Sunday, May 30, 2010

give up on love or die trying?


scarleth white

Love is something wonderful, so they say. And I've trusted them, until right now.

How come I haven't experienced what everyone's talking about? "It comes when it comes," my very-much-in-love-friend said with a smile. "I didn't search for it, it came to me." She flashed another smile. Those two sentences felt like a knife through my chest. So, I'm just supposed to wait? I don't want to wait no more. I've been waiting and searching for almost 19 long years. I want to be able to feel, touch and taste the "love" that is supposed to be out there. Because love, that is what I've answered when people ask what I think life is all about. But now I don't know anymore. Because I can't keep hoping, waiting and praying for it to appear forever. Because then I will die without having to experience life, since the whole meaning with life is just that- love. It hurts for me to realise that love is all around me but somehow I'm not even allowed to have a tiny, small piece.

Should I give up on love, or die trying?

/F

88 comments:

  1. So I'm not the only person who thinks/feels this way. I'm 22 (a grandma) and have never been in love =(

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    1. How in the name of goodness can you be a Grandma at 22?

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  2. Always be open to love. Your friend is right: the love that is right for you will come to you. I have searched for love many times, and each time found something rotten or cancerous. When I stopped actively looking for love, the right person came to me.

    I'm not saying it's easy. It's hard. You may feel hopeless when no one seems to look your way. But keep your heart open. Always embrace possibilities. Above all, love and value yourself. I promise you that love will come if you outwardly "give up."

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  3. i know how you feel..
    ive always believed in true love and love conquers all but i have never actually been in romantic love and im waiting.. waiting for the day to come when i will finally experience what some many people have.
    i basically have stopped trying to find it but im still waiting.. one day it will happen for all of us.. i hope

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  4. People get discouraged because they don't understand that love is a verb...it's not really a "thing" to look for. Love yourself and the world around you, for it is very beautiful if you take the courage to see it that way. If you truly love in that kind of way, you will not feel the need for this romance you speak of (it's just a nice little bonus).

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  5. Rebel Without A Cause, don't worry. You're still very young!!! I'm 21 and fell in love for the first time last year... With no effort at all. We were not expecting it.
    A cousin invited me to a pub, where she would meet a friend and his cousins. I was already in my pajamas, ready to sleep, and said "no" immediately. But she insisted.
    I don't know why but minutes later I was on my way. And I met him. We fell in love. Just like that. And I'm sure he is the one.
    You will find someone soon, don't worry!!! In the meantime learn to love yourselves, others, and try to become as good as you can. Build yourselves up. Find who you are and what you want. Write it down, share it. That will help.
    And good luck!!!

    I love this blog

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  6. definitely die trying <3

    http://sunshinydaymiss-jean.blogspot.com/

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  7. Sometimes when you stop searching so much, don't look so hard, and enjoy what you have, love finds it's way into your life. Mine just did. He is worth the wait. Love is worth the wait.

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  8. Stop being such a drama queen. You're only 19 and you're still young. You have plenty of time to find love.

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  9. Come on you're 19!!!! If you are already bitter and sad no way you will fall in love... it will happen when it will happen.... why rush? I was 19 when I first fell in love and had a boyfriend/love ever since in the last 7 years... even though it is great I kinda wish I ws single sometimes, to be able to spend more time with girlfriends hobbies.... etc. dont worry babe... he's coming, but not if you're desperately look for him, take it easy!
    xxx

    http://gypsy-diaries.blogspot.com/

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  10. is nice to know im not the only one that feels that way... im 20 and still havent felt love or have been in love... i hate it.. and what i hate the most is that everyone says that you dont have to look for it, that it will come.. but how am i suppose to NOT look for it when i want to fee it so bad? feel the love everyone around me feels... it drives me crazy to know that i am wasting my time not feeling dizzy or butterflies for a man. ive lost hope...

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  11. Don't give up, sweetheart.

    My whole life, I never rushed to find love because I know it'll look for me when I least realize it..I know the right man will find me and he did, out of nowhere. 20 years of being single was worth it and I'm happy now with my love.

    So I hope love will find its way into you when it's right :)


    M.S.

