Tuesday, May 18, 2010

carried away

ohcardigan

I have always classified myself as a hopeless romantic. I'm a dreamer who has the tendency to stumble straight into her dreams and then fall out of them right onto her face. Falling in love has never been my problem. I don't mean to sound shallow, but guys have always been interested in me, and I them; and I have had too many boyfriends in my short lifespan. My problem is simply that I get carried away far too easily.

It's not that I don't have standards, because I do. I know what I want from a relationship and if a guy can't give me that, then I don't bother. However, I keep finding guys who meet my standards and whose standards I meet as well, but it never feels right. Something always happens and they get attached to the point where things progress too soon and I end up falling out of what I thought was the right relationship. In the end, I'm back where I started... single and looking for that dream again.

Well, this time, I may have actually found it. He is from England and I am from the United States and we have never met. We talk on skype till the early hours of the morning his time and then he wakes up and calls be right before I dash off to bed in the early hours of my time. I don't know how we found each other. We talk all the time about meeting when I travel to England this New Years Eve, and have even made plans to spend it together.

He makes me smile, especially when he teases me about how I can't speak proper English. We never have a problem finding things to talk about, and even the occasional moment when we have had trouble thinking of what to say, we both sit on the line and just listen to each other going about our lives without the other. It's rather surreal actually; like a fairly tale. Every time he calls me, my heart skips a beat and the butterflies in my stomach flap crazily. My favorite part is when we stop talking each night, he leaves little x's at the bottom of the IM.

The only problem is, that I know that I shouldn't get carried away. I'm sure he has a life and other girls that he speaks to in the same carefree way that he talks to me, though I'd like to be selfish and say that I am the only one. I can't help it though. He is literally everything that I have wished for in a guy. We talk about profound things that matter only to the hearts of people who have felt them; I feel that he is a kindred soul.

What would I do if he did have someone else in mind? I suppose that I would go on living my life in a dream. As of right now, I don't want anyone else. I only see him, hear him and think of him. Oh dear... I've gotten carried away... again.

-K

39 comments:

  1. I'd be careful with that. I found the one person who was everything I ever wanted knowing they were moving, wondering how I would feel If he felt feelings for someone else. It is the worst feeling I have ever felt in my entire life, and I don't think I will ever be able to move on. Not trying to be a downer- I'm just trying to help a girl out. This story completely sounds like me last year before my world crumbled to pieces. Best of luck<3

    ReplyDelete
  2. anonymous, my thoughts exactly....then again id like to think that those kinds of situations are just unlucky for me and that for others theyll work out....just...be careful.
    i know what it feels like to only see him, hear him and think of him...its dangerous. just be careful. its hard to come back once those dreams have been shattered. good luck tho <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just wait and see...that's all you can do :) Maybe getting carried away this time will lead to the most amazing things!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't see how love can spark from a digital screen, especially since you haven't even met. You have to know the person well in order to actually love the person, not the feeling.

    In my opinion, it is just the feeling that is being loved not the person. So crushes may eventually lead to love, but it really depends on the effort placed in. So I'd be careful in this matter as a person can be totally different than his personality in his day to day life...

    ReplyDelete
  5. kind of.. my story. which lasted half an year and then was like BUM. gone.
    i met him online, too, and he was even my nationality, he was just finishing university in other country and he was coming home soon. all this time i couldn't believe this was happening to me.
    then we saw.. and it was not that we didn't like how the other person looks like.. it was just.. everything is SO FUCKING DIFFERENT when there isn't a computer standing between the two of you.
    maybe it wasn't just meant to be.
    still, i feel lost right now. like i'm kinda mad. he owed me an explanation, at least. why? why this happened? why he left? because i was, i am ready to be with him. although it wasn't as magical as when we were so far away from each other. i didn't fell for the magical. i fell for him.

    now, i truly hope you both be really happy and anything like my story doesn't happen to you. except for the magical part 'cause it was really worth it. (:

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is a beautifully written piece, i'd just suggest that you be careful. sounds like you have your heart on your sleeve. but on the other hand, this may really lead you to your happily ever after? i sure hope that's how it ends. a marriage proposal on new years eve? good luck chick.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The beginning describes me to a T. I get carried away and excited then just as the boy gets attached, i fall out of my crush.

