Wednesday, March 3, 2010
What are two years, 730 days, 17520 hours.
For me it was a time of up`s down`s and inbetweens.
The moments you showed me how important I was for you and how much I loved you were incredible.
The moments you demonstrated that you were superior and that I meant nothing were ......hell.
I always fought for you and made things work. Because even if it doesn`t work out it still was worth it, that`s what my father taught me. On christmas you told me you loved me and wanted to work for our relationship but to be honest you never really have.
Not when you left me when my mother had cancer, not when you left me when I had an abortion and not when you left me because we had a long distant vacation.
I am not a masochist and I know that you are a good person. The question that I keep asking myself is why you can`t show it to me. Why are you so scared of love? Why can`t you try to work on your baggage that you carry around with you.
I know what a beautiful, wonderful, intelligent and special person I am. Why can`t you see that?
Someone once said:'I will accept you for who you are, not for how I want you to be.'
Maybe I could never accept how you were because I knew your potential. I know that this could have been a great love story.
So now that`s it`s over and I know better why is it bugging me so much. Why do I bother with the fact that I want you to show me how important I am to you because I know I am.
I really want to call, write or send smoke signals but I know that is a bad idea. I am hurt and my imagination of love has been shattered in some way that`s why I am scared of saying something I will regret.
But at the same time you will never call me or write to me. You will ... you won`t do anything.
When we broke up I knew it was the right thing and I felt fine but now the bad feelings sneaked in.
I need to let go completely. It hurts so bad.
This is written by the Optimist for her so called Realist.
Too bad you didn`t try, you don`t know what you`re going to miss one day.
-Bises de la France and thanks for 'listening'.