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  12. Hey, here is some hard advice. Love isn't something you find by searching but rather something you stumble upon when you aren't looking. So find something you are passionate about, a hobby, a goal and fall in love with that. And one day, the very day you aren't look is when true love will come a knocking.
    I can one hundred percent promise you that.
    X, Becca

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  13. I sometimes just want to stop thinking about it, love that is... I want real love, that consuming wonderful and full of butterflies love. I think I was in love once... I think I still am, and still going to be. 8 months passed by since I first felt it and it didn't stop. Too bad I'm not with the guy, too bad we're just best friends. :)

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  14. Yeah! You are too young for disappointments:-) Darling you just love yourself and the people around you! Love life! and love itself will come along without know from where it come:-)
    Hope Hope Hope!

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  15. I'm 20 years old but I've fall in love one , since then I didn't fall in love 'cause I've felt a heart-broken , it hurts to be in love , trust me , I don't wanna be in love anymore .

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  16. A lot of these answers are good, but here is my take on it, personally.

    You need a source of income. Do you wait around and hope and pray for one to come, or do you go out and try to find a job?
    You go out and try to find a job.

    Love is the same way. If you're not open and trying, you won't find much unless you're one of these lucky people that are 'well I wasn't trying' (I bet you 100$ they were in some way, anyway). You try, you get burned and hurt, and you learn from it.

    It's better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.

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  17. of all the posts i've ever read on Le Love, this is THE post i can relate to 100% ! how are people like this supposed to feel ?? how do we go about living our lives ?

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  18. I'm much older than you and have only felt real love once, and it was for someone I couldn't have. The pain of that was (still is) horrendous. But I have faith that love attracts love. Try to love the life you have. Spending your energy on anything else is a waste.

    Imagine yourself as an 80 year old looking back on your time as a 19 year old. You're in an amazing, powerful time in your life. Love it!

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  19. Honestly, don't look for it.
    It's like looking for a perfect pair of boots and never finding them.
    The love gods are just like the shopping gods, totally annoying.

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  20. hopelessromanticMay 31, 2010 at 6:54 AM

    everyone here think that u are too young to worry bout it...but i totally understand how u feel..im 26 this year and tho i was in love once...it was 6 years ago...i was very heartbroken but yet deep down i still believe in true love and that one day my true love will come n heal my fragile little heart...but its been 6 years since then and i still yet to find it...its disappointing and frustrating at the same time...sometimes its not that we wanna be pessimistic and think negatively...but sometimes we just cant help it when reality hit us in the face...i ask myself everyday...does true love really exist?? or it only happens to the lucky ones??
    >.<
    >.<

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  21. I have been doing this for 19 years, and I think what we both should do is not run after it. The more we try to look for it, the more disillusioned we become because everybody around us has experienced it.

    Being the only one of a BIG family who is always the only one without a partner (and I am not the youngest of my siblings) is not nice, and it makes me feel an outcast. I know exactly what you mean. But why waste time thinking it will never happen to us? There should be a tiny fraction in your heart that actually believes better things will happen to you, they will.

    all the best! :)

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  22. don't try is the key...
    coz guys don't dig try-hards.... :/

    and stop searching too hard, because you're already expecting what the guy of your dreams would be. But the fact is that it is impossible to find a person who changes according to how we like as we enter different stages of life. At the meantime, just enjoy life...

    For it is easier to love someone who is joyful than someone being down all the time. Love yourself to be able to love others better...:D

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  23. How right you are (dear reader above)! Yeah, believe all of us.. all people.. women and men are looking for some love in this life.. believe in you, love your self.. and cherish love!

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  24. Your blog is consistently great :) Keep it up!

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  25. omg.my words exactly.

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  26. i know. before this though, i've definitely experienced love. love is a thing that helps you grow, emotionally and spiritually. i got exactly that, with my ex. when we broke up i was torn to bits, but after a year. i was kind of fine. till i met this one guy, he was younger than me, but he had the wisest soul of the people i know. i dont know why but i felt something with him. but he told me, we won't ever be together.

    that got me thinking of the contents to this post.
    it cut me deeper than my ex.
    and we werent even officially together.
    now as much as i want to talk to him, i try not to bother him.

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  27. Honestly, as annoying as it is, your friend is right. I was a girl that constantly was in search of love. Finally my senior year of college I thought to myself, "Having a boyfriend at this point is pointless. I'm leaving at the end of the year. I'm not going to even think about it." Pretty much as soon as I got to that point, I found the first great love of my life. He's fantastic. He's very determined to stay together, even though we'll be living in different cities.
    There's a reason patience is a virtue. Once you have it, great things happen for you.

