Monday, February 8, 2010

optimistic


ffffound

he doesn't deserve me.

i know that that's what everyone's been telling me for months, and ive known it was true. but now i feel it. i feel it in my heart that i am too good for him. he wasn't any good for me. he hurt me, he rejected me, he made the corners of my soul cave in. he made me happy for such a short time, and even then it was full of ups and downs. and i deserve better than that. i deserve a boy that loves me, that truly knows me fully and completely and is in love with every bit of me. i deserve a guy that always wants to be with me and will do anything for me. i deserve a man who makes me happy.

and i believe he exists. i believe now that someday, i will find my perfect match. i haven't been optimistic in months. i've spent so much time alone, dwelling on him, on the one that broke my heart. and i haven't been able to see that this isn't the end. i'm young, i have the rest of my life ahead of me. one day, i will find that person and we will fall crazily and madly in love. he exists. and it's okay if i don't find him anytime soon. i'm not going to go out there and search for him. because you know what? i do believe in soulmates. i believe that everyone has someone made just for them. and today, today i felt that hope inside of me. that i will find my soulmate. and that this guy, this stupid guy that broke me is not him. so why am i wasting my life crying over him? from now on, i'm just going to let go. i know i won't completely get over him right away, but i'm not going to spend any more time sitting at home when i could be living my life. i'm letting go of him because i don't need him.

i'm going to live. i'm going to have a love for life. and i'm going to be happy.

96 comments:

  1. thank you for giving me hope

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  2. wow. sooo exactly what is true for me. thank you <3

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  3. Thank you. I'm going through that right now.

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  4. word for word every single word, letter, and punctuation point is exactly how i'm feeling. we both need this. beautiful!

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  5. Wow...This blew me away. Its exactly what I needed. I'm letting him go right now, this very moment. Thank you :)

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  6. I'm trying so hard, how do I do it??? I know I deserve better but I just can't seem to let go :( It's been so long and I don't know what to do.

    Thank you so much for your beautiful words, though.

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  7. I needed this as well! So inspiring, thank you so incredibly much for giving all of us hope. I believe in soulmates too, and I can not wait until we run into each other.

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  8. I needed this as well! So inspiring, thank you so incredibly much for giving all of us hope. I believe in soulmates too, and I can not wait until we run into each other.

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  9. yessssssss

    good for you, i believe it too :)

    one day, one day....

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  10. This is weird, reading every single comment and knowing that there are alot of people going through the exact same thing. Absolutley so true. You g for it girl! i only wish i could do the same, but its to difficult. When things seem to get better somthing happens to make things worse. But im going to keep faith like you and try live and leave my broken heart behind.

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  11. Dear lord, that sounds exactly like me a year ago...like no lie, goosebumps, almost verbatim something I wrote in a journal about a week from today last year.

    Wanna hear the best part? I've been dating my soulmate for 11 months now. Funny what letting go of the past and opening your heart will bring you.

    :)

    All love, and best of luck!

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  12. Whoa, 2 Stephanies within one minute! Small world :D

    -Stephanie #2

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  13. Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.

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  14. Dear girl,
    I can totally relate to this. Reblogged your post in my Tumblr, hope you don't mind. I will credit you.
    (: We'll be strong together.

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  15. easier said than done.

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  16. I´m glad to read that this conclusion finally sunk in... you´re going to be just fine honey!

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  17. Yes Girl, you stay positive and believing in yourself is key. I fell exactly the same way as you and when he comes along it's going to be amazing and better then you have ever expected it to be. I can't wait for my future boy to come along. It's going to feel so amazing, unbelievable. I can't wait.

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  18. thanks for this! its completely what ive been needing to hear!

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  19. one year ago, i got my heart broken by a man who said he loved me. i couldn't understand why. i went trough the whole year. confused and lost. i couldn't concentrate on my studies anymore, and i as good as ran into a depression. now, one year later, i can se that he does not deserve me, that i actually can live without him. i have never felt stronger.

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  20. Someone, somewhere is wondering when he's going to meet someone like you.

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  21. I love this. I'm going through the same thing. It's been six months and I am still dwelling. But it makes me feel better knowing someone out there can recover from this.