    Good luck, i hope everything turns out for you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'd be weary of meeting someone from the internet if I were you. You don't know who they really are. He could be scamming you or just an old pervert. Last week there was a girl who met two guys on the internet and decided to meet up with them and they killed her. Don't be so naive.

    ReplyDelete
  9. well you never know if u dont try, you only have one life, I woudnt waste it in fearing the unknown. though hearache is a biatch :s you never know, maby you'll get true love instead.. Wish you all the best!! X

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is true beauty, trust me, I've been there.
    Sure, you should be careful, like the other people say, but most of all - fall in love.
    The world needs more people who're just brave enough to really fall for someone. Espacially hundreds of miles apart.
    I didn't quite believe in finding love on the internet either (I was always laughing at people who said they did) before it happened to me. We had the most precious romance ever (much like yours) but I was too scared to completely fall for him, so I let him go after six months. And I regret it every day.
    Do it, let yourself fall for him, for all of those that didn't take the chance and will regret it forever.
    <3 best of luck

    ReplyDelete
  11. Everything you said sounds like me. This was my exact situation... and guess what. I've been with him now for almost two years. You have to go for it. You just have to. I flew over to the uk to meet him for two weeks and it was just amazing. Now we live together.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Every relationship case is different. I would say be a little bit careful.. with your feelings and so and what you would do.. you have a contact with somebody who you dont really know, right? On the other hand, I can understand you, because I am a romantic person too.. Is nice to fight for a love.. but for someone who we already know who he or she is for real.. in the real life. Good luck! All the best!

    ReplyDelete
  13. i don't think he'd even bother to spend that much time with you especially online, if he really were seeing someone. sometimes, the greatest people are so shy and timid that the real world hardly notices them. online, they could be who they want to be and that's how he is to you. but be careful. long distance relationships always has it's rough spots. i've been there.

    ReplyDelete
  14. When you find this kind of true love with a computer in between, somehow it's all so pure and true.
    You know this person likes you for who YOU are, not because he just wants to hook up with you for one night. It's all about falling in love with a person, not a hot body. You can't even hold hands.
    Sure, the physical is amazing, but isn't this the best thing a girl can ever realize? "He loves me for who I really am". And later let it grow from that. It's the best foundation.
    <3

    ReplyDelete
  15. I think you should definitely meet him when you go to England! I have a friend who met a guy on the internet and spoke with him there every day for months. And when we went to London last summer she met him and now they are in a searious relationship! sometimes these things really do happen! But of course you have to be careful when you go and prepare yourself to the possibility that he might not be everything he says he is. but good luck girl !!:) and I must say, I love your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  16. THIS IS ME RIGHT NOW.
    Except I am from London, and the boy I think I'm a falling for lives 3 hours away in Leeds.
    Compared to your whole ocean difference, that doesn't seem like much. But I mean neither of us have the money or whatever, so it's still hard.
    Any distance is hard, I think ;/

    ReplyDelete
  17. I've got it the exact same way. Nearly at least. With me it's so deep. I've found my love on the internet, but he lives in another country. Every minute we're both home we spend talking to each other at skype. We write though, since none of us speak that good english. But it's working really good. We've already made plans about getting married, and it's really serious. I love him.

    For you, i think you should find out how deeply you care about the guy, and how deeply he care about you. Maybe this really is the one for you?

