Thursday, October 8, 2009

through it all


unknown

I love being held. I love when I am in someones arms, and I know that they would do anything for me. yea, I know its selfish but that is what I love. I love waking up to someone and smiling and having them smile back. When you are cold, and you are sharing a blanket and you have their sweatshirt on. your hair is all a mess and your breath smells and you nuzzle up to their neck and they nuzzle you back and wrap their arms around you. and you smile. And fall right back asleep.

I love walking into a room and he smiles back at you, you work your way over, making googiley eyes just for fun until you reach him, and then he wraps you in a big hug and you say hi and act like you haven’t seen each other in ages. That is a great feeling.

Feeling the rush of his lips trail down your body, covering every spot of skin. Giving in to him, giving him what you both want. Feeling like one. Knowing your love will not fade. Knowing giving him that will make him keep you forever, just as you want.

The happy moments, the secret smiles. Going out with his family and saying something they don’t get, but he gives me that look that tells me he got it and he found it funny. Him telling me how beautiful I am in front of his family. Them looking at us and seeing how much we adore each other. The feeling of pride when his mom tells me she is happy her son has found someone so worth his love.

The tears after a big fight. And then him rushing over to dry them with kisses, not being able to sleep until he knows I am better.

The silent way people drift apart, the way the secret smiles fade. The fights end in crying with no one to hold you. the way your world seems to collapse, but you know this isn’t the way its supposed to be.

YELLING AT HIM TO FIX IT. even though you know you did more damage than he did.

After the break up, the feeling of betray as you look at another guy. Knowing you shouldn’t be looking, you don’t belong to them. knowing he still doesn’t look at anyone but you.

When you hang out, the way his eyes watch yours,the way they say sorry, the way you know he wants to kiss you and make all the pain go away. Trying your hardest not to cry because he refuses to become a couple together.

Being completely in love with him. and him with you.

Being best friends.

Him thinking he is not good enough, so he wants you to find someone that is.

You refusing to find someone else because you want him.

The complications. The tears. The heartache.

The feeling of love through it all.
-J

62 comments:

  1. Wooooow, this really touched me.
    It's the story of everyone who was in love and broke up, and who hasn't gone through it all.
    But you are right, this is Love, the good feelings and the bad ones, the smiles, the kisses, the tears, the fights and the making up, the pain and the regret.
    The feeling of love through it all.
    Really nicely written J.
    Thx for posting

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  2. Wow.
    This is exactly how I have been feeling. It made me cry. I can remember yelling at him knowing i was the one who did worse.

    I feel so sad all over again. The break up has been so hard. I still love him...and he keeps refusing to get back together


    I hate these feelings

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  3. Too true...
    And he will always have a corner to stay at in your heart.
    Always.
    Forever.

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  4. My gosh, this is intense.
    Love is insane.

    Your posts have inspired a love-related blog of my own...overflowing emotionally now!
    Must take some time out!

    Thank you so much for your posts xxx

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  5. Nooo, I didn't want it to get so sad because the beginning was so warm & fuzzy

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  6. Oh, geez, was I typing my inner thoughts while sleeping again??

    I need to lay off the hot chocolate before bed... :)

    I get this.

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  7. this is beautiful and true for so many parts of what love truly is.

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  8. that's what real love is: "the feeling od love through it all", when you know love is there no matter how much you try to deny it.

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  9. "yelling at him to fix it."- so beautifully said. your blog has become a highlight of my every day routine.

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  10. Wow. Wonderfully, beautifully written. I was hoping the love they were referring to wouldn't end in a breakup, but they have summed up the feeling of a mutual, frustrating, but full-of-love breakup soo well. I am intrigued by this.

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  11. this isn't love..if you love you try...you don't say im not good enough and leave. When you love you try, you do everything you can, when you love all you can give is your attention and yourself and that can never be not good enough...if you love someone you will be with them...

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  12. makes me feel less alone. why is this story so common? its happened to me also. i want a part II to this. where s/he find love again, either with eachother or someone new.