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  22. This sounds exactly like me more than a year ago and now I'm dating the most wonderful man.

    Best of luck to you! I know you will find him. :)

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  23. keep that in all your dreams, girls...Until you meet the wonderful man, I can only wish you luck! sincerely

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  24. thank you, i will come back and read this when i have those 'bad days' and i will find hope

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  25. easier said than done ! four years have passed by, and i'm still suffering...her absence rips me off...i know that i deserve a better girl...and i know that you're going to say that love heals wounds, (does it really?) but it's so hard to have a new beginning
    http://lovers-shore.blogspot.com/2010/02/time-doesnt-heal-all-wounds.html

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  26. you sure have the power to inject goodness!

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  27. oh god, i feel this.
    Im waiting for my soulmate too. And i too belive, that one day, he will come !

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  28. I so relate to it ! one hundred percent ! thank you for writing this.

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  29. Well, I didn't actually got my heart broken. But I can totally relate to this post. I believe he exist too. I am going to meet him soon :)

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  30. My heart was completely wrecked by my best friend a few years back. I thought I'd never love again, but I have found my soulmate - he waited 3 entire years for me, despite the ups and downs and me pushing him away. I've never been so in tune with any other boy before, and I do believe you'll find your soulmate. Don't give up hope, your soulmate will be there for you. And when you find your soulmate, you'll never regret letting this other guy go.

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  31. Exactly what I am feeling and exactly what all the other 35 people that have commented are feeling. Let's be happy, all 36 of us and embrace life. Because life is beautifull and we only get this life once. GO!

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  32. I am SO excited for you. And it's all a process - it may seem like there is unused time in your past that you spent crying over him, but you had to go through that time in your life to get here - the point of liberation from this.

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  33. Thank you for putting the thoughts in my head into words.

    I feel less alone. Thank you, all 37 of you.

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  34. good for u girl! i hope u'll meet ur soulmate soon :)

    - x

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  35. Ohmygosh. I love when so many strangers can share the exact same feeling at the exact same time. It gives me hope and makes me feel less alone. We are too beautiful to not be living every minute in love with life and optimistic about true love! Live it up ladies, life is too precious to waste time dwelling on something that isn't healthy :)

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  36. The Universe has a way of righting everything. If this wrong guy fell out of your life, then I'll bet sooner than you know it, the right guy will fall in to take his place...watch and see m'dear.

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  37. you're my savior today.

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  38. Thank you so much. Self-love is the only way to let go of someone sometimes.

    I only wish i could meet all of you who are saying they feel the same way. Then we could throw a party and burn every fucking thing that reminds us of them!

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  39. Thank you so much. Self-love is the only way to let go of someone sometimes.

    I only wish i could meet all of you who are saying they feel the same way. Then we could throw a party and burn every fucking thing that reminds us of them!

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  40. Each time I visit this blog, I read something that gives me hope...almost as though it's a message just for me. This was me two days ago. I believe in soul mates too, and that nothing and no one can keep them apart. I had my heartbroken but now I'm just embarassed that he'll always be a part of my past. Good luck to you...stay strong and positive.

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  41. wow it just made my day to read the comments that say thank you i needed this. to think of touching someone with my thoughts is just incredible. im so glad if that meant something to you.

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  42. i don't remember writing this. lol no but in all seriousness, I know even though for a long time i believed that he was the one that i was paired up with by fate, i know he isn't. because my soulmate wouldve known exactly what i was feeling, what i would feel if he broke me like that and wouldn't have done it. soulmates are like two halves. neither of them could be okay without the other person because they would feel so empty. but the fact that hes probably okay without me, tells me that i don't need someone who doesn't need me in his life.

    and i know that my soulmate wouldn't have done that to me.

    we deserve better.
    and he's out there.
    it will come
    and when it does, it will be the most amazing thing.

