Sunday, June 27, 2010

i don't believe in love anymore.


coupdegrâce.

I don't believe in love anymore. I once was love's biggest fan. I loved love. I believed in love at first sight, true love, soul mate, all that mushy-gushy stuff the best songs and books are written about. It's what every little girl dreams about. One day my prince will come....blah blah blah. I used to believe in love. I was in love, like I'm talking head over heals, stars in your eyes in L-O-V-E. I loved you with all my heart even though I knew you weren't perfect. You were always more sure about us. Then we broke up for a summer, but our hearts led us back together after three months of not ever really being broken up. When I walked in on you and her in bed, I thought my world would end. But time heals all wounds right? And you were so sorry and it was the biggest mistake of your life and I took you back once again. We were happy again and more in love than ever. Then you said you wanted to move in together when the summer ended. And from there we would live happily ever after, you even knew how you wanted to propose but wouldn't tell me the surprise. I was living every girls fantasy. Against the odds we were soul mates made for one another. You went on your graduation trip across Europe and wrote me romantic emails. Then an e-mail came from six time zones away saying it had all been a lie. A lie? Three years was a lie? What should I be more upset about my broken dreams and broken heart, or the fact that I fell for it? Only fools fall in love, and love played me like a fiddle. So I don't believe in love anymore. Because if you don't believe in love there is nothing to cry about, and I don't have anymore tears to cry. So I gave up on love because it gave up on me.

80 comments:

  1. This is so sad!

    But love hasn't given up on you, I thought it did for me, but I was wrong, and I was okay with being wrong

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  2. This is sad; and also my reality as well.

    Life is hard. Love is harder.

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  3. does it always have to be from a girls perspective.....? thats sad

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  4. She may be right - if you don't believe in love, there is nothing to cry about.

    But love isn't love without heartache. It's the darkness of tear-filled nights that make the days of love shine.

    Best wishes to the author.
    Please don't give up on love. It will never give up on you.

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  5. I've tried the same thing...

    and my God it hurts..
    but her heart will eventually heal again, someday.

    Thanks for your great le- blogs.

    Kisses and have a great summer
    Heidi Fantasio

    www.fantasioas.blogspot.com

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  6. "To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead." -Bertrand Russell

    Don't give up on love just yet. It may sure not seem like it now, because it really, really hurts. But it will get better eventually. It always does. It may not be perfect or exactly the way it was before, but it always get's better.

    Maybe love just wanted you to have it all to yourself for right now, instead of having to share.

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    Replies
    1. I understand exactly what you mean. Its hard to also love somebody else when you cant forget the one who has your heart.

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  7. I really relate to this story because I'm a big romantic and I give chances to love someone but then they all let me down. So for now, I don't even want to think about love...because it just hurts too much in the end.

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  8. Oh my God! I just found this blog because a friend of mine recomended it and I totally LOVE your writing. FINLLY someone who writes about what really MATTERS. I recently stoped believing in love myself. The one person I thought was THE ONE for me, said he didn't love me anymore. After 2,5 years. Just like that, it came from nowhere. How am I suppose to beleive in love when the one person I thought was the only one for me, don't love me? I'd liked to beleive that there are more than ONE soulmate out there for us. I mean one, out of 6 billion? It's ridicoulus! Ayway, lot's of love from your swedish reader!

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  9. oh sweetie , I totally know how you feel , that's so sad , trust me , I've been through this before but I've totally get over it , it's just a matter of time , believe me , you'll forget this , just focus on what's matter more in your life .

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  10. Love is retarded. It's just the way it is. It sucks big time. But I'm in love, so badly. I hate it, but I love it at the same time. I'm just happy that he's in love with me too, it's wonderful. But still, I hate it. The way love controls me, scares me.

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  11. I've felt this thousand of times. And said always the same, "never again". But then, love is a bitch that wants more, and always keep me inside it spiral again. And it would happend to you, dear. To everyone.

    I think the trick is not taking it too serious. Just think "oh, wow, lovely" and smile. Taking out the tears and keeping the good things inside.

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  12. I am so moved by this post... as i have just been through the same thing. But I am a girl who loved a man with all her heart, loved a man with every ounce of my being, and was played, was cheated on, was made to feel insignificant and worthless. This girl who believed love was the answer, this girl who thought love was the most beautiful gift in this world, this girl who thought she had found the man to love until the end of time, no longer believes in love. Thank you for this post. We must stay strong. I don't know you, but I know your pain and I feel your heart.