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  28. Believe me, it will come to you at the most unexpected time. xx

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  29. Do your best,
    Have faith,
    and leave the rest to the Al-Mighty.

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  30. But you do have many pieces. Friend & family love are other patches on the same comforting blanket.
    Don't fret it, don't hope for more or wonder 'is this it? is this enough?' I have four years on you of trying to learn this, and I would have been so much happier earlier if I'd chilled the fuck out and sought out more activities I enjoyed, rather than getting wrapped up in trying to make my then-boyfriend love me and BE in LOVE.
    Be open, questing but not hunting, and it will find you.
    xx

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  31. ARGH! You don't know how happy it makes me to read that I am not the only person feeling like that!
    The majority of my friends have got off into long-term relationships and what not and I just feel so alienated and alone... my friends have moved on, and I am just completely alone with nothing but my past failed relationships to keep my company, laughing in my face.
    I tried to explain my disillusionment with love to my friends and they couldn't understand, they are too blinded by it to understand. All they could say was for me to just wait...

    I don't want to be alone forever.:(
    It's my biggest fear.

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  32. Wow. I can relate to this post as well. I'm 23 and I've never been in love... but I don't just want love. I want love with my one soul mate, the person made for me, the person who 'gets me'... He's out there...

    I wrote something on my blog you might enjoy reading... about waiting for your love..

    http://myprettypinkpearl.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-plee-to-singles.html

    Maybe it will find you well.

    We're young, but being without our person can be hell--no matter what age. But, think of how much more horrid it would be to settle for loving the wrong person because you got lonely.

    Love will find us.

    I the mean time, love life. Learn things, explore, grow... become the amazing person that your future love deserves :))

    *Trisha*

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  33. I feel exactly the same. And its so hard to give up the thought and hope, of what you want the absolute most. But im so tired, so tired that im just trying to forget the pain, and live my life alone, like I always have./E

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  34. just dont give up, i know exactly how you feel, im searching despairingly for love, and some times it feels like my life dont started yet, because i never really loved, but i still hope and i know that in any point of my life it will come,even if it seems to take too long. above all the things i know i will love and be loved, so are you.

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  35. don't quit, keep on holding on and sure enough it will pay off. it's better to know that you havent given up then knowing you have.

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  36. It's strange how i need so badly the answer to the same question.I am sixteen.I've never been in love.And I am afraid of hoping forever, yetI do not think I am ready to die trying...

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  37. Don't give up, but try to switch your focus on love to loving yourself...it won't work all the time and may not be easy, but it will work some of the time & your payoffs will be more enriched because they are based in reality & your worth your own love. Once that is cultivated you will be more open to finding a lover outside of yourself who can be a partner to match you in way that will fulfill what you've been searching for. Sometimes when you hear about love stories that seem to good to be true, you have to realize they may be. Lots of people build up fantasies about love that cannot be lived up to. If you love yourself wholeheartedly then you truly have something to offer another & you will be better suited to identify who is worthy of you...

    Best wishes!

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  38. I'm 22 and never been romantically in love. I often think about why is that but at the end of the day, it doesn't bother me. I'm still young. You can be in a bad relationship for years and only find real love when you're like 60. It comes when it comes.

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  39. You should never give up :) Even though I've had my heart broken I'll never give up. Love is a wonderful feeling.

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  40. Hi, im in the same situation. i´m about to be 19, and i´ve never tasted love. But i dont care, my friends say, later it cames better it´ll be.... good look! and as you say... i´ll dye trying :)

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  41. Before reading this, I felt the same way as you. But then I realized (and formed the idea) that if I spend all my time worrying about finding love, or waiting for the perfect guy, what if I miss out on just running into love? As my mother always told me, live in the moment!

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  42. Wow, I totally feel the same way and I'm 26. Except in my case, I've had two great loves and they've both left me, and I had to pick up the pieces all on my own. Well, I'm tired of letting them in and then having them walk out of my life. At the same time, I see my friends who were really much worse and less caring girlfriends that I was, who do nothing, getting into wonderful long term relationships. I feel like I should give up on love too.

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  43. I completely understand how you feel. Love is a tricky thing. How does one know when they see it? At times I feel I'm not patient enough for love to bloom. I don't give anyone enough time or space to fall in love. But then I wonder do we will gradually fall in love or does it? This question I have no answer to because like I"m still searching and hoping. It's hard at times seeing my friends in deep, meaningful relationship while I often fill my void with more shallow and superficial ones. I like think that there is hope out there for us though. One day we'll meet some one who gives us these butterflies, who consumes our every though, who we can truly and deeply love. We just need a little more patience.