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  43. no one can make you happy just like you can :)
    Happiness is inside you :)

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  44. good job realizing this.
    proud of you.
    youll be fine.

    http://beautyvaccine.blogspot.com/

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  45. wow this like spoke to me. very awesome post. and i couldn't agree more. i believe in those things too! and i have been hurt by a guy that just left me and the worst part was, i knew him my whole life and he just decided i wasn't good enough. and it took me a long time to realize , yes i love him but me and him don't belong togetehr anymore. i need someone who appreicates me and won't leave me. and i have trust issues though cuz of him. i'm like if my best friend/guy i've known my whole life can leave me. who else won't? its sad but true. but i want to be open to finding my true soulmate.
    thanks for giving me hope and knowing i'm not alone!

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  46. Beautiful!
    I feel the same right now,
    sitting, waiting, wishing...

    all of you, gorgeous women, deserve only the best.
    this blog is really great.

    Greetings from a distant place.

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  47. 100% relevant to my life now as well.

    lets open our hearts together and allow someone who deserves us to sweep us off our feet.

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  48. We all have lessons to learn, and although we may not like the form, we have to learn from them or be doomed to repeat them. When you know better, you do better.

    Good on you for starting a new chapter in your life.

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  49. it's been a year and two months since he ripped my heart out...2months ago he appeared in my life and i thought he'd change, but 2months later i realized he hadn't and i let it go, yet again. I know he doesn't deserve me because i met the him who loves me, all of me...every inch of this soul. he's out there, he just comes along right when you least expect it :)

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  50. this blog is helping me heal in ways i never though possible, as silly as it may seem. i've always felt exactly as the words of some of those posts describe. but i've never realized that others feel the same way i do. i rambling, but what i'm trying to say is thank you to everyone else who has the courage and ability to put my feelings and thoughts into words. it's amazing how different, yet so alike we all are.

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  51. Good for you darling. I am proud of you.

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  52. I would just like to say that i was just told that my boy friend of a few years cheated on me with my best friend. i ended up at this website because i wanted to know that i would be ok and i read this and it made me fell so much better.

    i would like to thank you.

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  53. Heroic words... But I tell you this. No person is made for you, or someone else. You just have to find someone you think will fit and THEN you make him what you want him to be. Of course you must also become what he wants you to be... In a few words, both must make sacrifices and share common interests and passions.

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  54. I just want to say a big THANK YOU for writing and sharing this. I believe also that everyone has a soulmate.. and that you should not go out and search for that person.. It will just happen so magically.. as it sound.
    Let get the faith and hope.
    Love

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  55. That is.. a slap to my face.

    Thank you, and I hope you find him. I'll be waiting for mine, too. <3

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  56. This is absolutely true! Thank you for sharing this, and all the best to you :)

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  57. You translate my emotions into words and made a decision for me that I could not. Thank you.

    I am letting go of someone whom I loved, whom I cared alot for, whom I would do anything just to keep him by my side. But he is not worth it. I deserved alot better than playing the second fiddle of his life.

    Thanks =)

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  58. oh wow . . . I think at one point in all our lives we have all been through this . I certainly have and its been 7 months now and somedays it seems to clear cut that I shouldnt be dwelling on him but then other days I give in and have a full marathon clip in my head of him and the days we had *sigh* I am scared that one day I will not be able to find my soulmate , that scares me more than anything right now and even though Im really young , the thought of being alone for the rest of my life doesnt seem to go away since me and my first love split .

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  59. That's amazing.Because I'm in an exact situation as you.You go girl!You are an amazing & strong girl & I applaud your courage and to all girls out there feel the same(:

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  60. You go girl... you are doing the right thing...

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  61. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and though I love him I wonder if it is worth it? He was broken hearted by a girl before we got together and it has taken a long time to get to where we are now. He says that he is falling in love with me but can't always say this and sometimes doubt it though tells me he has never been as close or as comfortable with another girl. It is so easy to cling to the nice things he says and let the doubts, insecurites and worries slip to the way side. Reading your post made me think that there is someone better. Someone who appreciate me and really love me and really deserve me. I don't think I will ever be truly happy with him and that hurts so much because that is all I want. I love him with all of my heart. Why can't I just let go? You are fantastic and I have read your post a number of times and every time, your words ring louder in my head. I was afraid to end it but now I have hope for after! Thank you so much.

