Tuesday, February 2, 2010

prince charming


I feel ripped off by Disney movies. I grew up believing that my very own Prince Charming would find me, and it would be lovely, and I would be happy forever and there would never be a spider in the bath, or a blown light bulb when I’m home alone, or a rainy day when I missed the bus. My Prince Charming would never let me feel sad. I honestly believed that, because seeing is believing, and that was all I’d seen.

But I was little then, and now I am fourteen years old, and I wonder if Prince Charmings even exist. I know I’m too young to feel like this, but I’m glad of it. I’m glad I’ve realized now that even if I did find that perfect boy for me, sometimes spiders might still crawl up through the drain and I might only see them once I’d gotten all my bubble bath and candles ready. And I know that bus drivers are dickheads and won’t stop driving for someone who’s running to the stop, even if I do find the love of my life. I am glad that I know, now, that it’s okay if I never have a man like Prince Eric or Aladdin. Because Eric fucked a fish lady and Aladdin wears stupid pants anyway, and they couldn’t solve all my problems with a pretty song and dance.

So I feel ripped off by Disney movies, because they lied to me when I was just a gullible little kid, and made me wish I could go to a ball and find the love of my life. I feel ripped off, because they made me hope for something impossible. I feel ripped off, because what I’ve learned in my short life is not to believe what you see in movies. And now, if my very own Prince Charming came along, I wouldn’t even see him.



  1. Honey,

    It's not that there will never be spiders in your bath or asshole bus drivers or bad bulbs...the reality of life is not that your love will make those things disappear, it's that you will have someone to capture the spider and take it outside, to kiss you in the rain and make you laugh at how silly you looked chasing that bus, and light a candle for you when you call him to come and save you from the dark.

    Life is not a Disney movie. Trust me, I've been where you are, and it might take a year or 5 or 10, but you will find your love and it will make everything worth it. It will be better than a Disney movie, I promise you that.

    So don't lose hope, don't give up. All the waiting, all the pain and loneliness you feel, all those bad days and bad guys and cold nights will become insignificant. They'll still be there, they never go away...but your love will overpower them. He may not be a prince by any means, but he'll be yours and he will save you.


  2. yes, that's what disney movies make you think, ha, but real world is so much different! you have to learn first how to be by yourself, in order to be with other people :) trust me, the prince will come!


  3. Even if you find the love of your life things aren't always going to go the way you planned. True love is just having someone there to share the moments with, whether good or bad.

    I'm 19 and I still love Disney as much as I did when I was little :] If they were realistic they wouldn't be kids movies. And it's nice to believe in fairy tales. They keep me grounded. That's just me though.

    Julia @ http://juliamaypearce.blogspot.com/

  4. I'm 14 as well and right now I love Disney Movies more than I ever have.

    There may not be a Prince Charming for everyone (though personally, a Prince Charming can just mean you were really really happy when you were with them, not that you're meant to be with them forever), but even if there isn't, it's no reason to feel ripped off by Disney movies.

    Yeah the world is fucked up and some people are mean, but there's a whole lot of people who are nice as well. Just believe, because if you believe, it's real in your eyes.

    All the wonderful, wonderful things in like out-weigh the good. I promise! :)

  5. I love Disney and I'm 24 this year! I agree with the second poster, horrible yucky things will always happen in life. Finding Prince Charming won't change that, but he will help to cushion those miserable days when all you want to do is curl up and eat chocolate.

    Plus real life is way better, because it's exactly that-real! I believe you can shape your own perception on life and make it better than any Disney film :) xo

  6. You sound like the raddest 14 year old ever. Loved this.

  7. i feel disappointed, not ripped off.
    i never really believed that happily ever afters existed because my parents exposed me to a lot of dramatic 18A movies at the same time as disney ones. but i feel disappointed that these loves don't happen to everyone- and i sometimes i feel like they will never happen to me. but it's the disney movies that when i watch again, give me hope. sure they are just fairytales-sugarcoated to the tee, but isn't a little bit of hope of love better than growing up convinced there is no such thing as true love?

    maybe we just need to re-evaluate what we think love is in our minds, and mix it with brutal reality, not replace it.

  8. wow 10 min ago i was googling aladin pictures. weird.

