Monday, December 21, 2009

trapped inside my brain


I have never tasted love.

I have never been blessed with the true feeling of love. I've always felt like an outcast in that way. Placed beside the world of loving individuals. Like it's not meant for me. You see, I'm a dreamer. And in my dreams I'm head over hills in love and it's mutual. Unfortunately, this makes me an observer. I observe everything and everyone around me, and the importance of my own actions fails. It's like I'm trapped inside my brain and completely unable to... do life. I think I'm in love with the thought of being in love, how cliché it may sound. And I don't want to wait forever. Maybe I'm just gonna have to accept it. Maybe there is this insignificant number of all the billion people on earth, who just aren't supposed to fall in love...



  1. I completely know how you feel. I am head over heels in love with love. And let me tell you, when you find it (which you will!), you'll fall so hard and put everything into it which can be dangerous because then you get hurt that much more if the relationship fails. It's what happened to me. But don't be afraid of that! Stay in love with love and give it your whole heart! Love will come when you least expect it. Don't give up. The world does not have enough people with big hearts and even though we may get heart, or have our hope taken away, at least we know how to do the greatest thing of all: love.

    Hang in there. You have a beautiful outlook on love, don't change that for any thing.

  2. ahh this is exaclty how I feel! We just have to hang in there! I'm certain love finds everyone eventually

  3. I completely and honestly know what you mean. But I do believe that everybody is capable of falling in love. I think that fear is what keeps people out of it. Fear of not being good enough, fear of messing up. Just let it go. Let all that go, and just be. And then it'll happen. Love is patient, and kind. You just have to go along with it. I know what you mean when you talk about love being like a dream you're hopelessly infatuated with. Don't give up on it, that means you give up on yourself.

  4. I swear I have an email draft that I was going to send in just like this...
    It sucks so much to feel like ur meant to be alone or to not ever truely feel love like those around. It bothers the most when you try to explain how much u want that when the people around you are hurt by love. They ask why would you want that same reason everyone else wants love it's an uncontrolable addiction to another with out rational thoughts processes or motiaves it's a pain worth living with than to never have at all.

    (I can't spell lol excuse me.)

  5. if something is not happening for you it does not mean that it is never going to happen..but more simply that you are not ready for it.

    maybe life is trying to tell you that there are other things, issues, emotions that you need to deal with and figure out for yourself before you give yourself to someone else.

    the past year for me i have done just that, i have not even been looking for love because i have been focusing on loving myself as i think that is the most important step towards true happiness.

    for some love, life & fashion inspiration have a peep at my blog


  6. i feel that way too! all the damn time! I'm not exactly looking to fall in love, I just feel that everyones had their chance at something and it's like my turn is skipped each time and it's not fair! I don't care about a big romance because I know that won't come till later but just maybe an 'I like you back', that's all I want, that's all I've ever wanted. And when I tell my friends who have experienced love or who are currently in love or even in like they all say oh "you're time will come, you're time will come." Well it certainly hasn't and I'm slowly starting to loose the faith that makes it all possible, ya know? Sometimes I become so impatient and frustrated that I find myself hating it all. My misfourtunes have led me to believe that it's impossible for anyone to have such powerful mutual feelings for one another. That's it. But yeah, I DEFINITELY know how you feel.

  7. Ugh, I feel almost the same way! People think I'm quiet because I'm totally content just listening to other people most of the time. I feel like I don't participate enough in my own life...

    I hope you fall in love one day (and me too)!

  8. This is me. Every word. I just want to love someone, really love someone.

    But still, I do have hope that I will someday. But I'm scared I will make it bigger than what it is, becuase I will feel so much.

  9. One thing that I can say is I used to be the same, but I was so scared that whenever I liked someone, I was just convincing myself because I wanted to feel love. Does that make sense? I wasted so many chances because I didn't think what I felt was real, just desperation to be in a relationship, so I let them go, trying to save their feelings. Don't let those chances go. Throw yourself into everything. One day someone will come along, you will have no expectations, and it'll happen. I used to feel the same, but I tell you, the second you start realising that your life is yours, love is beautiful, but so is life. Just enjoy it, go with it, love will only happen when and and with who its meant to.