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  13. Ah babe, no one wants to say this, but it's the guy who gave up on you, not love. Love don't give up one anybody. Love don't hurt (as much as people like to claim) and love certainly don't make you cry, even if you cry, it's gonna be tears of joy. Love, believe in it. Just be picky of whom you're gonna love :)

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  14. And I used to think I knew what true love is. I used to think that I was the luckiest person in the world because I was in love for the right person. I love everything from this post and this is the most identical thing to my reality that I have ever read.
    I totally understand what you mean. How can we give more love from our hearts if they're empty? We try and try and it is always the same dissapointment. But I have to agree with you guys over there, a sure thing is that love never gives up on us. We give up on love thinking of all the awful things we have been through but we can't give up of anything. If you look for love, you don't have to give up on it.

    - M

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  15. The last line, heartbreaking, but beautiful.

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  16. How could you give up on love when you once had and felt it?
    You did FEEL something once and that means that it still excists, doesn't it?

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  17. why give up so quickly?

    http://lovers-shore.blogspot.com

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  18. There's a true love for everyone, now you are one broken heart closer to finding that person. Love doesn't ever give up on anyone, what you've experienced was something hurtful.. And even though it feels like it was true love, please see it as an experience that makes you stronger in the long run. I wish for you to see the good things in life and love; You can have a thousand reasons why something is wrong, but only one reason why it is right, in order for it to work.

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  19. Her words & story is so sad. but ''A life without love. is no life at all.'' and to love is to be hurt..in order to appreciate true love when it appears..its not so much stop believing in love..but to be selective with who you give your heart to..in some cases people can change once they make terrible mistakes..but that change may also not always be actively visible..ultimately love will always hurt..in some way or form..whether through heartache..hurtful disputes or distance..& happily after is working through the hurt you encounter..with the willingness of the other person..happily after is when you can kiss & make up after arguments..there is no perfect love..or love situation..love was once something foreign to me..until he came along..

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  20. I understand where your coming from but ill tell you this, you have to believe in something or life loses its meaning and you stop living and just start existing.

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  21. i am really sorry about what happened. for me.. i was with a guy for 4 years close to 5.. and we were in love, planned the future.. as soon as i graduated college we would get married, be together forever.. and he calls me randomly one ngiht , from the same time zone, told me i wasn't the one for him. and hung up.

    soo wonderful things end, but enables more beautiful things to begin.
    time heals all wounds. take it slow. you got it.

    and one day your heart will love someone more than you culd ever imagine.

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  22. I agree, there are no more tears to cry..thanks for writing, its exactly what's happening to be minus some details.

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  23. The fact that you wrote this proves that you believe in love. You believe that it's real, and that it exists, because you know it and you felt it. You just don't trust love anymore. But love is not a person. Love is not what breaks your heart. PEOPLE hurt you. Love doesn't hurt you. Love SOMETHING, even (and especially) if it's just yourself. These experiences will make you wiser and stronger, and when the RIGHT person comes around, the truly RIGHT person, you can thank this sorry excuse for a lover for breaking your heart so that your soul mate could fix it.

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  24. i know. exactly. how. you. feel. right now.

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  25. he may not, but we (and your friends) love you :)

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  26. dont give up, hang on with all your might. give yourself faith, courage and determination to walk on.

    believe in love, tell the universe that you want to be healed. PLEASE hang on <3 <3

    sending lots of love to you, wherever you are.

    xxxxxx

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  27. right now i feel the same. i hate giving up all control and letting yourself be fooled because you dont want to lose what you thought was your everything. i hope you can get through this, you and i both.

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  28. Dont be sad because it's over, smile because it happend. You dont know what I would to be in your place. to have felt those feelings. I never been happy with a boy. I would go through anything to have your hours you had- before he did what he did. It was awful, i know. But how happy have you been? How fucking happy have you been. I feel like i'll never experince something like that

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  29. That text really touched my soul. So beautiful, and sad ofcourse. there is love for everyone, my dear.

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  30. Love is so freakin' hard and I am so sorry for you.. :(

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  31. ive been through that several times. love sucks

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  32. I just think of the Alfred Lord Tennyson quote " 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. "

    Yup.

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  33. Omg, this is actually just like me. Down to the breaking up for a summer, the cheating. Its scary how this can happen so often!