  9. damn, i wish i would've been this aware at the age of 14. <3

  10. You are 14 and you write like this? I wish I could do it too..
    I totally agree with you and love your blog too ♥

  11. i miss that movie!


  12. yes it is disappointing.but still don't feel hopeless about love.or life.

  13. You'll see him. If he's for real, he'll make you see him. Don't be afraid to love him.

  14. Would you really want a childhood without Disney movies? What is it that you think kids should be taught to believe in? That you´re at it alone? Hell, there would be nothing to look forward to in growing up...

    No, life is not a Disney movie. Prince Charming is far from perfect and because life is such a bitch, she´ll make it so that you don´t see him when you´re looking for him.
    Unfortunetely he normally appears when you´ve given up - when you´ve stopped looking for Mr. Perfect and got disappointed by a bunch of Mr. Wrongs then the right guy comes along.
    Damn, that sounds disappointing at this point doesn´t it?
    Take it from someone who knows your story all too well but is marrying her Mr. Right this month (it took me 25 years to find him and a hell of a lot of frog kissing!) - but my man makes every disappointment and minute of waiting worthwhile.
    He´s out there - and in the meantime, have fun meeting people.

  15. a crazy way of looking at things when 14, but then, hell u're right :)

  16. Uh- we all saw those movies and I bet many of us didn't actually take them literally...

    Didn't your parents teach you about fairy tales?

  17. Ces films de Walt Disney aaaah... toute mon enfance! :)

  18. I'm 20 and I still belive.

  19. disney movies will always hold a special place in my heart :)
    They however, as well as every other romantic movie portrays unrealistic ideas about love but i also believe they offer a bit of hope. Hope that love is out there and it does exist.
    Don't give up on love! you're too young for that darling

    all the best xx

  20. I love, LOVE this. It was written so well and it was funny and oh so disappointing as well. Every little girl has been tricked into this feeling and well, love will never be as perfect as a disney movie.

    Where's the disney movie where princess so&so gets ass-kicked to the curb by the selfish, dickhead of a prince who "just doesn't love her anymore" and wants to be single to mess around with other princesses?! HUH?!

    Haha, i see where you are coming from! Great piece. I am with you on this one, but don't ever block love out because of the reality. It might hurt, but one day it'll be worth it and semi-disney like. With the right person granted.

  21. Life may not be like a Disney movie...
    But there ARE Prince Charmings.

    Some will be with whom you'll want to spend your time, others from whom you'll want to run as fast as you can.

    There IS such thing as The Right Man for you, and there is probably multiple The Right Men.

    Don't lower your standards. Don't be jaded.

  22. i'm still waiting for my prince charming.. still love disney movies though:)

  23. hahaha, fucked a fish lady!!! genius!

  24. they're nice to have around, as long as they stay charming.

  25. never give up on fairy tales... they're not realistic, but neither is love. i mean, love itself is a reality, but the way you feel when you fall in love, it's like no one can touch you. you feel like a cartoon: an anvil could fall on your head as you walk down the street but you feel like you could jsut peel yourself off the concrete like a cartoon character.
    it's incredible.
    and for someone so young, you feel so much. i am sixteen, i wonder how you are able to organize your thoughts and words in so beautiful a manner, and i am impressed. you know, i don't know you, but i hope you find what you're looking for.

    if you don't give up, i know you will <3

  26. Oh Disney, how I love thee. Ideals keep you striving. Never settle for less than you deserve. Don't be so cynical! :)

  27. ohh i was in love with aladin! ♥
    love disney movies!


  28. Movies are designed to be escapist in nature. In other words they provide gateways into an alternate-reality one that we WISH we DREAM we HOPE could be our own.

    Perhaps as children companies feel the need to create these fantastic visions because it is in our age of innocence that we are oblivious to the shitty-aspects of daily existence. I don't think it's just this media outlet that is to blame, but rather us as well and those around us who continue to support the creation of these magic castles and pristine prince-figures.

    You choose what to believe.
    You choose when to weak up from the dream.
    You have opened your eyes and if you would
    have never watched a disney film or a universal
    one or whatever you would have [hopefully]
    sooner or later come the same conclusion : dreams
    of perfection are intangible. We need to stop lusting
    over the lives of others' fairy tale lives and make our own real Once Upon a Time(s).....


