and whenever he was upset I ALWAYS seemed to be there, come rain or shine. Sometimes He'd be the causes of all my anger but I knew the good and bad stuff, and that's what made me love him more... As a friend. He called me, out of all our friends 'the one he could talk to'.

Life was great, we drifted apart for a while due to busy schedules and stuff but we loved each other too much to let that get in the way....
We got really close and when we chilled with our friends he would say stuff aloud like 'i want her to have my babies' or say 'i love her' out loud which was embarrassing, he'd hold my hand in public and try and kiss me (only on the cheek) but he'd do it in a way that it would look like a public display of affection, he'll say nice things about the way i look and say like 'she's sexy', and all my friends say he treats me different to the rest of the girls around us, (so much for sending mixed signals ah!).
But I used to think nothing of it... I just used to think I'm just his substitute for a girlfriend. Of course it was bad, but I liked it. I liked feeling loved, and not that I needed to feel loved.... I just wanted some attention, you know?
So recently I started liking another guy he made me happy, laughed so much when I was with him, he ticked all my boxes. But i realised i was forcing myself to like this guy. Whenever i thought about things that made me happy and who would make me happy i thought of my best friend. I'm not particularly a girl who Thinks about relationships alot. So when I started thinking about him again 2 years later in that way, i started to feel scared about all the emotions coming back.
So I thought one day I'd be just as brave as I was two years ago and tell him I liked him just start a text to make me feel better.... 'i think I like you' BUT MY I PHONE SENT BY ACCIDENT!!!!
2 days later.... No reply! So I decided to text him the full text. I thought I might as well go for it now! I text him how I liked him and it was only recently that it has started, I basically poured out my heart on a plate for him to eat. 3 days later.... No reply!
My friends saw him at a party and he showed them the text (as if they wouldn't know already) and asked them what he should do. They replied 'just talk to her' he replied 'he doesn't want to say anything because he didn't know what to say'.
After a week I couldn't take the heartache of not talking to my one of my best friend. It may seem crazy but I didn't care that he didn't like me, I just cared if he still loved me as a friend. So I text him and said 'can we just forget about this now, I just wana be us again... I just want to be your friend again'.

ITS BEEN THREE DAYS and he hasn't text back.:(
I'm just disappointed in him, because he couldn't even reply back to the one about us being friends. I'm so torn inside. I'm always goin out of my way to help him through any situation he goes through, and this is my payback. I think he's being a coward. We are a lot more grown than the first time this happened.

And why is it me doing all the chasing? I think it's time for me to take a step back. I don't actually want to let go of this love. It's a nice love.... Makes you feel warm inside. But this no replies business, makes feel he's selfish and not the person i was friends with, or even liked.

I love someone who might not love me back. If he doesn't like me I've come to the conclusion he needs to stop playin mind games with me and just tell me straight. What is going on with us?

I'm in love with my best friend.....


  1. No offense, but i really think you should try to get over that guy. You seem really sweet and deserve the world. I've been in one of those chaser-relationships, where i did everything basically and never knew how he felt about me. I know this answer seems really rough, but you should make yourself and your needs the first priority. That other guy sounds much nicer, but i know that that probably won't matter so much, if you're head over heels in the first guy.

  2. Please follow up with this post i want to hear what happens! i agree with above me, but its hard because you cant really pick who you like or force yourself to like someone when you really dont. Im kind of in the same situation and its sucks. but when you feel like you guys fit and its just right its hard to let go of.

  3. Wow, that's a tough one. He seems like he's very confusing, and if he really was your best friend why would he just ignore your texts? No one knows what he's thinking/feeling except for him, though, so you never know - he could have some feelings for you as more than a friend. But at the same time you do deserve better than getting no response. If he truly loved you like you love him, and like you deserved to be loved then he'd tell you. He does need to stop playing mind games because that's not right at all.

    I'm sorry this comment isn't of much, if any, help. I know it's hard to lose your best friend, so I'd try to get that back, but maybe try to get over him in the love kind of way - way easier said than done, I know. You're so young, though - you'll meet a guy who will treat you like a princess and love you and not be scared/immature like this guy. Good luck with everything, hun.

  4. *hugs* dont worry your best friend being your boyfriend then liying to you isn't that great to your self esteem :(

  5. I've always been the chaser and I've gotten nothing from it. With most of my guy friends it starts out with my crushing on them because they always flirt with me and I end up liking them once I reveal that they shy away. I just pick up my shattered heart pieces and pretend it never happened and we "go back to being friends". I'll say depends how strongly you feel about this guy friendship is the best ship :)

    (I wanna know what happens as well)


  6. honestly hun, you are wasting your time. I know its hard, but I too have been in the same situation a few years ago. I was sooo into this guy and we were like best friends. I kept on getting confused about the mixed messages and all the time we spent together. But in the end, when i told him, he did the same thing. avoided the situation. Do you know why? cos he doesnt know how to tell you that its not how he feels. He is scared he will lose you as a friend, but is too cowardly to tell you he isnt interested. Some guys are just meant to be friends, no more.