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  34. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ICnk-gWx8A

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  35. You can't taste the sweet until you've tasted the bitter. Give yourself time to heal and then try again.

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  36. Love is hard, Love hurts....

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  37. your post touches: it's as if you are talking about my love experience, my desilution, my bitterness. I would like to believe in love, to meet the one who will always be there for me, the one who will make me dream, laugh, sharing simple life's pleasures.
    3Years ago, i thought was living the pure bliss in love. But i was wrong, he just cheated me all that time, making me believe that i was the one. He has broken me.
    Now, time has passed, it was hard but i found myself again, i appreciate life again, but what what misses me is love, the real.
    I come to the conclusion that it's not for me when i see all my friends being in love. I'm not jealous at all, it's just when i found someone, there's always a thing which goes wrong. I hope one day i will come back to write you "i've found my soulmate", i'm trying to be optimistic...

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  38. Never give up on love ... <3
    I know it hurt
    but
    fate changes so that one day you'll be in love with a different guy even more than you were before.

    keep the faith.

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  39. I am on pause when it comes to love.

    It's too easy to get lost in it.

    I find forcing myself to keep a distance while dating exhausting, but then I remember how much more difficult being in love is. At least when it's not right. And for me, it never seems to be the right time.

    So I just hit pause. And I'll resume once it is the right time. I haven't given up on love. I've just turned my back on it until it's time.


    Don't give up on love, just rest up for a bit.

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  40. :( I experienced almost the exact same thing. Almost. It hurts a lot...

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  41. my heart has been broken by someone who led me to believe i was the one. he meant the whole world to me and he took my world along with him when he left.

    sometimes i feel like i can never believe in love anymore. i wish it didn't even exist. but deep down inside, i know that we can never live without love. i want more than anything else to be loved again, held again... for someone to love me for who i really am.

    you are cynical, because just like me, we are disappointed idealists.

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  42. Listen,
    L-O-V-E DOES exist! Everybody feels like you are feelling at least once. Otherwise, someone has not lived at all. You have to understand that that guy was not for you, and you ware right to believe. We always have to believe in love.
    For a moment i could see me like you in the past, and now i´m here giving you my testimony that true love DOES EXIST!

    I recommend you to give yourself a time and start loving you firt. It will get easier to start love somebody else again.

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  43. I'm at the same place as you are. My boyfriend of 4 years gave up on us just like that, without reasons... when all along we have been planning for our wedding... our future together. He said he has been lying for a year... it broke my heart to know that when we were happily planning, he was secretly planning for his escape.

    I'm still trying to survive everyday, little by little. This has completely shattered my belief of true love.

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  44. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  45. Wouldn't you rather know you were cheated once or twice and truly lived, than never having lived at all? I don't think it is possible to truly give up on love, because secretly you never stop hoping.

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  46. So just because you met some asshole you thought you loved makes you give up on it so easily. I don't get how you loved him when you saw him fucking some other girl with your own eyes. I'm a guy and his apology sounds like he was just bullshitting. I mean how cliche of a situation for a guy to be caught cheating and say sorry and wanna stay with you. If you didn't catch him he wouldve just been cheating on you more cause he could. He did it once what wouldve stopped him if you didn't catch him. And you expect there to be a perfect life with that kind of person. Don't give up on love because of an asshole. Go and find a real man who would never cheat on the person he loves and see what it really feels like to be in love

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  47. I'm sorry to ruin everyone's thoughts, but movies, books and tv have screwed up everyone's idea of love so much that when real life doesn't live up to what they thought, they are heartbroken. So no, love doesn't exist at all. Love for children, family, things, ideas is real. But relationships it is not. Love will not save a relationship. There is so much more to it than that. You need respect, honesty, yadda yadda. But in the end, you will fall out of love eventually and have to fall back on other principles to keep you together. The idea of "true love", and "soul mates" is a joke made up by romanticsm and people trying to make money off of women's soft emotions.

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  48. i dont believe in love either, i've never had a boyfriend yet my heart has been broken twice. this last time was the worst n it wont happen again. im both happy yet sorry 4 ppl who fall for it bc it can either turn out 2 ways. they can endure and find more good times than bad, or they can end up crushed, picking up the pieces of their broken world. i love myself too much to get hurt again. so im building up a wall and i doubt there is anyone who will b strong enough 2 tear it down. if that man actually exists and find success it tearing down the wall... i guess i'll become a believer, but until then, im content here on the dark side.

