Sunday, May 16, 2010

everytime i miss tino...


After a horrifying break up, i sent myself into isolation. Away from friends, away from family, away from anyone or anything that breathes.

One day, i decided to buy myself a holiday. A long long holiday of 2 weeks. and i chose Bali, Indonesia as my destination.

While packing my bags, i checked if i had everything i needed....

Passport? Check
cash? Check
Surfboard? Check

Hmm, looks like thats all i'll need when i'm away.

my brothers sent me off to the airport that day. God knows i love them to bits as they have been the ones taking care of me since mum and dad moved to japan when dad got transfered.

The flight took 7 hours, but i didn't care. I needed time alone. Actually, i wanted time alone.

I reached bali with a somewhat happy heart. No one i knew was there, no one to bother was good..for that few minutes.

Then i heard my name being called. I turned around to look, and oh my goodness, my heart stopped beating. It was tino! My childhood neighbour!

He came over, we talked and found out that we were staying at the same hotel. Since i had airport transfer all booked, i told him to jump in with me. He saw my surfboard, i saw his surfboard and yelled 'yay!!!!!'

Tino and i have been friends since we were 4. I've lived in so many countries over the past 27 years of my life, that i've got friends everywhere. But tino was special. even when i was a kid, i'd tell my parents that i'm gonna marry tino when i grow up. He told his parents the same. So imagine how my heart skipped so many beats when i saw him! if i remember correctly, i last met him at the airport, was when we were moving away. we were 10 back then. I cried and hugged him so tightly and told him i was going to miss him, but not to worry, i'll come back to visit. He cried and said its like he's losing his best friend. Deep inside me, i felt the same.

As we reached the hotel, we found out that we were in rooms right next to each other. I asked if he was rooming with someone..he said 'nah. I'm here alone bubba'.. I said 'hehe, same here'

We went to our rooms to unpack and my room phone rings.. 'bubba..lets go surfing!'... It was tino. I replied 'ok. Come over in 10'.. I put on my bikini top, shorts, and my wetsuit on top.

10 on the dot my doorbell rings and there stood tino with his board shorts and surf board. I laughed and said ' you're freaking pasty tintin'..he told me to shut up and get moving and gave me a hug when i was near enough.

We surfed, laughed and then got hungry so we walked on to the hotel cafe to have a bite. The owner of the cafe walks in and asks if we were a couple. I kept quiet and smiled. Tino said 'yes. We've been together since we were 4!'. I looked up at the cafe owner and swore his eyes were going to pop out of their sockets. He said 'since the both of you were 4??'... We answered 'yes!!!' together.

Time spent with tino was fun, emotional and somewhat familiar. It was like going back to my childhood where nothing mattered, no worries, and the main goal of the day, was to have fun.

One night, over dinner, tino asked me, 'bubba, why didn't you come back?'... I replied ' i did. But you weren't there. You were with amii.'

tino looked at me and said ' you knew?'

Of course i knew, jules, arly, raizz and tay-o were keeping me informed..too well informed..they wrote to me every week. No matter where i was. But tino didn't. I didn't receive one, not one letter from him since we moved.

I told him 'we share the same friends tintin. They wrote to me. But not you.'

He sat there. Tears started forming in his eyes. He looked at me, and a tear fell.

'i didn't know what to write bubba... I didn't know how to start... everytime i tried, i failed. Everytime i tried, i ended up crying. I felt so alone when you were gone.. I sat on your porch every evening hoping that i would hear you, or see you run up the driveway...but that didn't happen.. I felt so lost.. It was like a part of me best friend was in another country.. I died the day you left bubba..i died.'

I answered with a simple

'we're here together now aren't we? In a different the same time..'

It's like we were still connected even though we were so far apart. i didn't know how else to explain how we both managed to book flights for 2 weeks to the same destination, same hotel, and how the of us just decided to bring along our surfboards.