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  13. Reminds me of 500 days of summer :)

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  14. Wow. The combination of that image and the first paragraph makes me feel like I'm right back in that bed, experiencing it all over again.. so beautifully written.

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  15. breath-takingly beautiful.
    one of the best entries yet.

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  16. beautifully written, i felt the images you created in my head.

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  17. THIS PAGE HAS BECOME ALL ABOUT HOW HARD AND TRICKY LOVE IS.. THAT WE HAVE IN OUR OWN LIVES THANK YOU. I WANT THE FLUFFY STUFF PLEASE

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  18. i would fight fight fight fight til he was mine once again.

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  19. beautiful but painful story. just like all love story's are. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you both.

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  20. this truly beautiful thanks for sharing.

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  21. wow that blew my mind.
    a-m-a-z-i-n-g.

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  22. Oh I just love your blog, have put it on my post & my favourite list.

    Everytime you somehow manage to get such heart wrenching emotions to surface its unimaginable. Truely awesome.

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  23. Most beautiful, relatable thing i've read on this entire site. & I'm a true follower of le love.
    thanks so much!

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  24. Also! If anyone has any long distance stories to share please visit my blog http://ldlovers,blogspot.com/ It is ALL about long distance relationships of any form. Just started it, i'm in desperate need of stories. please help!

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  25. I followed a link from a friend here. Beautiful blog and writing. I think we have all been through this at one time or another. We grow from experiences such as these.

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  26. I hated the end.. but this was beautifully written.

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  27. too much writing! back to pictures only.

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  28. So beautiful.. and yet so painful

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  29. i am currently experiencing this, and i find it so beautiful and inspiration to view our struggle not as negatively ...

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  30. I did not expect this to get put up there...wow.

    Him and I are best friends, we talk every day. we are together but not officially.. that sort of thing. he wants me to be happy, but he strongly believes that someone else will do a better job than him at that. i am trying my hardest to convince him otherwise.

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  31. This was really touching! I love the simplicity of your words, but the intensity of your message.
    Beautiful.

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  32. Beautiful!! You are an amazing writer!! wow!

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  33. Thank you for a beautiful blog! I found a similar post on another one, thought you might like it.
    Once again, thank you!

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  34. Ofcourse, I forget to post the link... here it is: http://parisbynight.webblogg.se/2009/october/ignorance-is-bliss.html

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  35. I didnt like this one.. In my opinion, it tries to be poetic too hard. And the stuff about 'When you sleep with him he'll keep you forever' is bullshit anyway.
    But I love your blog♥

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  36. yeah,you make me want to cry. i have exactly like mine story. its absolutely like mine. But atleast "he"never make you ashamed in front of his family.

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  37. Oh god.. this is so beautiful its so amazing .. im falling tears now :(

    I envy this person's emotion.. i have never loved like that <3

    I love this blog incredibly .. out of every piece in my heart!

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  38. So that's what love is like?Intresting.
    .... I want that too!!

    In other words: that is a really touching text!

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  39. this is so beautiful yet so sad but i love it. i can relate to a lot of what you said especially the first 3 paragraphs and some of the last. it is what is is

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  40. Loved it. Love your blog so much its very touching!



    http://epiphanyfashion.blogspot.com

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  41. A lot of what the writer wrote is so relate-able, but there's a point where both parties should try to break away if the relationship is not going anywhere. And even though when one partner does move on, and it might seem selfish, it's actually just right, because it may not seem like it, but your former partner is opening up the opportunity for you to move on as well.

    http://brokendancefloors.blogspot.com

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  42. I'm not even in a relationship/in love and this made me cry at my desk. It was beautiful.

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  43. Wow. This is incredible.

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  44. This made me cry. It was so beautiful.

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  45. It's all cool.
    I loved the hugging part though.
    The looking at another person, thing...I hate it...I belive in true dedication to one person and loving him/her till eternity...even after death...well that's just what I believe...

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