  29. Fat Is Not a Fairy Tale

    Jane Yolen

    I am thinking of a fairy tale,
    Cinder Elephant,
    Sleeping Tubby,
    Snow Weight,
    where the princess is not
    anorexic, wasp-waisted,
    flinging herself down the stairs.

    I am thinking of a fairy tale,
    Hansel and Great,
    Bounty and the Beast,
    where the beauty
    has a pillowed breast,
    and fingers plump as sausage.

    I am thinking of a fairy tale
    that is not yet written,
    for a teller not yet born,
    for a listener not yet conceived,
    for a world not yet won,
    where everything round is good:
    the sun, wheels, cookies, and the princess.

  30. oh, to be 14 again!

    live your life - let the princes do the work.

  31. Coolest 14 year old ever. I just hope this cynicism doesn't stick with you forever.

  32. Love, disney movies are unrealistic, but they aren't entirely false.
    may be he wont be that perfect.
    that however doesnt mean he wont exist

  33. give it time and have a lot of faith....but please, please, please don't close yourself off just yet. it's not perfect and there's no background music but you'll be swept off your feet. just wait for him.

  34. I know I feel the same...actually I know a lot of smart, beautiful, caring, charming girls feel the same...



  35. You should listen to the song called Hollywood by Angus & Julia Stone

    "I blame you Hollywood, for telling me things you never should, tell a young girl in this cruel world..."

    You're not alone. We all have expectations and dashed dreams.

    But it all begins again, you'll dream again.

    That's what music, art everything is for...all your sorrows are not unique. You're not alone. They're one of a million stories of this big, beautiful world we all get to live in.

    Like Ben Lee said, we're all in this together. That's what love really is.

  36. i should probably start by saying i'm the author, continue by saying thank you :) thank you for your advice and kind words, so much. they made me smile like an idiot at my screen for quite a while.

  37. Dang! This is brilliant ossum!!!! Love her point of view :)

  38. I often feel the same way, I have been let down by quite a few boys who ended up being not just frogs, but warty toads. But you are 14 - so young! If you had already found Prince Charming you would miss out on a lot of things you need to do by yourself as a teenager in order to learn who you really are. Trust me, he will come when he is ready and you are ready to receive him. Just keep faith in the fact that love is all around, and eventually, it will find you "in it's time".

  39. You can't be so cynical at such a young age. Cynicism isn't healthy at any age, but at 14, you're supposed to still have some enchantment about you. Though, even if you don't have enchantment, you'll have naivete.

    You can be naive and realistic at once. Realistic in the sense that you realize that life has so many more factors than a glass slipper. Naive in the sense that you think you know love, or you think that you know that love won't be anything magical.

    Love can be so much more magical than disney movies. You don't see the Disney characters working through a disagreement only to love each other more on the other side of it. You don't see the characters supporting each other through the realities of life.

    There are so many things to be disenchanted in life about - family, friends, expectations, failure, etc. But the one thing you can't give up on - EVER - is love. Love can make all of those more horrid realities bearable. In some ways, love can produce the most beautiful things out of the sadness of reality.

    Don't give up. Disney characters don't know how good love can actually be.

  40. Seeing isn't always believing.

  41. Quite whining. It's called growing up. Happens to everybody. There's still magic in the world but you have to look harder to see it. Flowers, oceans, animals and yes, even some people. Instead of crying about the child left behind, embrace the young women who is emerging.

  42. my dear, a prince charming of your very own breed exists as long as you stay true whatever type of princess you choose to be. we are writing our own stories, we are our own happily ever afters.

  43. You're too cynical for 14. Seriously- just because you haven't found everything you want in a guy by the time you start PUBERTY means you're ready to give up on the whole idea? Have some faith. We all encounter guys that aren't good enough for us, don't treat us right, thats just part of life. Without those guys, how will you be able to appreciate the perfect one? Be patient and tolerant and just BELIEVE in the possibilty. Have the courage to have unsubstantiated beliefs.
    And Disney is amazing. It should be something that inspires you to believe and be optomistic and romantic, rather than something that reminds you of everything that you haven't got. You're 14. You'll live till you're about 80. Seriously? Grow up.

  44. I don't know about anyone else here, but I found my Prince Charming and we've been together for 3 years.

    Don't be so cynical - you're only 14. You've barely lived.

  45. wow... u r so ef. right!
    & such in an amazing style..