    Dont make this guy out to be perfect, or you will never be happy with anyone else. See him for the bad way he has treated you by ignoring you and your feelings instead of just being honest with you.


    this is happening to me right now, im always chasing and running at the same time if that makes sense?

  8. What happened at the end? Do u think that u r gonna talk to him again? :( I hope it goes well.

  9. Aw sweetheart. Follow your own advice, take a step back and watch things unfold without trying to heavily influence it. You made your point. You like him. If a) he likes you back and b) is not a total ass he'll make a move, any move. Whether it'd be letting you down or giving it a shot with you - the ball should be in his court.

  10. What is the deal with all this texting? Why don't you freakin' call him? This seems kind of childish to me.. Call him, or go see him.

  11. I know how mind bendingly horrible it is waiting for someone to have the courtesy to come back to you after something like that. It sucks. If he doesn't have the thought for you to give you a response, any response, he isn't as nice as you thought he was. He's given you all these mixed signals and then made you feel silly again for responding to them in a certain way. He is nowhere near as brave as you are.

    I know it's difficult to listen to advice, especially the advice of strangers. We don't know all the ins and outs right? You can't help who you love. But for the sake of your bruised heart I would cut it, move on. It'll take a really long time to get over it but this isn't doing your heart or your head any good and in order to find that person who is going to love you back the way you deserve you have to let go of this.

    Good luck,

    Love Bean from

  12. I've got the exact same problem. I'm also in love with my best friend who has been playing games with my mind for 3 years now. I'm so tired of it. When we go out, he always try to claim me by biteing me, kissing me on the cheek aswell and stuff like that so he scares all the other guys away. I now it's not good for me, but at the same time I can't be without it. I want more and I've been wanting more for 2 years now. But still, I dont now what would happened if we became something more. maybe it wouldn't be the same. I dont know. He also doesn't answer me when I tell him stuff like that.

    god. I hate being stuck with this and right now, I can't seem to find a way out. I reallyy hope he'll give you an answer and that you will work it out!

  13. guys mostly are the coward- ones. i don't know why is that.
    i think, it's over because 3 days are the maximum which guy don't give answer. you should get over it, sorry, darling. if that's his decision( or maybe he wants to be with himself) than i can't say nothing but- leave him and forget him. others maybe will think i'm a bitch, how could i say that but i'm realistic and guys broke my heart very often so don't trust them. trust your heart and mind. and you'll know what to do next.

    good luck!

    (i used to date with a guy who was elder than me for about 8 years. i thought that he was grown in his mind but after he didn't talk the problems eye to eye so we just end up everything, he said he doesn't want to meet me because he is worried only by himself. and then i realised- i need to break up with him..)

  14. i agree with genesis. and remember that if a guy likes you, he will find anyway to get you. Its not your place to make excuses for him, and remember that sometimes no answer is your answer. im sorry, this sucks.

  15. I've been there. Though he had a crush on me first and it took a year for me to understand he was my missing puzzle. It was too late and alot had happened to both of us. Now It's been 2 years and he's still my number one. I told him this spring what I truly felt, he told me he wanted to be just friends. But 'just friends' turn out to be the most precious thing. I used to doubt it if I could really be friends with him, I thought it would be painful. But it's great, he's there for me and I am there for him. SO the point of this is that, whatever happens try to keep your friendship safe.

  16. This same thing happened to me. I would always sleep over at his place. We would be up all night talking and cuddling. Sometimes when we were around our friends he would randomly kiss me. When I finally confronted him about it he basically said he was such an ass hole blah blah blah. Basically, I had to take a step back from our friendship. I really cared about him, but he would never feel that way. So I let him go. One year later I went to see his band play and we are on good terms. We will never be the friends we were. And although "that love" is warm and comforting. It's unhealthy. I'm sorry girl, but maybe you need to let him go.

  17. Owww sweetheart , you must be depressed now , in my opinion , you should totally let him go , trust me girl , it's the best way , obviously he doesn't give a shit 'bout you , I know that's harsh , but the truth always hurt , you deserve more , follow your mind and you'll find your way .

  18. start dating the other guy you became interested know, the one who "ticked all your boxes" ? then see how your "best friend" reacts.
    i've been in this exact same situation, and my best friend used me.. took advantage of my feelings for him. do not let this happen to you. your best bet is to(and as hard as it is..) delete him from your phone, so you're not tempted to text him anymore.
    i know its hard, but you're so young and you're going to meet so many more people who will impress you or disappoint you. this is such a small stepping stone and its how you deal with it that will determine how he will deal with it.
    if you start dating the other guy and your best friend comes back, tell him he lost his chance - twice.

  19. make sure u tell us what happenes nextttttttttt

  20. Yeah. I'm in love with my bestfriend too. the differences are, he has a girlfriend and i'm not as brave as you. I wish I have the courage to tell him but I know it won't change anything at all. and yeah, I really wanna know what happen next! Pls update us here at least? Thanks in advance!

  21. I don't envy you - you're in the worst possible situation. It either ends with you making a move and it ending (50%), you not making a move and the relationship withering (40%), you making a move and it works out for a bit before falling apart (9%), or you making a move and it works wonderfully (1%). Beats me what you ought to do - good luck to ya.