    ReplyDelete
  18. I don't know how this blog always seems to post stories that are so relevant to my life, it's crazy! I am most definitely a girl like yourself. I'm a romantic, I always fall quickly and too hard for guys... which sabotages the relationship before it's really begun. I've been talking to this boy from New Mexico for the last four months, and he is, in short, very lovely. It's been different than other 'relationships' because I didn't expect anything to happen, I was just looking for friendship. The distance is proving to be quite difficult on us though- there are things that can't be done/felt/experienced through a computer screen. He's coming up to meet me this summer, and I hope the magic is still there, if not better, in person.

    My advice to you is to try and take it as it comes! Try not to have expectations, just roll with the punches. He could quite possibly turn out to be 'the one' as those have stated above. You never know! Stay positive girlie! I hope your New Years Eve plans work out :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. I just recently started to follow your blog but your recent post is great. You need to go for it. Forget some of the debbie downer comments that were written. Sure you have to be careful, but you are an adult! Obviously if you are to meet, you know you have to be smart and sensible. Meet somewhere public like a coffee shop. That way, in case things are different face to face, he doesn't know where you live and vice versa.

    Meeting people online and finding "the one" is much more common than not these days. I just met the love my life online via facebook, the only connection we had was we went to the same college, but even then, I didn't know him. You have to follow you heart. Life is about taking chances. You can't hold back just because you are scared! Just be sensible about meeting face to face and everything else will fall into place! Best of luck!

    ReplyDelete
  20. DO IT! Or well, you should maybe meet him when you come to England first, see how he is IRL and if it works out... then let yourself fall for him! I'm almost in the exactly same situation so I know how you feel. I hope it turns out well for you! I really do!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Well, with me happened almost the same. I was in love with a boy who lives in another city. But he I've met. We Studied together at school. But I only get in love when he gone. Then, I met this boy, who lives in another city, either. And this one I've never met since then... Guess what? I fall for him, the one who I didn't met... and we are together now, for 2 years... But the distance between us is not bigger then yours, only 110km... we can see each other on weekends...
    Wish you the best luck! and go foward it, it's worth!
    =)

    ReplyDelete
  22. cheer up, girl! you might be as lucky as me. i met this great guy online and we had been very good 'friends' for more than a year. we texted and called, and chatted everyday that i slowly became so attached to him. until i realized that i'm inlove with somebody that i haven't even met in the flesh! when God finally gave us the chance to see each other(he made way for us..:)), we were so comfortable with each other and then confessed our feelings..we're still inlove right now and surviving a long distance relationship but i was never happier..goodluck! :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Should i fly to America to look or a boy I know and skype for almost 2 years now? He's in college and I just started work. He's 3 years younger than me n has a whole exciting college life ahead of him. And well I'm just caught in the rat race.

    I'm making plans saving up to leave my country n prolly fly to his and look for work there n yea be with him. Silly thing is that neither of us have done n outright confession on liking each other. Just alot of 'i'm thinking of you', 'it's been too long since we last talked'.

    It's so unconventional and I feel so silly for being sucked in. But I've been single for 3 full years now, dated alot but never ever found someone as lovely as he is.
    Who makes me feel so good about myself. Whom I feel so happy with. As we lay down in front of our laptops chatting thru webcam into the wee hours of the morning, I just feel so right.

    Sometimes i fear that I'm just another girl to him.. And I'm so afraid to chase it.

    ReplyDelete
  24. You just gave me a little bit of hope =]

    ReplyDelete
  25. Well, I had this kind of thing with a guy, we spoke for hours online and it was a beautiful thing. We both felt it. The only problem was, and still is, the fact that he is across that lonesome atlantic ocean. He just visited me here for a week and he left this morning. And honestly, he was everything I thought he would be. It was so great. But now, I don't know where we stand, I don't think I am in love, but where I stand now is close to those feelings. But then again, he is now in the air flying back and I am sitting here and I already miss him. I am so happy though, that I got to be with him for just a week. That's all really, I needed to get that out.

    Hopefully, we will work it out somehow, either way I have found such a special and fantastic person and I am so great full for that, even if we did meet on the internet. It actually works, it did for us at least.