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  49. "I'm sorry to ruin everyone's thoughts, but movies, books and tv have screwed up everyone's idea of love so much that when real life doesn't live up to what they thought, they are heartbroken. So no, love doesn't exist at all. Love for children, family, things, ideas is real. But relationships it is not. Love will not save a relationship. There is so much more to it than that. You need respect, honesty, yadda yadda. But in the end, you will fall out of love eventually and have to fall back on other principles to keep you together. The idea of "true love", and "soul mates" is a joke made up by romanticsm and people trying to make money off of women's soft emotions."

    I'm sooo sorry you feel that way!
    I believe, no wait, I know that ain't true. :) If you want to have it like that, it sure is possible :). believe me.

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  50. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  51. I don't believe there are enough people out there that are true. Love is wonderful, but the world we live in is full of dishonest people who are more dedicated to themselves than to committments. People who get married that don't have any REAL intention of standing by their vows. Why would anyone want to be in love? It's just too risky anymore.

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  52. Post his name big and often to warn all of the other uinsuspecting girls!!!!All men like this should come with signs on their foreheads!

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  53. To those saying 'how could you give up on love' and so on, I understand completely. I got into a relationship for the first time after being terrified all my life because the only men that had been in my life were jerks, abusers, lazy, incompetent, and criminals. For a year it was great, and I thought I'd really found my true love. Then he broke up with me, left me for another girl. I can't trust enough to love again. For a year this guy told me he loved me more than his own life, then threw me away like I was nothing. You doubters try moving on after someone lied to you like that.

    To the blogger, I'm so sorry for your loss, and I feel your pain. :( I hope for speedy healing for you.

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  54. Love is a action not a feeling. To share to nurture to give of yourself without expecting something in return selflessness all of those things are actions and if you believe in that you will find the right one for you someone who can show you better than they can tell you remember actions speak louder than words.

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  55. You will recover, but you will not be the same person. Many people go through this. Guys are idiots. Take it from me, I know-my ex-husband cheated on me. I loved (and loved-past tense) him very much.
    LIFE GOES ON!

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  56. I'M THE ANONYMOUS FROM ABOVE. THIS WAS 1O YEARS OF MY YOUTH...CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY. FIND SOMEBODY BETTER!

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  57. HE IS OUT THERE WAITING FOR YOU!

    GO FIND HIM!

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  58. omg sad story :"(
    but i think mine is worse .-.

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  59. Amen! Love played me for 6 years. Im only nineteen and I gave up. Hardest. Thing. Ever.

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  60. I have to say it is really a good post. I have learnt a lot. Thank you!

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  61. I am a guy. I've been hurt. Matter of fact I'm still hurting. I love this girl. I love her. I know I do because its not selfish, its not lustful, its honest, It gave me happiness for a little bit and after that happiness it now stabs at me every once in a while. reminding me of her. which is everyday I breath, or am doing something, or by myself. I can't stop to just think to myself or she will pop into my head. always without fail. it makes me want to ball up and cry. she doesn't care about me anymore. and I love her so much I will never wish her harm or anything bad. I can't. I will forgive her everytime she apologizes. Its such a double edged sword; to be able to love. anyways. to all the women here. guys and girls go through the same problems. don't let your perspective fool you. its sad to say but my heart is shutdown. I can't, won't fall in love. my brain is literally in a self preservation mode.

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  62. I'm talking to a guy and he has been hurt really bad with love he actually lost his love she just disappeared .. Out of know where.. He told me the story and now he doesn't believe in love or saying I love u. Not even bye.. He says I don't say bye to people because he is gonna see me again and talk to me again he says people miss use the word bye like they won't ever talk or see each other again.. And it just hurts what if I fall in love with him.. He won't feel the same I'm scared I don't want to get hurt and I don't know what to do . Please help

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  63. I just ended it with the guy who i thought i would allways be with..It hurts more than ever.All the good memories i shared with him allways comes to my mind.We were together for a year long distance wise.I actually thought we would meet one day and spend the rest of our lives together..I' ll never understand why he changed and did all those horrible things to me...as much as i want to hate him my heart doesnt let me.I truely loved this guy,and i hate how im feeling.

