Friday, September 11, 2009

he says he doesn't know what love is


all of your emails are so inspiring. i get SO many everyday and wish i could post it all, but that would mean blogging 24 hours a day. thanks to all who have submitted and thanks to A for this email:

Alright. So here I am, 2.30am in the morning, going home from work, my heart is in so much pain, I am trying to find some sort of logical reason how that person who I am keep trying to establish a healthy relationship just let me lose him again.

He says he doesn't know what love is. He says he has never felt it. Only has been told that it's something amazing and fantastic and wonderful... But he doubts he has ever experienced it.
This made me want to find the right way to explain it to him - or maybe just to myself - what LOVE is.

Because I've been there, it happened to me. I guess love is an instant thing. It's either there or not. And it happens so quickly, you don't even notice it.
When you meet with that special person the first time, you know nothing about each other. Nothing at all. And despite all the rationality something just happen. You want to spend hours with that person, you want to just listen to what he/she says - even if it would be a big pile of rubbish if it'd come out from somebody else's mouth.
He/she makes you laugh like no others.
You can be the strongest, most confident person in the whole wide World, but you just can't stop those shaky legs, don't seem to be able to put one sensible sentence together - nor stop talking because you are too worried it will get awkward and weird.
At the end of the night of your first date you wish time would stop there and then at that perfect moment - when only the two of you exist in the Universe - would never end.
You've just said goodbye 5 minutes ago but you already feel like you have many new stories to tell him/her.
You can't sleep because all you can think of how great you felt with that person and you are trying to figure how can it be so easy and smooth.
You get changed several times before the next date because you want to make sure you look your best and he/she just won't be able to take his/her eyes off you.
And then all of a sudden this person becomes part of your every moment in the day.
You can't focus at work, keep recalling those perfect nights together, call in sick because you want to stay in bed with him/her as long as possible, you are so proud of this person in your life that you want to introduce him/her to everyone from the local postman to you best friends and your family, and this is the person who is the reason why you cancel dinner with your best friend...

And then.. You realize that so much time gone past and that person is still there. And you became one very special and unique thing together that you never want to lose. Hopefully it lasts for a while.

But there are times when it comes to an end. And I don't know why. I guess as us, humans constantly growing, developing, making changes and decisions in our lives as individuals; creates the chance to grow apart.

And it hurts. And seems like the end of the World has came. And you suffer. Can't eat or sleep. Want to hate the one, think of every bad and negative you can just remember of but still can't hate him/her.
This is love. Still. Even if it's now making you suffer.

And then it starts again.
And you are putting your heart out there for someone else who might break it, but who cares when it's feels soooo good to have that warm and fuzzy feeling inside for whatever long it lasts? :)


  1. Oh, wow. I am so happy that I found your blog. It is perfection.

  2. I love love love love the last paragraph! :)

  3. This is what I am totally feeling right now. I am suffering from Love! The worst feeling in the world. Cannot eat or think like i used to and its been more than 2 months since we have broken up. Created this blog just to let my emotions out and still suffering inside. =[

  4. i'm experiencing the exact same thing.
    its so true.
    would want tht warm and fuzzy feeling again.

  5. I love this. Thank you thank you thank you!!

  6. beautifully written. love is so euphoric and then can be so painful. keep your heart open at any moment it will all change again.

  7. Oh shit. I think I'm in love.

  8. it´s soooooo true. the text express all that i´m felling right now. i´m suffering but i cannot hate him and probably i´ll put my heart out there again...that is love!

  9. Nicely written, but... I know this is a very subjective matter, but I couldn't help feeling the person who wrote the email is confusing "love" with "being in love". Yes, all the above is nice and wonderful and overwhelming, but that's being in love. Love, on the other hand, is sublte. It won't keep you up at night - it's the reason you sleep well. It won't distract you at work, but helps you keep focused becuase you know at home there's a safe base and a person who thinks the world of you.
    It isn't instant - it's there tonight, tomorrow and the day after, and you find comfort in knowing this.
    And it's all the small things. Enjoying a quiet cup of coffee in the morning, leaving a post-it note with a few meaningful words, helping each other with all the dull parts of life; laundry, cleaning, cooking. Love is sharing all those things that make up life. Love is when the sum is greater than the parts. Love is sublte, but in essense so much stronger and powerful than being in love.

  10. I love that the writing on this blog can transport you to a time when you, too, felt the same. Lovely stories. Thank you for sharing with us.

