Sunday, July 26, 2009

i'm 17 and in love


ffffound

i received this email:

"i dont have any adorably cute pictures of us to make a person squirm, and i have no perfectly flawless story to tell but thats what makes my love so beautiful. he was my best friend, when i met him, well we were both a little pre-occupied, he was trying to get over an ex that he had been so sure he was in love with and i was well on my way to falling head over heals for my fling which quickly turned boyfriend. though that didnt stop us from talking, we were in two classes together back to back from eachother and so every day wed walk to math from religion. well minus the days that id see my boyfriend in the hall, and i always felt myself fell a little sadness when i had to part with my bestfriend to talk to my boyfriend. not that i wasnt crazy for the boy, but it was just always so much easier talking to dominic (the bestfriend) then it was ryan (the bf). dominic was always there for me, he was a goof and a funny buddy and though i was falling fast for ryan i couldnt help but create a feeling for dominic that he admited to returning. i tried to shrug it off but it was hard. we dont have any romantic way that he swooped me from ryan, actually we started to distance, ryan was jealous and i wasnt in the mood to argue so i just, distanced myself from my bestfriend. it hurt. even after we broke up i found myself trying to keep my distance, maybe ryan would take me back, thats what i always seemed to want. no dominic didnt say anything about how we should be together actually the start of our relationship was a really rocky one, im not sure how we did it but both of us were suffering from a broken heart. i had only been with ryan for about four months but the reality of it was that he had become everything to me and more. he was my whole world and he promised me forever just to break my heart and string me along. though dominic was always there to listen, i avoided talking about it, really, me and my best friend could never really say we were just friends. we always 100% had a crush on eachother but it was never the right time to admit it openly and try it out. i remember it really clearly, valentines day was coming along and ryan was trying to win me back, said he wanted to see me i of course said yes, but kept a back up plan with dominic just incase. i knew better then to actually expect ryan to keep a plan and i wanted to see the best friend i had been avoiding so it worked. when ryan bailed like i had expected dominic invited me over to his house to watch some movies, eat some popcorn and just hang out. we watched the movie sure, his arm wraped around me. i remember my heart beating 50 miles an hour and wondering how i could sit there in his arms and feel so comfortable, like my heart wasnt completely broken inside of me and my life hadnt fallen around me months before. it was mr and mrs smith, we joked around about it, goofed off, cuddled, but when the movie ended and the whole room fell dark minus the small glow off the now gray tv screen he looked at me, and we sat as close as we could be and just sat there. our forheads touching and looking in eachothers eyes. i had never felt so comfortable in my entire life, just laying in his arms made me feel tired but i kept my eyes as open as possible to watch his. it took us a good 15 minutes siting like that for him to finally kiss me, i hadnt exactly expected it, i knew he liked me, he knew i liked him, but it wasnt like we were in the possition to date. though, that didnt stop us, we spent at least three hours every day texting eachother after that, and not the cute best friend things we use to say but cute i miss you i love yous your amazing sort of things that we loved. i hadnt been that happy since me and ryan broke up. we have no real love story but i am in love with this boy. 5 months later and i can honestly say ive never been happier with anyone in my entire life, hes perfect and amazing and though he has his flaws, i love him for them. we fit perfectly together and my family loves him. i miss him when hes gone and i try to spend every minute with him i can. when im sad or scared i talk to him and he cheers me up and makes me feel safe in an instant. were in love, im sure of it, hes told me hes in love with me every day since the first time he said it. he told me hed remind me every day for the rest of our lives. he doesnt believe in forever but he said he knows no matter what our love will be around even after our bodies fade away. its only been 5 months but if it were up to me id marry him tomorrow, i know were not gonna just end in a month, and im not gonna be niave and say ill be with him forever and have kids with him, but i still hope i will. cause hes amazing and perfect and i love him. did i mention i love him. so like ive said, we dont have any cute pictures and my friends dont go gaga at us cause were so cute, but were perfect for eachother. i promise ill never hurt him. i just thought id share that, even though it probably bored you. im 17 and in love, who knew that was possible ?"
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it didn't bore me! it amused me. i am happy you are in love. best to you both ♥

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