  46. 14 yr old lily-

    i feel the same way.

    -20 yr old me

  47. omg i feel exactly the same. always wishing and ignoring the obvious right infront of us. damn you disney for setting our expectations so high.

  48. Listen to the lyrics of "When You Were Young" by The Killers! "He dosent look a thing like Jesus (or prince charming?), but talks like a gentleman, like you imagined when you were young"

  49. i took disney movies literally as well. My mother actually made me stop watching them because i became so infatuated with princes, and the perfect guy, and kissing, and princesses, etc. To this day, my family still accuses me of being to in love with love, blaming it all on disney. Ur not alone :)

  50. this is priceless
    i absolutly love the quote about how she talks about the fish lady

    new blog check it out

  51. this lily girl, who wrote this, is probably one of the greatest persons off all time.
    I love this!:)

  52. amen to that


  53. i cant stand to see all these people saying "youre just fourteen." really? at 15 ive written 2 posts on lelove and i bet theyd be shocked to find out how young of a person wrote it. you're not being cynical. you're being realistic. and while i believe that you will find a soulmate, youre right, your life ont be a perfect fairytale and people will still be idiots and you will still have really bad days. so dont listen to the people telling you to stop whining, youre just expressing how you're feeling, and being honest. also, thanks for making me laugh, lily. youre pretty funny.

  54. Real love is better than the movies but its also much different.

  55. i feel so sad that someone so young could be so cynical. don't wait for a prince charming, lily! there's way too much beauty in this world to simply wait for a prince charming to write us our happily ever afters. we can write our own happy endings too, u know.

  56. This is true, it really is. I was watching Sleeping Beauty with my nephew the other day and it got me wishing that Prince Charmings did existed. Now that I'm in my twenties, I know better but I still hate Disney for making women feel like EVERYONE will find their Prince Charming.

    After experiencing love and having it destroyed within seconds with lies, cheating, and other painful things, I know that the characters depicted in Disney movies are a rarity. Not everyone ends up happy, so many good women and men have gone through so much pain and agony and end up alone. It's reality. NOT to say people aren't happy but no one lives a fairytale and not everyone will find "Mr or Mrs Right".

  57. i didn't think you were allowed to be this bitter until you were older than 14

  58. I don't feel ripped off. I'm 22, I love and I love and I love and I'm not loved.
    It's not that love doesn't happen that way. It should. And, sometimes, I actually think it does.
    And when it does for me, then it will be the right one.

  59. Lily, I would love to include you in my new documentary I am making! Part of the documentary is about the Prince Charming Effect. Please email me at:

    also check out these links to see what our project is.
    my personal website:




    I look forward to hearing from you

  60. oh, relax. Disney is amazing.
    Disney movies are SUPPOSED to have perfect endings.
    Don't let your image of reality get distorted just because of movies :)
    because thats just childish.

  61. you're 14. You've barely begun to live.
    Why are you consumed in "prince Charming"? Don't worry about something you don't need to. I understand where your coming from. I was fourteen once too. But honestly...You have a LONG life to live. Make the best of your single teen life now cause if you jump in head over heels too soon. You'll just end up in regret and pain that you may or may not get out and over.

    So ENJOY BEING SINGLE. Prince Charming will pop up when you BOTH are ready. Take this time to learn about YOU learn what YOU love and like and do and have a passion for. Have big dreams and DO them. Being a teen is hard. So don't be a typical statistic and Grow your own confidence and strength for yourself. Stand on your own. Cause "Prince Charming" isn't going to do it for you. Learn what you want in a guy. And never settle..EVER. There's a perfect prince for a princess like you. All the princes were different in Disney. So don't expect yours to be any less diverse than them..and whats better is that your own will be REAL. =]

    Disney is Disney. It's nice to keep some hope alive for kids but..you're not a kid anymore. So watch it for what it is: A fairytale. And live your own dream. Not Disney's. =]

    You'll be fine.

  62. Maybe if women don't find their "Prince Charming", it's because they don't wait long enough or mature enough to recognize the one they can love, but instead go for someone they want, someone who looks attractive to them or their peer group, and then they end up disappointed, even perhaps believing that all men are dishonest. It's perhaps the easiest thing to know what we want and the hardest thing to know what we need.

  63. but fairytails can & do exist atleast thats what my prince charming has me thinking (=


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