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  62. "he made the corners of my soul cave in." You know its so sad, you think you find the person you can't live without. My story got posted about two months ago all about the guy I was in love with that I couldn't live without, and then he completely shattered what I thought was my entire life about a week after it was posted. But a week ago I realized it wasn't the end of my life, that I can be on my own, and I can be happy, and reading this along with all of these comments just makes me melt. Im proud of every single one of us. There is hope.<3

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  63. this is a page directly out of my life, thanks for this

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  64. this is a page directly out of my life, thanks for this

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  65. i can't thank you enough for this post. i have been trying to do the same thing these past few months. reading someone else's words really helps. good luck.

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  66. This is beautiful. I feel like I can really relate...except nobody told me I was to good for him...only my sister haha!

    I'm so so so happy for you!

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  67. I have no insight into the way things were with you, but I lost a girlfriend who probably feels that way too.

    Ever wondered how painful it is to realise that you hurt the one you love....and that the moment you realise, is the day before you lose them?

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  68. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  69. Your post definitely gives me EVEN more strength to stand up on my feet after the second break up with my boyfriend 2 weeks ago.

    This time for real, I am letting him go because I no longeer need his never ending drama and that I believe there will be someone out there who will appreciate me as a person.

    Thank you for your post. I'm feeling it too!

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  70. I'm going through a very similar (if not identical) rough phase, and this is the perfect reference I can use over and over. I want to discover myself again.

    Thank you for this post.

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  71. Thank you for posting this. Something similar has been going on in my head for a while now but it is so hard to let go.

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  72. Wow, thank you! I couldn't have said it better myself!

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  73. every girl is a big damn deal. some boys just don't see it!

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  74. I need to wrap my head around this. Again. I've forgotten.

    Thanx

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  75. i do not believe in soul mates
    i do not believe in people feeling crappy and if you feel in your heart that it is not for you than it is the right choice
    i do however also believe that life is hard, love is hard and you have to work at it
    some days are good some are bad but when you plan on spending 40 years with that person, you will need to work at it!
    xxx
    hope you all find that special plushy someone you can hug at night

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  76. wow. this is exactly what i am going through right now. thank you so much for posting this when you did.

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  77. this was perfect. this was exactly what i needed to hear. thank you.

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  78. :o) Im happy for you & go get him tiger!

    karlette

    http://keeda007.blogspot.com

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  79. this is my life story. completely.

    the hard part is.. moving on and getting over him. :(

    <3

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  80. this is exactly what i'm feeling right now......... feels like i wrote the blog ,not you. his name was jimmy........and he didn't deserve me.

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  81. wish i could affirm that myself.. been struggling for 2 years now.. most of the time i still fend him cos he's my soulmate.. but reading note, i'm gonna buck up n try again.. thanks and i hope you are smiling now.. ^*^

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  82. I needed this. I am going though exactly what you are. The whole first paragraph described how he made me feel. Yet for some twisted reason i can't go of him. It's been months and i still spend the nights crying my eyes out while he's moving on happily with his life.

    I can't wait to feel how you feel in the second paragraph. I need that epiphany. I wish we could sit down for tea and talk.

    I hope by now you are doing much better and i hope i get there.

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  83. k-
    if you ever read this, i wish we could sit and talk too. i know just how you feel. i was there 2 months ago and it was the hardest thing. i didnt think i could ever let go. but listen- you deserve so much better. you do. never forget that you are not meant to be with a guy that could hurt you that badly.

    i hope you have this epiphany soon too. i have faith in you. you will be better, and you can love again.

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  84. that is correct there is only one person out there, who is so perfectly fitted to you and the only way to get to him is through God. Check out Stephanie Herzogs and David Herzogs testimony and I hope it helps you to get on the right track to true love.

    Peace.

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  85. I love you blog. It gives me hope and comfort to know other people like myself struggle with relationships. My ex is trying to get back in my life. We broke up due to his lack of communication, him being intense and working all the time. I too have my flaws...I tend to take things too seriously. Seems like he wants to be with me but not right now. He doesnt want to be with me right now and doesnt want anyone else to be with me too. He is very emotionally closed off. I dont know what to do. I guess time will tell.

    -KT

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