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  44. I'm 21. turning 22 very soon and I feel like a retard bc I still have not experienced this 'love' thing.
    it makes me rly sad.

    I don't know whut to do.

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  45. Die trying. A life without love (or hope for love) is sad anyway.

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  46. I believe in believing rather than giving up. Because once you give up, it's already half the battle lost.

    And it's true when people say that when love comes, it'll always come at the most unexpected moments. Just when you thought that all hope is lost or you yourself have forgotten what you were craving and pining for, it'll come and sweep you off your feet. But of course, that could work two ways - either in sheer happy "happily-ever-after" or plain disastrous.

    I've yet to had my happily-ever-after ending, as mine always end up in disaster. I'm 27 this year, and still waiting, believing that my time will come soon, and all the past experiences are just preparing me for the arrival of the One True Love of My Life. :)

    So don't lose hope! You're still young :) enjoy your life now, because only when you're enjoying yourself will you then glow and love life, and find love :)

    - passerby -

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  47. can i say im 19 also never been in love and everyone has said the same exact thing to me and everyone around me seem to be falling in love, and they say when you dont look you'll find it but ive tried that for a long time and nothing have happened and its kind of dissapointing, but im waiting to see what happen. and yes i dont want to wait until im 25 to fall in love....it sucks trust me i know...but ive told myself to keep an open mind to all the possibilities...and you should too doll.

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  48. You can't "give up on love" because love is everywhere around you! Not only in a relationship with one person. Your family is love, your friends are love, the nature is love, YOU are love! That's what life is all about - love.

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  49. I really love what the anonymous wrote above! Really amating and true. We are love! Have faith and hope Ms. F ;-)

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  50. Same. But i will keep waiting and hoping for it and for the unexpected moment when i don´t think about it and it just comes.

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  51. You have the sweetest blog here. I am so happy I found you. Babes I say die trying! You are only 19 I am guessing? I am 19 also and fell in love only 7 months ago. And it is so true what they say; I really wasnt looking for it. I hope it works out for you, you are so sweet.

    www.kimbox9.blogspot.com

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  52. Lopve is this great thing that makes life worth living but its not always the love of a boyfriend/girlfriend. Love is all around you. Its in the people you call family and the firends that are there for you to tell you sappy stories and are still there for you when you feel like you all alone. Love is the people who no matter what never leave your side. Yes i know that you are talking directly about being in love within a relationship but really your freind is right. when you stop looking for it, it will find you.
    It will be in the most unexpected moment but it will find you. sometimes when you are looking to hard you miss the obvious people. like that guy friend who doesnt mind listening to you cry on the phone becasue of your crap day. GIve time a chance..it will all work out dont give up

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  53. Never give up! I was like you once, never thought I would find "the one". And I did not find love, it found me. I met him at a party, and wow, love really knows what it is doing. He was perfect. And after two days together we kissed. Yes, I am not that old, so a kiss a big deal for me.
    So maybe you should listen to your friend. Love will find you, eventually. I promise.
    Form one girl to another.

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  54. No! You're not supposed to wait and/or search! I've been together with a lot of guys, that I never even really liked and the last one I was too scared to break up with him because I knew that HE loved ME. But I did.
    And I was so sick of relationships, ALL of them, and grew tired of every guy a week after I met them. I felt there was something wrong with me.
    So I swore I wouldn't get involved with someone for a long time. Enjoy my single life, really enjoy it, making out with whoever I want, spend a lot of time with my friends, BE YOUNG. And I did. I forgot about spaghetti-legs-love and had a great summer with just me and my friends.

    Then I went to a party and He was the friend of a friend's friend. And we started to date and I KNEW. THIS is love. There was the butterflies, the nervousness, the can't-stop-thinking-about-him, the in-love-heartache... and now we have been together for 10 months and it's better than ever.

    So you shouldn't WAIT. Love is everything in life - but not just in-love-love, but friends-love, family-love too. So go out and live your life - spend it with people you LOVE, your friends and the most important people in your life, and enjoy being single and having your friends and making your own time, because when you all get boyfriends or girlfriends or grow up or move away from each other - you wont have all that anymore.
    And the in-love-love will come. Even if it's a cliché, and you realize that it actually was when you at least expected it because when you think about it you haven't thought about finding love for a long time...