  11. It is true, and thank you for reminding me of it.

  12. I don't agree with this post at all.
    love is an action not an infatuation of another person.
    here's a little thing i posted day or two ago about what i think:


  13. The anonymous person above summed what i was thinking exactly. Thank you for putting my feelings into words haha

  14. that's so true. when you fall in love again first you are afraid, then you are adapting, but in the end you are there hopelessly lost in someone else. amazing.

  15. i know everyone else is saying it too but...

    it's so true.

  16. the sweetest thing i have ever read, i died.

  17. To everyone who took the time to write a comment to my thoughts. Agree or disagree. :)

  18. MASSiVE THANK YOU for all comments from the author! Xxx

  19. I think many people have trouble distinguishing love from lust. That 'butterfly' feeling generally lasts for about 2 years for many people. Try living with a person for 5+ years, and if you still appreciate your partner, that is love.
    I have loved, but have never experienced the kind of deep love that I sometimes read/hear about. It makes me feel alienated and unhappy. Perhaps love means different things to different people.

  20. he moved away and i love him. now we have a whole country between us and he still doesn't know how I feel. I love him. I've loved him for years while he just jerked me around. I went from lover to friend, to something in between, back to friend and then lover again and then he moved away.

    The only thing that bothers me more than him not being mine is the thought of him someday being with someone else.

    Since I can't tell him, I'll tell you. I love him. I love his laughter and his jokes, I love his strong outward front and I love when he calls me in the middle of the night because he's missing his dead grandmother, I love his soft voice when he begs me to say everything is gonna be okay, he says that when I say it he believes it. I love that i know him better the anyone else, how funny his hair looks when he just let's it dry without any styling after a shower. It looks like a blonde helmet.

    I hate how his friends only talk about fashion and skinny girls and wear silly hats and oversized tanktops while he feels inferior and tries to be like them when he's really something amazing.
    I hate that even though we fall asleep arms entwined I always wake up with his back facing me and distance between us.
    I hate that he has intimicy-issues.
    Sometimes I hate his shoes.
    And his temper.

    But I love him playing the piano. And taking my picture. And making me dinner. Saying he misses me. Kisses me.

    Hate him leaving me.

  21. I can only read this site for so long feeling amazing, until I realize I will always love some one who will never love me back. Then my stomach knots up and I feel sick, lay in bed all day and think of a thousand things to say to him, all false. But I'll keep trying until the day I die.

  22. This might be the most truthful thing I've ever read.

  23. This is going to make me cry if I keep thinking about it. I don't want to lose this feeling.

  24. I visit ur blog everyday... the best blog i've ever seen... it's so positive... it gaves me power and hope when HE makes me sad... than you!

  25. weeeell, was kinda hard for me reading this when i just broke up with my boyfriend...
    i feel soo sad, and this is soooo true.
    i dont know what to do!

  26. Wow i just got goosebumps from reading the post! beautiful story. thanks.

    Love your blog:)

  27. Stunningly worded, and so so true.

  28. clara, the answer to your question is there in the last paragraph.. Don't be afraid.. Put your heart out there.. Take the risk :)

  29. I kinda hate love but this little story makes me want to feel it, like I never have.
    Thanks for this wonderful blog! It just made my day.

  30. Wow, this story hits hard. Its beautiful. I feel it. We all have, do, and will.

    Lovely photograph!

    Samantha @PrettyLovely

  31. I've never felt that kind of love. And after reading this I only want to experience it more, at least get a taste of the feeling, even if I end up heartbroken.

    Your blog is great, love the way you're writing! ♥

  32. Since Monday I haven't been able to get those words out of my head "I don't know what love is" that he said to me as I poured out the words to him. The truth is he is the first guy I have ever said them to and after reading your entry I realize I can feel crushed now but excited for the future when I find "real love" like you describe here <3

  33. that was the most beautiful thing i've ever read. i now realise what love is and i know now that i have never felt it. thank you so much for posting this. xx

  34. This isn't love. Not true love. The world would come to a standstill because you can't function under these conditions. This is expressing the affects I'd the hormones we get when we first meet someone we fancy. It enables us to form the bond which will lead to true love. After this stage which can last up to a few years, we start seeing the real person, we start to find those things we adored are annoying. We then reach the bargaining stage where we decide if we love them enough to put up with their faults and they ours. This is when most relationships fail. If you move past this stage, then it's love. You want to be with them in spite of their annoying habits. You look forward to spending time together and want to share your future together. THAT is true love. Not what's written above no matter how much we want it to be true. Sorry


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