After that night, he said he didn't want to be apart anymore. He proposed. I accepted. We called up our families to tell them and my dad's reaction, was priceless.

'bubba? How in the world did tino propose to you? You're all the way in bali aren't you?

I replied 'emm.. Dad, he's right here with me. I saw him after i got off the plane.'

My brothers were estatic. They couldn't believe that what i told them when i was 4, was actually happening.

Even though we were engaged, we had to go back to our countries to get stuff done before we could be together for life.

After 3 months of him flying to be with me, and me flying to be with him, i found out i was pregnant. We were excited! Not only were we going to be together forever, but now, we would have a family! And after a few months of doctor's visits, we found out we were having a boy... We planned to have our ceremony right after our son was born to make it an more joyous occasion.

Tino was already planning what he was going to teach our son..they would go fishing, hiking, do 'manly' stuff..then out of the blue, tino said 'i bought us a house. It isnt grand or anything but it has a garden up front, and at the back, we have the beach'.. I was stunned and the house he purchased sounded so familiar. He bought the house where i once lived.

I was in my 36th week of pregnancy and so far, it had been an easy one. No morning aches or pains..nothing.. We had an argument that night, and tino headed off somewhere.

He headed off to be with some so called friends that we both knew were nothing but trouble. I couldn't sleep that night. I had a nang feeling that tino was in trouble.

8 minutes after midnight, i get a call from ananda saying that tino was in an accident. He rammed into a tree. The car was a total loss.

He was drunk driving.

I rushed to the hospital but when i got there, it was already too late. My tintin....was gone.

I was sad, heartbroken but mostly mad at him for doing something so stupid.

Then i had pains. I was in labour.

The day my tintin died, our riley came into the world. a happy bouncing baby boy. Perfect in every way possible.

now, when riley asks me 'mum, where's my dad?'

My eyes fill with tears and tell him.. 'dad's watching over you. In fact, i think he's right next to you. If you close your eyes and listen, he might be telling you stuff my dear boy'

Riley closed his eyes, and listened.

he then walked up to me, smiled, gave me a hug and said ' dad says he loves you and that he's so sorry for being stupid. He says he'll never leave you and that he'll always be with us. Always always.'

When riley said always always, i knew tino was talking to him. Only tino and i ever say always always because saying it twice, means forever.

Now, everytime i miss tino, i just have to look at our son.

Riley Sky Marriott-Beth.


  1. WOW. This is an incredible love story, so touching and painfully tragic.

  2. This is heartbreaking but so inspiring at the same time. You were so incredibly blessed to be reunited with someone so special. And you still have a piece of him always with you! God bless you, you must be a really strong woman.

  3. Wow, what a touching, sad and beautiful story.
    It sounds like you had something very special with Tino, and that your love is living on in your son.

  4. sometimes when i read love stories on here, i would fast forward and read the end part. but yours had me reading word per word. it's very inspiring and at the same time sad :( i am so sorry for your loss. i'm certain he will be watching you always.

  5. Wow. This story left me speechless, and in tears.

    I honestly can't find the words. I still can't believe that such an awe-inspiring and heartbreaking story is real.

    Those events seem to be so much more than coincidence. I'm not one to talk about a heavenly hand, but it seems like everything would have been impossible without one.
    Although, I guess that's life. Anything is possible.

    P.S. That's a beautiful name for a child. :)

  6. This story's too beautiful, I believe the spirit of your late husband is reborn in and resides in your beautiful child. Amazing.

  7. wow im so impressed
    i cant stop my tear

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  9. i could sense that something would happen to Tino .. cause nothing is that good still exist in the world ..

    am sorry for your loss !

  10. sounds like fanfic to me..

  11. This was touching, beautiful.
    Made me cry, made my night knowing such a beautiful love is out there somewhere.
    I am sorry for your loss.

  12. this is a great love story. this should be made into a film, the world needs to know this beautiful yet tragic story. amazing and powerful. I'm sorry he died, but I'm happy he found u again!