    Take care! Lots of LOVE LOVE LOVE to all of you!

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  55. I have the same feeling too. Well.Love came to me and I also have been seraching for it. But till now I was hurted.I don't really know which advise I can write you. A few years ago, I will tell you keep "go on and keep trying" . this was always my oppinion. But now I am thinking to stop trying to find Love. I wish you only that you find it soon and that it will be the right one and you will have wonderfull life.

    Take care!

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  56. you need to die trying. you need to.

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  57. I know this feeling. All too well. But I really, really, really think you should die trying. It's worth it. I think.

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  58. beautiful picture. wish that was me right now, sitting in the grass...

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  59. live your life. but you will always no matter what die trying. because if you don't try, you will never know.

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  60. love yourself. that's how "it comes to you." i'm not blaming you for wanting to feel love. but no one is stopping you except yourself. your family, your friends, even the guy serving you your burger at the mickey d's. they all need love. emanate it.

    if you wanted to be angry, would you sit and mope because you couldn't be angry?

    no! you would scream and punch and do everything you know about being angry.

    so act love out. and you will get love in return.

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  61. Stop searching. Each and every single time I stopped looking for someone to match my version of perfection, I found a man who matches me, perfectly, and our relationship has exceeded every expectation I've ever had.

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  63. I was 19 when I fell in love with my bf. Before that, I've never had any boyfriend. I knew what love was, because I've experienced love in other terms, but not before I was 19 I knew it this way. And I didn't look after it, I've never ever wanted a boyfriend, it just happened. I think you should just live and love, and it will come to you. Love is great anyway, it doesn't need to be used only on the person who sleeps next you.

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  64. Hey, I'm scared.
    You know, everything you wrote there have already been written for me. I had my first kiss qhen I was 17, and still because I decided to wait for love and just accept a great person that was open for me. It was the best thing I did, we had a 1 and a half year relationship, and I kinda fell in love with him for a while, I had other guys after but love, real love, was never found. Before my first boyfriend though, I used to write a LOT. Poetry. And I'm REALLY scared of your text, because i wrote exactelly the same things! Really, same words. I really dont trust in online friendships, but I'm so impressed with you that I really want to make touch. I want us to be friends and I want to share my poetry, so you'll see. Only, they are in portuguese hehe... Please, make a contact, my email is lara_cmedeiros@hotmail.com. Oh, I'm from Brazil.

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  65. Exactly my feelings.
    I can't wait anymore.

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  66. I hate the way people say "you're only young", you've still got time... I'm young... about your age, but do I feel that number? No. I looked for love for the longest time... wondered why nobody loved me, why I wasn't able to feel that wonderful feeling everyone talks about, sings about and writes about. I was curious. But more than that, sometimes, I just wanted someone to talk to, to share my life with, my dreams with - everything with. Someone who would hold me and love me as I am. But then I realised. I was searching for that person because I wanted someone who could "complete me". I resigned to the fact that he wasn't going to turn up when I wanted him to. He was going to turn up when it was meant to be. So I just got on with my life. I became happier (not that I was ever unhappy) and more self confident, not worrying about what "said" guy thought about me etc. Honestly, that was the best thing I ever did. I'm not saying it's a recipe for success, but I am saying that for me, it has worked. I really like this guy and have done for the past few weeks. We hang out all the time and I think it might end up going somewhere. I think the key lesson here, was that I stopped looking for guys, not to find one, but to "rejoice in my singleness". And it worked. No, it's not always easy, but learn to enjoy being single, not just for its attractiveness, but because you know it's good for you, and I think that guys find that very attractive! So no, you won't die without experiencing love, just learn to love yourself and know that you don't actually need to be "completed", even though everyone tells you that you do. Then when you are, it is the most wonderful surprise in the world. Enjoy life, enjoy what you love and don't worry it will come... =]

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  67. Give up, and it will come along.

    I just think you're thinking too much of it. To me, love is something you have to grow up with. You have to fake it with a hundred boyfriends in highschool to only fake it another time when you're in college to only fake it another time with someone you almost get to the point with of moving in and then you'll be so bummed you'll never wanna love again.

    The first good thing that comes along after that, you might mistake with love.

    Love isn't made from two people and a odd feeling that it's meant. Love is made from aimless attempts to find something that makes us feel better about ourselves, to only find out that something like that doesn't excist.