  10. Like many other people I know how you feel, my one constant fear is that i'll never find love. Like maybe there's just some people in the world that don't, that go through there whole life and never find it. All I can tell myself is that good things come to those who wait, someone out there's got a plan for you. xx

  11. I could have written this text. It's exactly how I feel. I want so badly to fall in love that i analyze everything around me, every word and every touch. A kiss turns into a relationship and a random guy into the love of my life. And I can't tell the difference between reality and imagination anymore. I want to be in love not only in my head but in real life.

  12. I feel exactly the same and I hate it.

  13. This is kind of scary, because it feels like as if it is I who have written this. It is my dreams. It is my love.
    Okay, this comment flipped out. Well.

  14. These are my thoughts exactly.


    I think I've come to this conclusion before aswell. So frustrating.

  16. I felt like that for a very long time too...but I think being a dreamer, being an optimist, being an idealist, being a romantic...are all on your side. You have to believe in love to recognise it when it comes along. It sounds really cliche but I've found love from the people I never expected it to come from; from the times and places when I least expected it. You just have to be crazy enough to jump when you find something that feels real for you and brave enough to take the fall.

  17. thought i was the only one feeling like this, i guess not, and it feels kind of good even if i wish the best for you <3

  18. I felt the same way, and i thought i could never fall in love, & that this feeling is meant for others but not me. it's so weird when they all say love is all around. yet i couldnt feel it at all.

  19. damn, it's like you read my mind. accurate as hell

  20. I know exactly how you feel. I was that way for most of my life. Never had a real boyfriend. Guys would always tell me, "You're the kind of girl guys want to marry. Just wait until you're older and they'll be lining up around the block." Waiting sucks. There's nothing worse than being alone in a room surrounded by couples in love.

    Then, I met someone. We fell in love and got married and have been for four years now. He had the same experience I had. Now we both realize we were alone for all of those years because we were waiting for each other.

    Don't give up. I know it's hard and lonely, but one day I'm sure you'll realize it was all for something.

  21. omg i am not alone.what a relief.

  22. as far as I've read I see that over 50% of the people here have felt this..and yes, I feel the same way. But it is said that each of us has his/her soul mate in this world, so I'm waiting for mine...and although sometimes I get a little bored I hope it's worthed and at the end of the day find true love.

  23. This is so amazing.. I've opened Le Love today and found the description of exactly the situation I'm in. I thought I'm some kind of freak because I know so much about love, I always give advice to my friends what to do in their relationships, but it's all because I observe. I have never been trully in love and never been trully loved. And I miss to have this feelings. As Nicole Kidman sang in Moulin Rouge 'I live from dream to dream'. this is my situation, but I still believe (maybe I'm very naive) that I will find this overwhelming love. And I hope that all of You will do this as well <3

  24. did you read my thoughts? the whole 'in love with the thought of being in love' is something i've said far too often. i'm a loving individual, to the point of being called the 'mama' within any group i hang with yet.. that love, that gut wrenching, soul mate [esque] love.. i don't know if its just not in my cards or if im too busy dreaming i miss a realistic love? i don't know. all i know is, i get this.. thank you for making me not feel as if i am the only one.

  25. i don't think its the fact that you just aren't meant to fall in love, it's the fact that there isn't anyone good enough for you to fall in love with right now.

  26. I get a little bored I hope it's worthed and at the end of the day find true love.

    Work from home India

  27. I feel exactly the same way. I've never experienced real love either. I'm afraid that I'm turning bitter and that I've run out of hope. I'm afraid that I've waited too long, that it's impossible to fall in love anymore. Is it possible to experience first real love at the age of 20? All the people I've met have found first love at their teenage years and I'm afraid that it's too late for me. It's kind of comforting to read that other's feel the same way too but I still wish that you all will find love. Someone here posted: "i don't think its the fact that you just aren't meant to fall in love, it's the fact that there isn't anyone good enough for you to fall in love with right now." I'm still trying to think positive, maybe it's like that for me. Maybe I just haven't met anyone that could be good enough for ME.