  13. Made me cry...
    But being in love in Bali is so awesome, i've been there before <3

  14. I cried..This is such an incredible love story! I read every single word you've written.

  15. i'm sorry, but do this type of thing really happen? in reality.

  16. omg. its so sad. im so sorry it happened.

  17. to no offence and one of the anonymous on the top.

    yes this story is real. i know, coz I AM BUBBA!

    too bad if you don't believe such things happen in life, and in love. for those of you who left such wonderful comments, I am doing ok and Riley is good too :)

    thanks all for your kind words and concern, to me, well, life must go on, especially for the little one :)


  19. it's just too bad to be true

  20. this is an incredible story...i was trying to figure out if this was true or not and I saw Bubba's comment...good for you for being strong! I wish you the best :)


  21. this breaks my heart

  22. Omg.. I can't believe it. Incredible.
    Wonderful that you still have Tino with you.
    Have a wonderful day!

  23. I don't know what to say, you left me here with my cheeks all wet with tears. First, I got so happy and it was like a fairytale but then.. Oh, I'm drained of words, haha.
    I wish you and Riley all the best

  24. heartbreaking, but oh, so beautiful!

  25. goosebumps, all over!!!!!!!!!!

  26. So lovely and so awful at the same time. I'm crying.

  27. Wow, it's almost like a fairytale...this is so touching

  28. This is such a tragic yet beautiful love story. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, but inspired how you can see it as such an amazing gift. It sounds like you both enjoyed every minute of your lives together and to be able to hear him through your son is just incredible. The world is truly magical sometimes.

  29. oh. I have no words for this. this is so incredibly say, but beautiful at the same time if that makes sense. thank you for sharing this, because i am sure it probably was not easy. your son is truly blessed, and it's so nice to hear that you know it.

  30. i weep and i weep.. thank you for sharing this and keep inspiring..

  31. this is found the person that your sould connected to at a young age. you and him were meant to be even if that means he isnt her physically. your son is luck to have such an inspiration love story to guide him when he falls in love. I cryed. I am glad to hear that you and your little boy are doing well.
    love isnt easy yet it can move mountains and the lose of love can only be comforted by the eyes of a child for they hold the essense and memory of the one you loved.

  32. Nah. Doubt it's real.

  33. me too... so you both instantly recognised each other at the denpasar airport after 17(?) years apart? that's pretty impressive to say the least.

  34. Main thing that stops me from believing this is:
    1. The baby was born on the same day the father died. How coincidental.
    2. You recognized your friend that you knew when you were 10 after you were both fully grown adults.
    3. You told the story so briefly and if this person was actually an important person in your life, you wouldn't have glossed over the details so much.
    4. There are no other blog posts about these events, you only posted about it all AFTER the fact. And the fact that you can remember so far back is incredible.
    5. This all happened right after a breakup.
    6. This blog is called "Le Love" and you have other blogs called "Le Smoking" and "Le Fashion". Seems like it's just a blog to put a story.

    Plus, if this story was real, you'd probably be more seriously offended when people didn't take it seriously.

    It's way too brief to take as a serious story, if this had actually all happened you would've posted something waaaay longer.

    But in the end, there's no way for me to really know whether or not it happened. If it did, wow. I still don't really beleive it because of how unlikely it is, but wow, that's good for you to have had such a changing experience. If it didn't happen, no big deal, it's still a fairly well-written story and I enjoyed reading it.

    tldr; Don't believe it because it's so brief and unlikely, but really I have no way of knowing if it's real, and if it wasn't real it was still a good story.

  35. how long do u expect the story to be? the whole front page of le love? come on..

    and to the rest of the non believers, ever heard of something called "friends emailing pics of them together during parties"?

    3. You told the story so briefly and if this person was actually an important person in your life, you wouldn't have glossed over the details so much

    so how do u want me to talk about tino? u want every detail? like where his scar is? huh?