    ReplyDelete
  26. this is my life.
    I compellingly understand where you are...
    Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hey girl,

    I stumbled upon your blog randomly and this post caught my attention. I'm currently in an online relationship with a boy I've never met before. We've been "together" for six months after getting to know each other as friends for three months. I'm finally going to see him in less than three weeks. His family invited me to go on a trip with them. It's pretty nerve-wracking, because I haven't told my parents and still don't plan on telling them any soon.

    It's funny because he's my first boyfriend. Yup. A first boyfriend, my first love found on Facebook. I know that our relationship is going to last a long time; it's just a feeling you have after considering every little what-if's.

    When my boyfriend and I first acknowledged feelings for one another, we decided not to be in a relationship (and held back from expressing love) because we lived far away (same country, different states) and came from opposite backgrounds and environments. Although I genuinely loved him, it was only inevitable that I let myself think about other cute New Yorkers around me (he later admitted that he was the same way). As more time passed by, however, I knew that I couldn't do that, because not only was it unfair, I found myself falling in deeper love for him. It became more serious, more...real. It was then when we realized that we couldn't ignore our situation.

    We're happily in an online relationship as a strongly committed couple. I am super excited to see him soon, as he is too. All I can tell you is that you should follow your heart, but only make a decision when your head and heart tell you the same thing :)

    I wish you the best of luck! Be patient and go along with the flow!

    ReplyDelete
  28. hi. i'm 16 years old girl from czech republic. i found your blog tonight and i have to say,that.. it's beautiful. the pictures with true sentences,for example „love is a cycle“,and your articles about love.. i love it! you are amazing,wonderfull,fantastic.. great job,thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  29. I read your blog and the quote that poped in my head was "Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream.”
    ~ Paulo Coelho quotes

    So what if you living a dream, dreams turn into reality. If the shepherd boy from the alchemist, wouldnt have followed his dream, he wouldnt have seen what he saw, he wouldnt have learn how to listen to the story that everything around you tells you, Most of all he wouldnt have found love.

    ReplyDelete
  30. WOW, this is incredible. I am in the EXACT same situation. EXACT situation. He's from England, he leaves little x's, and he makes fun of my English. I have also told myself not to get carried away, and obviously by then, it is already too late. I never comment on LeLove, even though I always read it, but I'm making an exception here, because I want to wish you good luck. I want you to know that you're not alone in this. I am trying my best to cope with this, and I honestly hope it works out for you. Much love. xx

    ReplyDelete
  31. hahah i was/am in this exact situation. only difference is i met him because he is my brothers friend and after that first meet we have talked on line every day. we talk about everything from things that are pointless to the menaing of life. she just gets me in a way that no other guy has ever gotten me. he recently moved and when he told me he was moving i felt as though i was in a constant state of holding my breath.

    ReplyDelete
  32. wow it's so nice story :) hey check out this website attmobile.co.cc this nice website:) u'll interested with this website

    ReplyDelete
  33. I realize this is from a while ago and other people have comments similar to mine, but I really wanted to say something to you! I met my boyfriend randomly online and I really believe he is the one for me. He's sweet and funny and charming. And we've spent a total of 20 days together in person. But we are perfect for each other. In the beginning I honestly did just think, I will let it happen as it happens. I wasn't involved in anyone besides a few dates and I wasn't attached. He wasn't either. We just went on from there. And God I know those conversations where you are just completely entranced and you cant stop talking. It's beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  34. For anyone who is wondering... I went to England, I met him, we spent New Years together, and he and I have become wonderful friends. We are still in touch :)

    -K

    ReplyDelete
  35. Goodness, there is a great deal of effective info above!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Me and my future wife met on interracial match and i would love to give praise to this site for helping me find the love of my life.It's just amazing how I made my account did....
    Interracial Match Making
    Black Women Dating

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...