  28. being an observer is ok! thats how you learn :)
    good luck**

  29. You know, well Ive never been in love either, but i really think theres something big waiting for us ... love itself is such a sublime feeling & the greatest things & life are the hardest to achieve (: .
    So lets just enjoy every second of our lives & wait for it to come , always paying attention to the signs (:

    sorry if my english aint good u.u

  30. This comment has been removed by the author.

  31. I just think that we are so lucky to know that other people feel like this as well. I know I feel like that many times . It's the curse of being a dreamer, lover, and hoper. It's a tight rope we walk with love and before you can cross you have to be secure with yourself. That's what I am telling myself but those feelings of inadequacy sneak back up to me.

  32. This text describes my thoughts in detail. That's pretty creepy.

  33. as one can see you're not alone. i am with all of you who say they feel the same way, although i don't know if i'm in love with being in love or that thingy. i'm merely just afraid i will never find love or that love will never find me. i do believe i'm worth it, but maybe i'm just not meant to be in love right now? or at all, who knows?

  34. I feel exactly the same way! Reading this blog, I've thought that exact thing... wow.

  35. I asked my friend this question just two days ago.
    I said, "Do you think it's possible to lie to myself about not liking a person or about liking someone?"

    He thought it was possible.

    I liked this guy, see. Or at least, I thought I liked the guy. But I realised something yesterday.

    I wasn't in love with him. I was in love with the idea of loving him.

    Then I came home, switched on my MacBook, and I saw this.

    Bang! It was exactly what I had been thinking, all along.

    Thank you, because I'm not the only one I don't feel so lonely anymore. I'm surprised at the number of comments.

    I'm in love with the idea of being in love, and that makes me laugh.

    Because one day, I believe, that idea would be replaced by reality.

  36. ooh boy. Well i wouldn't be saying anything new to say this is like me...
    but i am more of a conundrum. I am so jaded about it. too long an observer, now all I see is people getting hurt. Because it always ends like that.
    And i've had my chances at... something. but I run away because i only want exactly what i want.
    I'm the girl people come to for advice. I am the girl who gives it, but never follows it.
    i am a conundrum
    but a better way of saying it might be hypocrite.
    I think everyone finds themselves alone in some aspect of life. This is yours. but you aren't alone. we are all messed up in the best ways possible

  37. Trust me I know! But the problem my dear is with being a dreamer. Stop! even for a while. Get out of your comfort zone, go do something you've dreamt about for a long time. Do something that excites or scares you and do them alone! Unexpected things truly happen when we behave unexpectedly! (and I don't mean in a 'Girls Gone Wild kind of way:)

    And stop waiting for love to find you, YOU might have to find it. YOU may have to make the move one day.In the mean time, go and live the life you've always wanted. I know its hard, but I'm forcing myself to do the exact thing as we speak.

    Big Hug.


  38. i used to feel like this too
    but its just all the expectation
    i let go of it all for a while
    just spent time on myself
    then i fell in love
    out of no where
    he was just there all of a sudden
    and it was so strong
    you have to let go of love for a while to let it in..

  39. Shona: so right, so true, and so hard to do. Great comments, inspiring in their good words, and in the knowledge that so many of us are not alone in this.

  40. Wow. Your words really touched me. As I read your words it is like I'm reading my own thoughts. Who knew that there is someone out there whom feel the same as me? Maybe sharing these thoughts will make it a little bit better, for both of us.

    Lots of love,

    Veronika, Stockholm, Sweden

  41. i have never truly been in love either. and at the age of 17, i am starting to doubt whether love really exist for me. or maybe im just un-lovable.

    still, what can i do but hope? it is all i wish for...