    4. There are no other blog posts about these events, you only posted about it all AFTER the fact. And the fact that you can remember so far back is incredible.

    what other blog posts do u want there to be? i gathered up enough courage to type this fucking thing out and all you can do is condemn?

    wait till u find the love of your life and he dies on you.

    the breakup happened for a month plus. dont u get what "sent myself into isolation" means? did u even READ it? coz the way you're saying things is like you just browsed thru.

    i can even tell u how we met when we were 4! yes! that's how far back i can remember, and for your information, i dont check this blog like every fucking minute of the day to reply to every bloody non believers comment like your.

    yes. so now, i'm bloody offended and i hope this reply makes you happy. get a freaking life. if you dont believe.. just read for the heck of it. dont go commenting like a retard on how someone's life happenings isnt real.

    do u have any idea how much your comments hurt?

    i knew this wasn't something i should have done. it isn't for the world to know.

    i shall tell the blog owner to remove this post and i'm done with crappy a's like you. done with le love.

    hope that makes you happy.

  36. Wow! This is heartbreaking. I can't imagine how it will be to meet the right one, and then loose him so suddenly.

  37. what a load of bullsh!t!!!!!!!!

  38. cliche' to say the least and somehow this is like one of those forwarded emails i get in my inbox. :/

  39. to the tldr; anonymous poster:

    le love is run by submissions idiot. the author of this blog and the others does not write this stuff. people email her and she posts it.

    how dense can you be? you honestly think all these posts on this blog are about one person?!


    and for all the other haters....

    this kind of stuff happens EVERY SINGLE DAY! don't be so fucking disrespectful. if you don't like it then don't come here twats.

  40. btw BUBBA:

    stay strong. you have nothing to prove! this is your story and thank you for sharing it with us. don't let any of the haters get to you!!

    you are a strong person and i wish you the best.

  41. I guess the storyline is more or less real and I've no doubt it happened, but the whole 'same hotel' 'rooms next door' + coincidence of death & birth etc (that was added in for extra oomph) just strips away the credibility.

  42. oh my god. this is seriously great story! no, not a story life!

  43. your story really is the most amazing story i ever heard, u felt loved and someone is still loving u forever, your son and life continues, take care of your son and love yourself and continue living!!

  44. this is an amazingly beautiful story! and to the comment like 5 spaces above mine by S....that does happen,the whole life and death thing. MY baby girls where born on the day their father died. it was the best and worst day of my life..its this feeling that is unexplicably painful and joyous. i doubt it was just added in for umph. are you telling me you have never gone somewhere and bumped into a friend onlyto find out you are in the soame hotel like 2 doors down from eachother.
    Bubba you shouldnt have to deal with these people and their dumb ass remarks. It is your story and a hard one at that. never let people make you feel bad about one of the most significan t moments in your life

  45. ..I see nobody actually took the time to read my post. That's alright. Please re-read the part where I said it was a good story, and the part where I said that despite my doubt I had no way of knowing if it was fake or not.

    Though obviously I was being dense when I didn't bold those parts for you. I only went into detail to try to help other people notice the things that make the story hard to beleive.

    There's a difference between being critical and "hating". I'm not saying it's dumb or stupid or bullshit, I'm just saying that it's hard to beleive and pointing out the reasons. If you can't stand up to the criticism of random annonymous users, stay off the internet.

  46. Wow, this is an incredible story.
    How random everything is; what were the odds of you finding each other again after all these years, in Bali with door to door rooms. It was meant to be.
    It makes me wonder, how do you know that when you encounter such situations, how do you know that there is something there that is supposed to be ? Sometimes, your feelings are not enough.

  47. I think it may be the way you wrote it that it comes off sounding less genuine and perhaps, a bit too well planned. I'm not criticizing though! Just suggesting maybe that's why some people are doubting, ie the part about suddenly discovering each other then discovering you're staying next to each other etc. I'm so sorry that happened though, I wish you guys the best.

