Tuesday, May 25, 2010

the glass girl


dhnn_studio (modified)

I feel like I am made of glass. And at any moment, all my pieces could shatter and break. It's always easier to blame other people isn't it? It would be easy to say that he did this to me, that he became such a part of my soul, that his departure from my life sent me spiraling out of control. And maybe to an extent that's true. There's no doubt that I gave my heart to a boy who ran so far away with it that I'm not sure it will ever really come back. But to put all that blame on him would be naive, and I would never want to flatter him in that way. The truth is, I was broken before he came barreling into my life. And now that he's gone, I'm just one step closer to shattering. My problem isn't making someone else fall in love with me, it's falling in love with myself. I've struggled for years to be happy with who I am, and I made the mistake of letting someone else try to make me happy, make me more alive. But how can I fault someone for falling out of love with me, when I have never even loved myself?

38 comments:

  1. I feel the exact same way.
    It feels like I've already broken; not quite shattered, but cracked in ways I will never be able to conceal or recover from.
    I need to learn to love myself, too; to be at peace with the world and myself in it.

    Hang in there, hun.
    You're not alone.

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  2. i know exactly how u feel... ::hugs::

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  3. I'm so fragile too.
    I find hard to let people in, knowing that they could make me crack and shatter even further.

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  4. 'You gotta love yourself before you can ever love me'

    -Lifehouse

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  5. Oooh that picture is so cool!! Who knows how to do that? Sad story though.. <3

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  6. right there with you. <3

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  7. I've recently just came to this realization myself, and decided to make a change. I can finally, for the first time in my life, say that I am really starting to love myself. It took a broken heart to realize it, but what matters now is the fact that I did realize it. And now that you know the problem, you've already made the first step at changing it. You're a strong person for admitting & realizing this, so just keep going with it. You don't need a man to make you happy - you yourself have to be happy alone before you can be in a good, healthy relationship.

    Good luck - you will be fine in time. Just keep on pushing & keep on remembering how strong you are.

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  8. I still can't love myself cause I'm trying to figure out who I am.

    When that happens, I truly hope I love her.

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  9. love this blog :)

    www.pouncetiger.blogspot.com

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  10. You are not alone, unfortunately. Hopefully we will fall in love and make ourselves happy, it is the only way.

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  11. You will love yourself one day even if it's just a little bit more (: it's not an easy road, i hope you find someone who would make you love yourself more.

    Somewhere out there, there'll be someone who would wish to tell you

    " i wish you could see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realise how truely special you are "

    <3

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  12. I truely love what you said ayozi!! Amazing! I am straggling very much to love myself for years and years now..
    and its a hard and long road for sure but it worth it at the end!

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  13. How do you always find the right words to describe these feelings? Simply amazing. (:

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  14. The truth is that we are all human beaing and we are all have the feeling that we are made of glass!!!! How fragile we are... as Sting sings.. :-)

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  15. we're all fragile, especially when we're in love.
    http://lovers-shore.blogspot.com/

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  16. I've struggled with loving myself too. It's sad that so many of us feel this way.

    I've gone through many heartbreaks, giving myself to someone else, becoming someone I'm not to make another person happy, and in the end hating myself even more. I became self-destructive and self-loathing.

    What I realized is that I was too focused on the other person and not enough on myself. I've discovered something about myself along the way though...I love to run.

    And when I run, I'm on my own, doing something for myself without anyone else in mind. When my mind slips to things that don't make me happy, I push myself to go faster and leave those thoughts behind.

    Sometimes, it just takes a jumpstart, something to make you focus only on yourself.

    I'm running a half-marathon soon, and then maybe a marathon...and I feel good and love myself for believing in myself to do something just for me.

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  17. this is the brutal truth. and written beautifully

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  18. That's painful, but beautiful too. And the picture matches perfectly.

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  19. i know this feeling.. but it will be okey.. it must be!

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  20. The Most Important Relationship You Have In Your Life,
    Is The Relationship You Have With Yourself.

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  21. This is perfect.
    So simplistic, yet it's tearing at my heart because I am that "glass girl" and I think a lot of us are.

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  22. yep. this is me word for word. i've struggled with so many issues with my image, i've put my body through so much, it makes me crazy and insecure.

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  23. Elle (above post) - I hope you're reading this because I've been in your position and I still am in your position... struggling everyday
    You aren't alone and I want you to know that !

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  24. Even if you do love yourself, you can not protect yourself from pain when a loved one takes their love away. It is part of life and it's awful, and I'm not sure there's any other pain to rival it. The truth about life is that what goes up always comes down one way or another and we just have to hang in there and find the love and little bits of joy we can while we ride out the storm.
    I really feel for you and my heart goes out to you. I know exactly how you feel. xx

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  25. Don´t forget that YOU is the most important person in youre life! You are beautiful, everyone is beautiful!

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  27. I am too trying to first fall in love with myself..before I love someone else. It seems so hard sometimes...I feel selfish. Great blog!:)

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  28. Story of my life. Hang in there.
    Beautiful story.

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  30. i was like that. but before that i was already lost and numb. then a boy had to make me feel i belonged in this world again. and he said he didnt wanna give my heart back.

    he did as he said.
    he left without giving it back

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  31. This is exactly how i feel. I fooled myself into believing that i knew who i was and that i loved taht oerson only to let some guy in and shatter into little pieces. It was then that i realized that i didnt love me i loved the iea of who i made myself out to be. This is beautifully tragic. I hope that you one day love your self with all your heart and that you find that person willing to be there even though there are cracks in the fased that is you [us-all people that can relate].

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  32. loving yourself is the best thing you can do to yourself.
    I know exactly how u feel.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHcKW4O_9Ro&feature=PlayList&p=0F010C9AED03D6C6&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=32

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  33. I could have written that about myself :'(
    Perfectly sums up exactly how I feel, completely. And how I have always felt, and will always feel.

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  34. Oh this is perfect. It's crazy how so many people can feel the same way about relationships in their life. Kind of comforting to know there are others going through tough times as well

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