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  64. I feel the EXACT same way. After 10 failed relationships in the course of 7 years of getting dumped by guys, i've just realized that i just don't trust guys nor "love" period anymore.


    And with lots of attention camera whores trying to do sexy poses while showing their ass & tits off or taking thousands of useless pics of themselves on social medias like facebook, twitter, pornsites & shit, makes "love" look even more laughable.


    I haven't been in a serious relationship in 2 years. And usually at this point, i would feel sad & get very jealous of people in relationships. But honestly, i couldn't be happier than ever. I'm growing more & finding more about MYSELF each & everyday. When i was in relationships, i ALWAYS had to watch what my actions & what i say so i wouldn't fuck up and risked getting dumped again. SOOO glad i don't have to do that shit anymore. Now i only focus on me & ONLY me now.


    This may sound stupid of what i'm about to say *shrug*:
    but i would rather be a hoe(since most guys just want sex), than to walk around getting played like a fool by a guy who takes my heart & feelings for granted.


    If i would've known that "love" & getting into relationships was gonna be this shitty, i would've stayed single for the rest of my life.


    So in the words of the late Amy Whinehouse:
    "love is a losing game"

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  65. Life is just not fair and it doesn't make sense.Everything starts to lose its meaning. I have been heart broken for the past two years and I have done everything I could have done to make myself and my life better and yes I am stronger and yes I like myself but that void is there. It is just so hard to think that what I felt wasn't good for me or wasn't true cause it felt like it was the best thing so innocent and true or it is still...

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  66. 12 years of my life lost to mine...One quarter of my adult life and finally I couldn't handle the abuse anymore. Good luck to the person who tries to get through...although whoever does is in for a real treat.

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  67. oh girl... you are preaching to the choir.
    @ little bug~ your comment are my words exactly!!!! I looked at your name to comment to you and...weird...the date you posted your comment is the 2 year anniversary of the day I met my heartbreaking love. so strange.

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  68. You need to break someone's password because you dont have trust?
    We are here for you!!
    You just have to say and we Will do all the work.
    I am waiting to help you!!
    discovermypass@yahoo.com

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  69. Guy here. Been crushed and will never let anyone in again, ever, period. Way too many years down the drain. Wish I knew then what I know now. I understand your pain ladies. It's the kind of pain that you can't put into words. Don't know if I'm stronger, but I'm one heck of a lot wiser. I wouldn't go back to the idiot I used to be for all the tea in China.

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  70. Me too. A romantic at heart. Love so many romantic movies. So complicated, I was there for him cause I believed in love. Then when I tried to let go, he came back and would start texting me. Talk about confused. But I think I'm letting go cause I'm tired. I got nothing to run to, as far as "In love" with someone else. But honestly, I'm tired. I'm done with love. And I'm such the person who use to believe love conquers all. Go figure. I'm on a new path!

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  71. Heres a poem that I wrote for all you special women out there

    All you women lie about wanting a good guy
    But realy what you women want is nothing but the bad guy

    Nice guys have no chance in a relationship these days
    What the hell all us good guys should disappear just go away

    Maybe if it happened it will teach all you women a lesson
    To start excepting the good guys they may bring you heaven

    All you drama queens should stop your crying
    You deserve what you get and I aint lying.

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  72. Its very hard to give your heart again after being broken.

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  73. Almost 100% of the people in the world today are smartass shitheads. They ain't elevated over animals one tiny bit. I'll tell you why.
    Lets do it again.
    First of all, it was YOUR choice to fall in love with the said person. Remember, your very existence is owed to love. But, love towards a man/woman is always a choice. It is not blind.
    You said that you love your other half from the bottom of your heart, and promised to be with him/her forever, come what may, and all that blah blah along these lines, right?
    SO
    KEEP YOUR PROMISE.
    Be miserable. Be sad. Its natural to feel like this after something like that. Don't think that he/she left you high and dry. But the important thing is to keep a smile on your face. Be polite. Be patient. Be pure. Have faith, and your love shall win in the end.

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  74. That was very poetic and well written. It touched me as I as well have given up on love.

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  75. Wow, that almost had me in tears and then I read the rest of the comments and that pushed me over the edge. I do believe, and have always kept the faith, even though I await mine. Found a site about it also, I added it to the webiste bit.
    Thanks you so much for an amazing post.

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  76. with so many women that are not nice to meet anymore, it is very difficult for many of us men that are looking.

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