  42. Wow. I could have written those exact words myself. I've never been in love. Hell, I'm 22 and my longest (and only) relationship only lasted a few months. I don't even consider it a 'relationship' because it was so messed up - to the point that I never felt that he cared about me. And that realization hurt me deeply. What girl doesn't want a genuine first love? I felt so cheated. I took a chance on him and it was a bitter disappointment. But in spite of that, I'm still optimistic. I know now that I can never settle. There are too many things in life that are mediocre, and love should not be one of them.

  43. i feel exactly the same. i hope i found love some day and i can't wait until that the when i can tell i boy that i love him. until that day when i actually love a boy. until that day i open up my heart and let someone, a boy, in.

  44. I beg to differ. There is someone for everyone out there, you just have to risk of losing your feeling of "being in control". And sometimes, dreams do come true. Look at Susan Boyle :) Merry Christmas everyone~

  45. i can't help feeling you're maybe expecting too much. blodmorell? 17? you've got your whole life ahead of you!! 20, 22. think about it, you've lived maybe a quarter of your life. maybe less. all the epxeriences you'll have, all the people you'll meet. why restrict yourself to looking within a small group of people you know now? maybe i can't speak. im 18. ive never been in love. im a romantic, all the people here are, otherwise they wouldn't be on le love, but im so excited about my future. to fall in love now would be amazing, but only when i'm meant to. i love the people around me. i've travelled. im moved different places. but still, to expect your "soul mate" to walk through your door is kind of foolish. get the hell out there. live your life for you. dream, have ambitions. be indipendant, no so much that you block out all possibilities, but enough to enjoy every second of your life. you don't need to wait. love will come. sooner or later. till that day comes, fall in love with life, not the idea of love.

  46. a woman after my own heart. thank you

  47. I know exactly how you feel because I often feel the same way, but hearing someone else saying it makes me realise how toxic this mind frame can be. Everyone is meant to fall in love! Don't say that you're not meant to fall in love! You'll start thinking that you are un-lovable and it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Trust me, I KNOW. 18 year old "Anonymous" said it perfectly - falling in love would be amazing, but only when it's meant to happen. And in the meantime fall in love with the beautiful realities of life, not with an illusion about love. If that makes sense.xxxxxxxx

  48. i am not going to read this blog anymore because it has turned into a depressing place where too-young teenage girls cry and dramatize about things that didn't work out, and now they're all lonely and emo and can't find a way to be happy without "that special someone".

    Love will come to you if you stop obsessing over it and starting living your life with joy and pro-activity.

    This blog used to be cute and gave me the warm fuzzies, but now it seems like the posts are all long letters from teenage girls and slightly depressing pictures. I miss the old Le Love.

  49. i just want to say that i feel the same way. i don't have any answers or advice on what to do. i'm just glad to find out that i'm not the only one .xx.

  50. Kudos to that. I know that feeling.


  52. i didnt think there was someone who felt exactly the way i do

    though i do believe theres a love meant out there for everyone
    i believe because i have to

  53. Excellent.

    I've let go of it, thinking I will fall in love with someone who will return it.

    Can one "will" love? Is that the love you'd want?

    Things simply are. Don't fight shadows.

  54. i'm in the same situation.
    i've never been in love before, although iÄd really like to be. i just don't know whats wrong with me, because everytime someone gets closer to me, i kind of block this person.

  55. This is EXACTLY how I feel.

    Thank you, you make me feel comforted knowing that someone else longs for love.

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  57. You have a beautiful outlook on love, don't change that for any thing.

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  58. It's the waiting that gets me as well. I haven't lost hope (yet), but the waiting-- the fruitless, lonely, discouraging waiting-- is taking its toll on my once hopeful, romantic view of love and life.

  59. Michelle could not have said it better! Wow, I always feel so guilty for not talking enough.

  60. love is possible for everyone, you just dont know it yet.

  61. i understand you so much! unbelievable. but, anyway, i am always criticizing, and... how can someone love me if i don't even love myself?

  62. Is so sad and so true at the same time... i think i understand those feelings...

  63. Finally someone who feel the way I do. That could have been me writing! But I'm not giving up on love. I'm gonna live in the moment. And then see what happens.


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