    Just keep on hoping, take every risk, make sure you fall hard when you find it and you find out it's not what you wanted. Be bummed, feel pain, be lonely. You'll see it comes along when you give up.

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  68. giiirrrll i could not be more on the same page. im the same age as you and i feel like its just never gonna happen for me! i mean i get im young it'll happen blah blah blah but i've never even had a boyfriend, never been kissed and have only been on two dates in my entire life.. both with the same guy! ughh so frustrating!!! when is it my turn?? oh and people say it'll happen when you least expect it.. well i dont expect it, im not charlotte york from sex and the city who thinks every guy who looks in her direction could be the one.

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  69. I'm still working on it. When I thought I've found the right person, I suddenly find out it was all a lie. This time I'm really working on giving up on love because it's all a fairytale. In reality is "ride alone and die alone". It's all about mental strength and dicipline to accomplish that.

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  70. Don't give up! Honey, I am 30 and only just fell in love this year for the first time. And it's not for lack of trying, I've been searching my whole life and never felt it. I thought I did a few times, but this time is different and it's totally been worth the wait. I also felt just like you, wondering if I was destined to be alone forever, and it was a devastating feeling. But life's too short to dwell on a horrible feeling like that. It does come when you least expect it, so be open to it but don't go searching too hard. You'll know it when you find it. Good luck! xx

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  71. I just turned 21 and never tried Love too. But I will wait. You're not alone. (:

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  72. I've felt that many, many times. It feels like the whole world doesn't care what you feel and just brushes you off, making you feel worthless inside while others have fun.

    Don't give up hope, love is out there, love is there for everyone. Maybe not me, I'm 24 and have been in only two relationships in my life, was it love? I might never know since the relationships never really did work out for me.

    but don't give up, love will find you in the most mysterious ways, love is like that.. but it's always there, trust me.

    Keep your head to the sky, and keep your hopes up, love is there. Good luck

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  73. I really do understand how you feel... I guess we can only die trying!

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  74. i definitely get you girl but like everyone's saying just wait and it will come to you
    (hopefully to me too)

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  75. I'm nineteen but I've learnt the lesson well enough. I decided enough was enough.
    I have faced the fact that those I love will not love me back and those whom I don't love will force me to love back.
    I'd rather give up love than die trying.

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  76. pray about it and it will come:) trust me

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  77. i have been single for the past 23 yrs.. i had the same thinking like yours..guess what... she came out from nowhr... stole my heart.. everything was fine for awhile.. not even a mth.. she couldn't reply my calls.. slowly even my msg whr left un replied..i just kept waiting... and now she wants to break up casue she couldn't commit...she didn't want me to wait..... it seriously hurts..i did everything...everything..im just too tired to hold on ... theres no such thing as true love ...its all abt guys using girls... and girls using guys... to fill up their needs... fcuk it...

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  78. I love the picture.Do you mind if I save that and share with other people ?

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  79. From this middle aged man, who has never had a girlfriend or been in a committed relationship I offer this: for some of us it just never happens. Give up. You'll be happier in the long run.

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  80. your better off without it

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  81. I have given up a year ago, because I don't want to risk being hurt again.

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  82. This is a very good question I soooo can relate to...
    I was growing more and more hopeless and frustrated until she came into my life.. I was happier than I could have ever imagined and I really did LOVE her.. and all the signs I got showed me that she did too.. But suddenly after a few months in relationship, she decided I'm not the one for her.. in just few days, from 'the sweetest boyfriend' I became no one.. because of the difference in experience in relationships... that is my self-confidence (which wasn't very high) was growing, but not fast enough...
    This happened a year ago..it started when I was 27 and ended 3 days after my 28 birthday..but it lasted only for a couple of months...
    And YES, I tell myself I've given up at hope on ever living a such beautiful love story...I gave up at hoping on love..it's better,
    this way offers me an alternative to reduce emotional pain...

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  83. I'm 32 years old and I am through with love. I am through with romantic love. It has brought me nothing but heartache, pain, rejection. Yes I am also to blame but I don't think my heart can take another blow. So I bow out.
    I strongly agree and have been slowly applying this principle: "Love yourself and the world around you, for it is very beautiful if you take the courage to see it that way. If you truly love in that kind of way, you will not feel the need for this romance you speak of (it's just a nice little bonus)."

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