Monday, February 22, 2010
Our patience payed off.
We dated for a winter. It was real love. So powerful for both of us that we didn't know how to handle it. It got weird and she split in the spring. I didn't try to stop her. We were too young.
The next 8 years were self indulgent for us both. I thought of her sometimes, but it wasn't in the front of my mind because all that space was occupied with selfish thoughts. I dated plenty of other people. She dated plenty of other people. All of them were kept at arm's length. None of them mattered even though they thought they did.
Then we started talking again. She was still on the west coast; I was on the east. We got together for a weekend after all those years and it was more than we could have imagined. We simply hugged. The hug lasted for an hour. Her smell, her little moans, her skin, her lips, were all so reminiscent. It suddenly made sense why nothing had made sense for so long. We had truly found love before we were ready for it and now it had come back. So after a few more dates I asked her to marry me. She said yes before I finished asking.
We are so happy together. We both have a tremendous sense of pride for waiting and not settling. We have the kind of love that makes other people realize that they can do better. They can make themselves happy while making someone else happy too. We have the kind of love that books are written about and we feel so lucky to have led our lives in a way that nothing was done on a whim in our youth to fuck it up in the present. For us leaving it alone was the only way to save it, and now that it has come back around we are satisfied by how much we had to go through to get to here. This should be encouraging to everyone out there wondering if they have found it.
It may take longer than you want. The pain in the interim may seem unbearable. You may be tempted to settle on the way. You may think you have found it only to realize you are not sure. Outside pressure may push you in directions you are uncomfortable with. But, we are living proof that it does happen and it can happen to you too. Be strong and resilient. When it hits you it will knock you off of your feet and you will know that your patience paid off.
Mac and Ruby