  48. This makes me so sad.
    I can't handle it.

  49. i'mmm crying my fuckin' eyes out man<<<<3

  50. Trully amazing love story! We can learn a lot through your story. I hope that the author of this post is reading the comments.. What I ve learned is that love appears from nowhere and people are loving you secretly in this small-big world... Love worths everything...
    Good luck with your new life with your son! Be strong! Thank you for sharing your story.

  51. I can't believe some of these comments. It's disgusting. This poor woman wrote a beautiful story (which I happen to believe is true, she obviously is very passionate about it.) and people are tearing her apart for it.

    I would be upset if I lived through something as horrific and amazing as that and had the guts to post it on a blog devoted to love stories (not my own blog like some other moron thought this was.) only to have people question my credibility!

    Bubba, please don't take anything that people have said on here to heart. You sound extremely brave and I applaud you for it. I hope you and your son have an amazing life.

  52. This is a beautiful story. I don't want to think it's real because I don't want to be wrong. If this is truly a non-fiction story, I am so very sorry for your loss, but here's to Riley. :)

  53. this story is so bitter/sweet...i belive that everything happens for a reason....stay strong

  54. I feel so sorry for you, this is so heartbreaking. I hope you and Riley are happy now! I really enjoyed reading this, so beautiful love.

  55. Oh my WORD! This is a true story?
    How heartbreaking and yet heartwarming at the same time. Congratulations on a lovely son!

  56. I usually don't cry, but I did now. this story is beautiful!

  57. Really beautiful story! At first I thought - it must be too good to be true all of this, I mean that you and Tino bumb into eachother at Bali :P and that your son can talk to Tino... BUT then again I do believe it, because it's like with love, that everything is posible! :)

    I wish you and your Riley a beautiful life and all the best of luck :)


  58. wow, soo beautiful love story..just tragic though..made me sad..

  59. Bubba don't listen to all the haters in these comments. Out of all the ones who loved your story, please don't focus on the few who have never found love that they can't believe your story. Instead of being angry with them, pity them, becasue they never had the same luxury that you had Tino.

    Like I wrote earlier, this is a beautiful story. Never be ashamed of sharing it.

  60. ... either this is fanfic or very sad and beautiful. Really, really seems like fanfic to me...

  61. glad to see that im not the only one who doesnt believe this story... read the exact same piece years ago on another platform... thought it was deja vu.
    (dont think someone would keep promoting his/her love story for so many years)

  62. I had something in my eye reading this post. A truly remarkable and brave story...not to mention romantic! thank you for sharing this with us.

  63. gosh.. i was crying whilst reading this.. that's the story sad films are made of.. i wish you a lot of strenght, the gone ones will always watch over us!

  64. Such a beautiful story...thanks for sharing it. All the blessing in the world to you and your little boy. Love

  65. I have goosebumps... WOW.
    I love this story. As sad as it is... It's magical too.

  66. this is such a beautiful and sad love story!!
    made me cry!!
    and yes, i think so too, it's kind of magic, WOW
    i wish you and riley all the best!!!

  67. Wow, it's so coincidental it's almost unbelievable. I completely agree with tldr guy.

  68. got cloudy eyes after reading this it was so great at first but then you are right that Tino was so stupid to do such thing that leads to his could have been both so happy together with your son..but thanks anyway for inspiring many readers. =)

  69. your story made me believe in love.

  70. I'm so so spechless TTTT.TTTT
    can't imagine how if that happend to me...i must be totally broken and cry...TTTT.TTTT
    i'm proud of you sis....u such a great great amazing woman TTTTT.TTTTT
    may God always bless you and the lil son also keep ur beloved tin-tin in someplace better TTT.TTT

  71. Your story made me cry... I'm speechless. I wish you a lot of happiness and healthiness to your child. I'm sure that tintin will take care of both of you! Be strong, he is near you anyways through your child!
    God bless you!!!

  72. omg, do people actually believe this?


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