Monday, April 6, 2009

unrequited love


vogue

A slack jaw and single, heavy thud of my heart as I look between them
and realise the events that will follow.

A gulp as I swallow my fantasies for him and bury them deep.
A shrug as I shake off any unjust and un-entitled feelings of betrayal
that threaten to cloud her in my head.

" Its fine," I hear my brain whisper softly to my heart.
"He's not yours and she is great"


Crying would feel good, but I can't muster a single sob.
I wade through my pain with a bittersweet smile on my lips.
My love for him has long seemed unrealistic, but I had hooked my heart
on these silly dreams.

She is an easy friend. Funny, beautiful, social and sparky.
He obviously has seen this in her too.

Shame he never saw it in me.
Crashing into new realities hurt.
-ju

32 comments:

  1. oh, ouch. that hurts.

    unrequited love is a very significant and big side of love that doesn't get enough coverage, appreciation, or.. well, love.

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  2. I know exactly how you feel. Maybe you'll look back in a few years and appreciate your capacity to love someone even without it being returned. It's a beautiful sad side to love. So selfish and selfless at the same time.

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  3. What's worse is to know what their love feels like, and then to lose it.

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  4. This is the perfect post for what I am struggling through right now. It makes my heart ache to read it as I over-identify.

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  5. how utterly and desperately beautiful

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  6. i think im gonna remember "its fine" my brain whispers to my heart, he was never yours and she´s great. and, yeah, he did see that in me too, but so sadly, choose not to ... dont worry, honey, i´ll cry for both of us

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  7. hey! i really like your blogs, all of them...
    but this one is my favorite! you gotta ♥ it!

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  8. definitely can relate to...

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  9. shame he never saw that in me..

    we all feel so invisible in the eyes of the one we love.

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  10. Wow, ive watched this blog since it started and thought it was beautiful but this is the first post that i have felt the need to comment. I felt like that for years, then i got him, then i lost him, you have to be up front with your emotions and tell him.. well thats advice for next time he's free...

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  11. It felt RIDICULOUS sending this piece of mad 4am writing to Le Love...and even more surprising that it was used.
    But most of all, I feel so comforted and justified by all of you great people that have commented.I am still wafting
    around in my NOT hurt but NOT ok state, he is still my great friend who drops by and neither of us have bought it up.
    All in all, I am just stoked that there are bloggy strangers out there riding the love wave as I am .
    Thanks so much!
    juxoxox

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  12. i hate it when he gives mixed signal. frustrating yet you knw you can nv let him go... ahh how stupid that is

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  13. i can't believe how perfectly this post describes how i feel and the situation i have been wrestling with. half the time, i wish i could just forget about it all and accept reality and the other half, i can't bear the thought of letting go.

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  14. " Its fine," I hear my brain whisper softly to my heart.
    "He's not yours and she is great"


    oh, dear. this is almost too beautiful.

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  15. can relate...
    i've known him for a year and he stil cant remember my name :(

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  16. OMG, no words could better describe my situation. These are such sad words but so beautiful at the same time. Sometimes it's not so much a matter of him not recognizing you or your feelings, but maybe the other situation is just easier. Maybe he has noticed you but you're too good, too complicated, too much effort. And maybe that scares him...sometimes they can be afraid to feel too much. There will be another one that recognizes how great you are and return all your feelings. I am holding out for that one, too.

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  17. Woah thanks for this post. I just ended my unrequited love. how honestly written. spoke to my heart.

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  18. I love this blog.
    It's so inspiring
    and the pictures are just plain sexxxy!

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  19. yeay! that was... HEALTHY, we should do it more often! and i didnt tell him anything except "is there anything you want to say to me? and he say ...(silence)...
    so, yeah, in the process (spell right? english isnt my ...)
    so, anyway, ju; "courage beats ridiculous-ness" (oh, and ps. i couldnt cry, i felt too "support" by your "it´s fine")xo everybody

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  20. amazing.

    This hits home with me. I've been struggling with my heart for over 2 years now trying to let it go but..

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  21. that hurts... i had to remind myslef to breathe... deep breath

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  22. Heartbrakingly beautiful. I had to think of the monologue from 'The Holiday' with Kate Winslet;

    "I understand feeling as small and as insignificantly as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of Chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends. You still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment, you could think you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade".

    Good luck to everyone.

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  23. gosh, ju. you nailed that one, i was told yesterday that my sort of friend, sort of lover, is fooling around with another girl, so i guess everythings over now.
    i feel like i almost got him, then lost him, and now i dont feel sorrow nor do i feel relieved. i just feel emptiness, i feel that i have wasted my time on something so great and at the same time so useless. still i dont think ive ever loved anyone that way. i wish i had the curage to tell him or show him how i feel.
    thanks for your words, they are comforting

    (sorry for any mistakes, im french)

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  24. Unrequited love...is the worst...
    gives me the mean reds... : (

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  25. This touched my soul, to have heart and to feel hurt is a precious gift as imagine a world without it.

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  26. this is so amazing.

    "crashing into new realities hurt."

    yes.

    good luck to everyone...we will all find the love we deserve.

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  27. Man, unrequited love is just the worst. I hate that feeling. I hope it gets better.

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  28. does this feeling ever go away? god it hurts

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