  22. I'm sorry, but you can't call him a coward when you're the one texting your love for him. Texting your true feelings for him?! Who does that anyway? If you want some sort of response, you should do that face to face.fra

  23. I have been in the exact same situation, only it was during/after I dated him...maybe my situation is unique, but after avoiding the problem of wanting to break up with me (i still don't know the reason -- he claims not to know) and not being open about his feelings for about three years, he's finally beginning to open up.
    But if it takes that's not worth it. you'll move on. and trust me, that's the healthy thing to do. good luck. =]

    And to the person above me: she didn't text him on purpose at first. She only texted her full message because she had already sent the other one on accident so there wasn't really any reason not to get everything out in the open.

  24. This is so wierd, I've been through pretty mush the same thing. I became really close with a guy in my class, we were so tight and I always had so much fun with him. After a while I realized that I liked him, but didn't had the courage to tell him. We grew apart a little but I still liked him. Some time passed by and eventually I decided to tell him what I felt so I send him a text. No reply. Life passed by as usual and still no reply. This was my senior year and we ended up going to prom together where we were holding hands all night. But nothing more happend. We went our seperate ways and I almost never see him anymore.

    Point is, I know what you're going through. This guy will probably always have a special part of your heart but life goes on, no matter how hard it is. I wish you the best of luck, and as I said, I know exactly what you're going through.

  25. he's just not that into you. you're fabulous, go find someone else who will treat you like a queen. and there's a reason your best friends and not dating. try to keep it that way.

  26. Honey, you seem so sweet that's hard saying this, but i've ben through the exactly same situation a few years ago and i'll just say: back off.

    If someone likes you, he'll do his best do be with you. This is a certain fact. He may think you're sweet and like to have you around but honestly i think that this is it: he likes to have you around, to have a girl who likes him - he probably already knew before you tell him.

    You shouldn't chase anybody, you're such a sweet girl. Eventually you'll like somebody - and have this same warm feeling - and you'll be loved back, and see it's 100 times better than this.

    Other loves will come, believe me. Until there, let it go. And if you really feel you can't, go ahead and say all this in front of him, or at the phone. So there will be no way to him to ignore you. Demand a answer, if you need. But from now, now you may already got one.

  27. dear owner of this blog,
    i don't think it was cool that you deleted all of the other comments that weren't condoning this girl's actions. you are not doing her any favors. instead, by leaving only the comments that support her choices in cheating and degrading herself, you give her a skewed perception that her actions are ok, that she isn't worth more than going behind someone else's back and waiting around for a loser guy who is playing two women. you have also lost a fan in me because it shows that you are biased. you shouldn't delete comments just because they seem "mean," those are opinions and feelings of your followers and fans. you obviously do not value them enough to keep them. i am extremely disappointed and don't think i will be following as closely anymore.

  28. and this is my payback. I think he's being a coward.

    That is not love. Love is giving without receiving.

  29. Sweetheart, I am so so sorry. But I have to tell you now, you have to start to get over him and move on. I was in the same position, except my best friend was in five of my classes and he completely ignored my existence. I took emotional abuse from him for almost a year, and you know what? I still love him. You can't just get over love, you will always have those feelings. But he's already not treating you right. He's pulling a typical guy move and is pulling away the moment you mention feelings. Unloading it through text is even worse because he can ignore that- but you can't ignore face to face interaction. So, I am so so sorry. It's not going to be easy. You're not just going to find another guy, but you have to live, dear. You have to live and find the things that make you happy outside of him before you find yourself destroying yourself from the inside out.

    Stay strong, sweetheart. You're amazing. : )

  30. honestly. he's not that into you. please read this and memorize it, if a guy likes you, he will ask you out, he won't play games. and you're also always there, which doesnt help the guy hunting for them prize thing, basically means they like to chase after a girl and when they get her display her as a prize, proud to be with her and knowing she's all his. so please forget about him, who knows if he'll ever feel the same, just get over him and back off as if nothing was ever going to happen. kill the hopes, and back away so that you can forget him.

  31. If he doesn’t reply, don’t waste your time. He’s a man and a man is supposed to do what he supposes to do now. No reply for too long isn’t healthy so move on.
    Hope this helps

  32. I agree with everyone. It is a very confusing situation. Some people (mainly guys) do not value friendship like everyone. But you need to respect yourself and not allow him to treat you like that. Don't talk to him for a while, hang out with friends, have fun. And when you are ready and if you still want to be friends, contact him again.

  33. if he's a good enough friend, he'll at least talk to you about things.
    if you realise that you're doing all or most of the chasing, step back. realise that you're better than this. a relationship that's good for you in an equal one. If things don't work out like you want them to, step back and look forwards and know that waiting for you in a different future is somehting better for you.

  34. I understand where you're coming from. You have the right idea now it's just a matter of making it happen. He is too immature to admit what he feels and thinks things will be different if the two of you are more than friends. It's best to let him go and move on, you deserve better than "no reply".


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